Changing nappies in church

[StormGlass]

We went to a christening today.

After the service had finished, and as people were starting to leave the church (quite slowly, as the family group were loitering around the font so guests could take photos if they wanted), one woman changed her little girl's shitty nappy on the end of one of the pews.

I thought this was very bad behaviour.

Okay, shitty nappies need to be changed before too long or the kid could get nappy rash - but the service had finished. People were leaving the church. I've never been in that church before, so no idea what the toilet facilities were like, but surely the mum could have found somewhere outside the church to change the nappy, if it needed doing urgently. Like the well tended grassy verge outside the church, or their car, for instance.

I didn't mention anything, as the family group didn't seem to notice and I didn't want to spoil their day by making a fuss about it. But I'm sort of wondering if I should have said something.

AIBU to think this was unacceptable behaviour? And pretty grim.

Mosques have a different set up, there will always be facilities for washing so presumably easy to find a changing place. And some/many mosques have a separate prayer area for women -b

I don't know why a baby's poo filled nappy is such a thing of horror to some of you. The nappy contains the poo, it comes off, there is a brief smell, it gets folded up and or put in a bag - end of situation. Everybody defecates. Anybody who has children has handled poo filled nappies. It's not nice but as a one off occasion is it really worth cursing this poor woman? Just get past it.

No, Sirzy, I didn't stop to stare. But because the pews are all mostly open backed, it was difficult not to notice.

Whoops, baby hit send. Mosques often have a seperate bit for women, I wonder do nappies never get changed there?

i think she should have used a mat but then i can change a pooey nappy and keep it all contained as i wipe and as i pull the dirty nappy out from under bum i put the clean one straight under so babies bum never touches the surface i am changing on.

have also changef a baby on train. went to london and within minutes of getying on train baby had a poo. the toilets are too small so mat on seat and very wuick change. it was either that or leave baby to sit in a pooey nappy for two hours! so not much choice.

As we have established she didn't have a changing mat, the idea of her changing the baby on the grass outside seems more unsavoury.

I don't attend church but at a wedding once dd did the most disgusting nappy just before the service and i was told by a little old lady to change her on the pew as the vestry and toilet were in use.

Sometimes you don't have a.choice where you change a nappy

I'm a regular (weekly) church attender. I would have no issue with someone changing a baby at the end of a service when the church is empty and people are mingling in the porch. Obviously I would hope the mum would dispose of the soiled nappy too.

I would hate it if a baby was changed during the service or even prior to it. Not because of how it looked, but because of the smell. Let's face it, particularly once babies are eatings solids, their nappies can be rather ripe!

When I was out and about with any of my children I would look for changing facilities, if none were available I would go to a quiet corner and change the baby in the pushchair. I wouldn't have done it on the pew itself I have to say.

lots of churches do NOT even have toilets, let alone changing facilities. many are very old, have stone floors etc as has already been mentioned.

I wouldn't dream of changing a shitty nappy in a public place.

She should have taken it to a secluded spot outside, into a car, anything.

Total fuckwittery.

Yabu. Unless she was actually getting poo on the pew!

Seriously - you would retch and throw up if I changed my baby's dirty nappy next to you? How on Earth do you deal with your own (and possibly your children's poo?).

Well I tend to poo in a loo, as an adult, so not really comparable to a nappy. Plus no one minds their own.
And I don't have children. and the vast majority of people you pass in a day don't have children of nappy age either, even if they do have children. And therefore actually don't get exposed to the faeces of others. At all. ANd I think, understandably, when you are in the baby years and immune to your children's waste, it's very easy for people to forget that.

To me, the pew area of the church is where a sacred ordinance (communion/sacrament) takes place and so it's disrespectful to use it as a toileting area. Not a deadly sin, just inappropriate.

The church we attend has a room with comfy chairs for feeding babies in, a baby changing room and a room full of toys for younger children where parents can take them and listen to the service over the speaker system if they want to. Children are an integral part of the church experience and families sit wherever they like with toys, books, snacks for the younger ones, breast feeding, whatever. But poo + a place that people consider sacred? Not really on.

So what was I supposed to do then? Change his nappy on the floor in a dirty train toilet?? I don't think so, do you? If anyone around me had been eating, or about to eat, I would've waited until they had finished, or let them know. Plus, would it not be better to just change the nappy, and rid the carriage of the smell that was coming from his bum?

I'll repeat myself because I feel like it. It is just poo. Needs must.

You're very lucky to have such facilities in your church slightly - but not everyone is as lucky.

Even if you have children of your own in nappies, you get used to the smell of their poo and it doesn't seem so bad, but other people's dirty nappies always smell far more unpleasant.

I'm a regular church-goer and I wouldn't change a baby in a church and to my mind, it is disrespectful, even if the service is over. A church is a place of worship, a consecrated building- like the poster above I think changing a nappy in such a place is inappropriate. I wouldn't change a baby in any religious building- not a synagogue or mosque- because even though those buildings aren't meaningful to me, I understand their importance for people of those faiths.

Having said that, I absolutely wouldn't change a baby on a seat next to me on a train either. How utterly unpleasant for other passengers to be exposed to a pooey nappy. Unless my children were different to other babies, their nappies could stink to high heaven. Why should other passengers put up with it? Plus, and perhaps this is a bit old-fashioned, but I think babies deserve a bit of privacy too. They may be unaware of what's going on, but I wouldn't whip my own bottom out in any of these situations, why would I do it to my baby?

God may not have minded, but I'd imagine a lot of those who had to witness it probably did. There is a time and a place for having a shitty arse shoved in your face, a church gathering is really not one of them.
Some people just don't get why some things are just plain inappropriate.

Babies nappies do certainly smell! In fact, LO's farts are often much worse than his poo. But I digress...I fail to see how changing a baby's nappy outside on the grass would be better than changing it inside the actual church (providing of course, everything was cleaned up).

And, if any public place does not provide a place to change babies nappies, then they have very little say/right in where the nappy gets changed.

For goodness sake, it's only a dirty nappy!! None of the congregation in my church bat an eyelid when I change DS. There are no facilities and I'm not going outside if it's peeing down or freezing. There is no choice!! Get a grip!

Mintyy: "The fact that it is a church has got nothing to do with it, imo.
The service was over.
It was a fine, sunny day in all parts of the country.
Why not take baby outside and change on the grass, or in their buggy, or in the car?
Its the "shrug, its only poo" attitude that annoys people the most. Shit in a public place is a big deal.
Why not have a little consideration for others and try not to offend them? God isn't actually there in the Church with working nostrils you know."

Absolutely. Is it all part of the PFB, Children Must Come First attitude that seems to be a bit pervasive these days?
Although, actually, I do think it matters that it's a church.