to take this job

[ruledbyheart]

I have been offered a job that fits in nicely with my DCs working nights in a club the money is good the DCs won't know I'm gone its perfect, even my DP is happy with it as its something I want to do.

The only thing is it is in an adult club the naughty kind, I will only be hostessing and not doing anything naughty myself but my friend has gone bonkers and called me a slut tart and a prostitute, asking what my DC would think (who is gonna tell them?).

So I'm not drip feeding, I was offered the job but didn't apply for it - I know the owner, and it is a few towns over so doubtful anyone I know will be there (and tbh if their paying to go there it says more about them than me).

So WIBU to take this job because I'm a mum?

YWBU to not take the job based on your stupid friend and because you're a Mum. You might BU to take the job because clubs like these are frequently pretty revolting places that front for prostitution. Only you know. And tell you're friend not to call other women names like that.

I will only be hostessing and not doing anything naughty myself but my friend has gone bonkers and called me a slut tart and a prostitute, asking what my DC would think (who is gonna tell them?).

Could you define 'hostess' for me? as in bar maid? cloakroom attendant? or is 'hostessing' an euphemism for looking good and sitting with men to buy drinks, extras optional?

Who would tell them? anyone who didn't like you - your mate knows, she will tell other mates, be round the school playground like wild fire. Someones brother/husband/ex might attend the club - gossip spreads.

If you want the job, take the job.

Ditch the friend, she sounds jealous!

Please punctuate.

It sounds like your job fits in nicely with the fact that your DC's work nights in a club.

But no, YANBU. If you are happy and your dh is happy then it's nobody else's business.

Id ditch the friend she is jealous how dare she call you a slut tart and prostitute if you're happy with it fine and have fun i personally couldnt be doing with all the late nights and loud music but that cos im old and curmudgeonly and like my sleep to much

Sorry on new phone, hence the awful typing.
Hostessing in the sence of waiting tables and showing new clientle around the club.
Yes it is a very dressy place and I will have to look good but it is also a very classy (for a place of its type anyway) and have security for the ladies who visit as well as the staff.

Yes I may get found out and people would know what I do but on further thoughts I'm just making ends meet and not doing anything wrong morally (unless your a feminist and believe that woman are exploited when they have to look good for males sake).

I have no problem with this sort of club, however it is a bit of LEAP of the imagination to describe them as classy!

unless your a feminist and believe that woman are exploited when they have to look good for males sake If you're dissing feminists then I'm leaving the thread, bye!

Sorry on new phone, hence the awful typing.
Hostessing in the sence of waiting tables and showing new clientle around the club.
Yes it is a very dressy place and I will have to look good but it is also a very classy (for a place of its type anyway) and have security for the ladies who visit as well as the staff.

Yes I may get found out and people would know what I do but on further thoughts I'm just making ends meet and not doing anything wrong morally (unless your a feminist and believe that woman are exploited when they have to look good for males sake).

Sorry phone posted twice.

I'm not dissing feminists everyone has their own opinions, I just mean I'm not worried about having to look good for mens benefit, however I know some people who wouldn't be happy on that reason alone.

Is the club a front for prostitutes escorts? because if it is, you will be tarred with the same brush by virtue of working there.

All well and good if you live in deepest darkest home counties and commute into London - not so good if you live a 3 minute walk from your local city centre.

This is one of the things I wouldn't judge anyone on. Everyone has their own moral compass and you do what you have to do to keep a roof over their heads.

The question is: You may do this out of free will, but if you were loaded would you still do it? If you answer that you wouldnt do it if you were of a sufficient financial position, then maybe it's not exactly your free will. Your words I'm just making ends meet how far would you go if your car suddenly blew up and you had no savings but needed a car? Are you able to keep within your moral boundary or would the lure of paying a bill tempt you to go further?

Can you be exploited when you voluntarily do something? err, yes, you can.

I thought that hostess was just a euphamism for prostitute in the higher-end clubs. Are you sure you understand what will be involved in the job?

Being a hostess involves a lot more than showing clients in.

I wouldn't work in any capacity for a club where women take their clothes off to be objectified by men.

It's entirely up to you if you want to though. You say you know the owner but you don't say how - I wouldn't really be friends with anybody who owns a strip joint so if you are maybe we have different attitudes to the sex industry, in which case you won't care whether i think YABU or not really.

I think you are bring staggeringly naive about what this job involves.

no one "makes" women become prostitutes, Im pretty sure that there are plenty of prostitutes who are actually perfectly happy with their job and good luck to them is what i say. But if you think that no exploitation happens in the sex industry then you need to wake up. Also, just because someone "puts themselves forward" to be fucked by dirty old men, they may feel like they don't have a choice - homeless, drugs etc. Just the same as folk who work for a pittance to feed their familys in sweat shops etc, are you tellin me that because these people choose to do this they are not being exploited. Oh and then theres the farmers in the third world who are not being paid a fair whack for their crops? Im sure i can think of some other forms of exploitation that can be ignored because people are "volunteering" to do it.

OP, if you are comfortable with the job, do it - but i would have to be very sure that everyone working there was being paid fairly and working safely, then I'd probably do it myself. But i would have to be sure.

No the club is very well run, I know the owners and have been visting for years as its a nice place to drink.
Staff are not allowed to have any physical contact with customers whilst they are working (although what they do afterwards is down to them).

It is in london and an hours drive (although wages makes it worth while).

Also if my daughter wanted to do that when she is old enough and I knew it was safe (security wise) then that would be her decision.

If you need the money, and you're comfortable with doing the job (whatever it involves) then it's your decision, none of your friend's business really.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who called me names like that.

although what they do afterwards is down to them i suspect it is what they do afterwards that makes their money. I think you need to have your eyes wide open before you accept this job. I would hope my daughter would decide against this sort of job.

so take the job then, but make sure you have a response for, or become immune to comments made by people who think as your friend does.