to take this job

[ruledbyheart]

I have been offered a job that fits in nicely with my DCs working nights in a club the money is good the DCs won't know I'm gone its perfect, even my DP is happy with it as its something I want to do.

The only thing is it is in an adult club the naughty kind, I will only be hostessing and not doing anything naughty myself but my friend has gone bonkers and called me a slut tart and a prostitute, asking what my DC would think (who is gonna tell them?).

So I'm not drip feeding, I was offered the job but didn't apply for it - I know the owner, and it is a few towns over so doubtful anyone I know will be there (and tbh if their paying to go there it says more about them than me).

So WIBU to take this job because I'm a mum?

Your kids would get teased to hell, people will find out and really I would not be happy for my DH to say oh go out and chat up other men in a tarty club. Surely there is something you can do that you do not have to be seen like this and has for being offered it he must have seen something in you he liked?? The high wages as well would be an alert to me that it is not just showing people around ooh I feel quite ill with the idea of men coming in and looking at you like a erm...tart. Sorry do not know another word.
However it is of course your choice and your choice alone not a friends or mumsnet or anyones.

I'm wondering what kind of person is friends with the owner of a sex club.

Do what is right for you and your family!

How can it ever be right working in that way and be a role model surely you have your sights on something better. Money is not everything.

Having worked in several gentlemen's clubs over the years in various parts of the country I have never encountered a hostess that does anything else except serve drinks. The dancers are there to do their job, the hostesses theirs. In the same way a dancer wouldn't serve drinks a hostess is by no means required to "entertain" clients. Chat to them etc yes, the same as any other waitress but that's it.

And none of the clubs I worked in were a front for prostitution either. Yes some girls did probably see clients outside of work but most didn't.

Fair enough Foxy but I was just thinking of the connotations for the children their Mother working in an environment like that.

YANBU It's no-one else's business where you work except you and your immediate family.

If you choose to work in a place where security has to be provided because women may be attacked, then I feel sorry for you. Doesn't this imply that there is the constant threat of danger to women?

Security is provided in Tesco because the rice crispies might be violated, but in your workplace, security is provided because your fellow human beings may be violated.
Similarly, A and E may have security, not because women may be attacked, but because any HCP professional may be attacked by vulnerable or aggressive ill people.

Just a thought. If you choose to take the job, I hope your DH doesn't stress with the worry that security may be lapse one night...

Security is provided in every nightclub and a lot of city centre bars. Not sure how that is relevant.

wordfactory

I think she sounds tough. Hard, in fact.

Raspberryandorangesorbet. Oops, sorry about making your head explode. I can see that my sentence is a bit, umm, err . I was meaning that the OP is just doing it to feed her family and not to support drugs or whatever and that she is , hopefully, doing it with a more sensible approach than others. Hope that is clearer.
I would be horrified if my DD (or DS's) worked in the sex industry. I wouldn't want them to be in an industry that exploits (some) people and has links to crime, drugs, illegal trafficking in people etc etc.
However, the OP has made what, she thinks, is a considered desicion and I think it's better that she is taking the job rather than someone who chooses to do it for the wrong reasons (IYSWIM )

FOXYROXY thank you for your reply.
I have refrained from responding directly to people as I am sure by reading this that the hysteria is misplaced, I would love to know how many of the responders have actually visited a place and spoken to the girls instead of deciding what they are like from their own heads.

Yes some places are seedy as hell and promote prostitution just like some pubs promote binge drinking but not all, none of the people on here no which club it is and tarring all places the same is judgemental and small minded.

Some girls do sink into the sex industries darker level but many don't, like stated most areas have at least one club so that means thousands of depressed drug addicted scared women all over the country?! Please if that was true the clubs would be illegal and councils wouldn't grant licenses.

Please do your research into these things before judging.

OP - are you surprised that lots of people agree with your friend? Were you hoping this would be a thread full of people saying "go for it, she's just being silly/a prude/doesn't understand what she's talking about"?

Your friend's reaction is the one that most people will have.

If you do take the job, sit down with your DH first and plan how you are going to deal with it when people start gossiping - and it will get out. (being a couple of towns over is not going ot keep this one quiet, esp since you've already told one person).

ruled I have direct experience of this. Do you?

Would anyone elses partner be cool with this other men looking on lustfull y?? sheesh

DH wouldn't be bothered by that aspect. Men chat me up when I am out with him and I go to the bar, sometimes! He just says "Who was that then ?" when I go back to the table.

Not quite the same thing, Mary. Presumably you aren't drinking in bars where women are being paid to take their clothes off at the next door table...

OFGS take the job, it suits your needs at the moment,its benefiting your family,you sound like you want to do it for the afore mentioned reasons. Who the fck cares what other people think and to be honest a lot of principles go out the window when you need to support your family and there shouldnt be any shame attached to that. Id do a lot worse if I had to to support my family and to hell with what any one else thought
I never judge other people for the same reason,walk a mile in my shoes and all that

Jeeso this thread is getting ridiculous!

The OP has been offered a job that suits her and her family perfectly, keeps a roof over their heads and doesn't deprive her DC's of time with her. Most gentleman clubs are perfectly fine, its peoples imagination that turn it into something most of them are not.

OP take the job!

Your friend sounds pretty poisonous.

I read this op this morning and honestly thought it was a wind up.

But it's not.

OP I can see how this job, at this moment is attractive to you. How's about another job? I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who needs someone to do a bit of sales. Just saying hi, introducing people, smiling. You'd be perfect. He sells crack. But obviously you won't be selling it directly. Or taking it. Or anything like that. Just you turn up, smile, look pretty and soften the customers up a bit.

You up for it? Great! Pm me your number...