Changing nappies in church

[StormGlass]

We went to a christening today.

After the service had finished, and as people were starting to leave the church (quite slowly, as the family group were loitering around the font so guests could take photos if they wanted), one woman changed her little girl's shitty nappy on the end of one of the pews.

I thought this was very bad behaviour.

Okay, shitty nappies need to be changed before too long or the kid could get nappy rash - but the service had finished. People were leaving the church. I've never been in that church before, so no idea what the toilet facilities were like, but surely the mum could have found somewhere outside the church to change the nappy, if it needed doing urgently. Like the well tended grassy verge outside the church, or their car, for instance.

I didn't mention anything, as the family group didn't seem to notice and I didn't want to spoil their day by making a fuss about it. But I'm sort of wondering if I should have said something.

AIBU to think this was unacceptable behaviour? And pretty grim.

When ds1 was a baby, I used to trek across town to my 'mother' church. He started whinging for a feed one week (by which I mean making nose but not full on crying) I ummed and ahhed for a few seconds and then took him outside and fed him on a bench.

After the service the vicar asked if I'd left to feed, and then told me that in future I should feed wherever I'm sat, and while we're on the subject of babies, feel free to change him at the back, on a chair if you'd rather not bend down.'

His closing comment was something about how Jesus had to be fed and changed, and Mary would have done it anywhere.

I go to church every week. I'm absolutely sure God is far more concerned with judging and grumping than He is with a mother caring for her baby.

Change nappies in church, breastfeed, pass your children rice cakes - what's important is being there to worship God with a heart for HIM and not one obsessed with what everybody else is doing.

We started in a new church a while back with our v young DS. Everybody, old ladies, vicar etc insisted that the baby was not a problem and to change him in the vestry out the back. I wouldn't have done it on a pew as they offered me an alternative but I don't think they would have minded if I had.

The fact that it is a church has got nothing to do with it, imo.

The service was over.

It was a fine, sunny day in all parts of the country.

Why not take baby outside and change on the grass, or in their buggy, or in the car?

Its the "shrug, its only poo" attitude that annoys people the most. Shit in a public place is a big deal.

Why not have a little consideration for others and try not to offend them? God isn't actually there in the Church with working nostrils you know.

Ineed - that is very much the attitude of my church, families with babies and toddlers are told not to worry if they make a noise/need feeding etc they have a box of toys for toddlers to young for sunday school at the back. As long as the children aren't running riot people don't care.

Ds has been known to stand with the vicar while he does the sermon before now!

It's gross. Shit belongs nowhere but in the toilet. Change the baby there.

Dow? So what exactly do you suggest they do when their is no toilet?

I would not like to sit on a pew where a baby had had their nappie changed... forget God, aren't there some hygiene issues here...

As for the person changing a baby in teh middle of a restaurant.... yeuch, and double yeuch. I most certainly would have complained at that

So I should have changed my baby in the toilet on the train?? Even when there was no changing table provided??

Maybe the mum thought it was a quiet place, and could be done quickly?

It would not really bother me, tbh.

As long as she took the dirty nappy with her and didn't leave it under the pew.

In a restaurant is different, as people are eating there. Only the little old ladies who sook their Murray Mints during sermon eat in the church.

amothersplace - hygiene issues? I think it would be quite unusual for a parent not to either use a mat/cloth or wipe it down after they were finished.

Presumably if the baby was changed at the end of a pew, the mother was standing at the end of the pew facing in, with her back blocking the "action"? She probably thought she was being discreet.

Clearly many of you have no idea what churches can be like. Ours is very old and has a tiny toilet - you can barely turn round in it, never mind change a baby. It also has a stone floor - like quite a lot of the church. We do have toilet facilities in the church hall but a visitor wouldn't know where that is (across the road, down a short drive). Our church porch has a stone floor and stone benches and would have people walking through it. The vestry would have people sorting things out after the service and the back of the church is where most of us go out.

Regarding the OP, so long as she was using a changing mat, I really don't see the problem - she certainly wouldn't be judged at our church. It was the end of the service and everyone was going out anyway.

To the PP mentioning a mosque - that is irrelevant - it wasn't! It was a church.

It was a special Christening service, not tacked onto the end of the normal Sunday service. Everyone in the church was there for the christening, and the reception for the christening was in a different village (why I assumed they'd have come by car).

And yes, I do go to church frequently. The congregation is very understanding about small children making noise and needing feeding, but shitty nappies are a different issue IMO.

cat - Breastfeeding in church, or anywhere else, is a completely different scenario, and has nothing to do with changing shitty nappies.

Kazriina, the child in question looked to be between 9 and 12 months old. Unless your 7 week old DD is unusually large and has learnt how to pull herself to standing extremely early, I'm not talking about you.

I agree with coola
As a regular church goer this wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
Yes, maybe try and find a slightly less obvious place but if you don't know where is best to go then I'm pretty sure the mother isn't going to be sent to hell for this!
Our loos don't have baby changing facilities but we do have a grim "crèche" which you could go to but it's not well advertised / signed so, other than the main church, there isn't anywhere on the premises to do a bum change.

I echo that babies / children are the most welcome part of our congregation. I can't imagine anyone at our church complaining about this.

Tinuviel and any others who may have asked this, there was no changing mat being used.

Also, I don't think mentioning a mosque is irrelevant. Churches and mosques are both places of worship.

If my auntie took her baby into her husbands mosque and changed his nappy she'd be ostracised.

It is a place of worship to people, not for you to be changing shitty nappies.

Enclosed public areas are not the place for it.

I don't think breastfeeding has nothing to do with changing nappies. They are both ways parents respond to the needs of their infants.

Bit of both, raspberry, but mostly the fact it's a place of worship. And the nappy change being done in the part of the church where people sit to worship as well.

If I were on a train or in a cafe and someone changed a pooey nappy on the seat next to me I would retch violently and possibly be sick. But hey, it's just sick, right, no need to be uptight?!

Did you stop to have a stare or something to be able to figure so much? Why not walk past and leave them to it?

Yanbu, lots of churches would have changing facilities in the toilets or she could have used the grass outside. Changing a dirty nappy on a pew is grim.