to take this job

[ruledbyheart]

I have been offered a job that fits in nicely with my DCs working nights in a club the money is good the DCs won't know I'm gone its perfect, even my DP is happy with it as its something I want to do.

The only thing is it is in an adult club the naughty kind, I will only be hostessing and not doing anything naughty myself but my friend has gone bonkers and called me a slut tart and a prostitute, asking what my DC would think (who is gonna tell them?).

So I'm not drip feeding, I was offered the job but didn't apply for it - I know the owner, and it is a few towns over so doubtful anyone I know will be there (and tbh if their paying to go there it says more about them than me).

So WIBU to take this job because I'm a mum?

I think it's entirely a matter for you OP.

But please don't santise what it is. Don't call it naughty. It is a strip club where men go to meet prostitutes.

Personally I think you'd be meeting the scummiest men (albeit ones in suits) and frankly I don't think my world view could take that

It's up to you, OP. I wouldn't. And if I'm honest, I would judge someone who did. There, I said it.

If you and your DH find it morally acceptable, and don't give a toss what anyone else might think of you, then good luck to you.

If you do care about what other people might think of you (you shouldn't, but many of us do), then it might not be the best job for you.

raspberry, if the OP cared about women being for sale, I don't think this job would come into the morally acceptable category. To be honest, I don't think she'd even be considering this job if that was a concern for her nor would she be friends with some tosser who makes a profit out of the sex industry.

I agree. All very lovely to be a smart hostess. Think about what the saddo with the money is doing to the woman behind the door who consents to having things done to her by someone who is probably cheating on some other poor cow.

Raspberryandorangesorbet I just want to say thanks for not shutting up

I find this very hard having worked with a lot of people in prostitution. I know that they 'choose' it and frequently tell everyone when they are doing it that they enjoy it. However, I have worked with both women going into this work (I worked in homeless shelters) and coming out (rehab work).

I have had a woman crying, talking to me about wanting drugs but not wanting to prostitute herself for the first time that night. She had been offered work and couldn't turn it down. It sounds like a story but she was dead within a couple of years. A real woman. I also know her sister who, thankfully, managed to get clean, had a baby and is doing great. Still heart-broken over her sister though. Although, as she says, she would rather her sister was dead than still living in such misery.

We have been sold lies about the sex industry. Men were sold them because it is easier to spent your money when you can kid yourself that the woman wants to do it (why pay her then?). Why are women swallowing this horseshit?

Can't say I blame you, raspberry, but fear you may be fighting a losing battle. Still, you can but try. :)

Ok against the majoroity I'm taking the job, yes some women are exploited so are most people in this day and age, yes some are forced into it and some need it for drug money - I don't but money is money and survival is of the fittest.
I am a piece of meat to the men yes, but why not, I'm the one with the power, if they thinK they"ll get to shag me if they pay then tough - I won't be bought.

If men choose to cheat with working girls then yeah it sucks but not my fault cheaters will always cheat no matter what.

If women are forced to work again it sucks then again how many women who rather be a Sahm have to work because they need to make ends meet.

My job descrition is simple - serve drinks and be friendly with customers, and the pay is good, if I had to sleep with people I wouldn't do it, then again if I choose not to take it some other girl would.

Bottom line yes its not everyones taste and some unfortunate people have no choice but I do and it is.

I can't stop druggies selling themselves for drug money but at least I can put food on the table for my DCs.

Good luck with the new job!

You've thought about it and made your decision based on your needs right now.

Personally I'd do the same as you. A lot of people are very black and white about the sex industry, others see shades of grey between what you are doing and a drug addicted woman forced onto the streets.

OK OP - you will need to make a few adjustments though, you intend to keep it from your DCs, that means you intend to keep it quiet, that's not going to work, you are going to have to tell people what you do actually do otherwise what will get round is that you work in the sex industry (which you will, albeit not as a prostitute), and people will think the worse (because face it, that's far more interesting school gate gossip than who's getting a new kitchen).

Also, you need to face the fact that even when you do explain what you do, a lot of people will assume you are a prostitute- will your DH be ok with that? More importantly, if he is the major breadwinner, how will it affect his career if the rumour gets round work that his wife is a prostitute? (DH works for a bank, even though his colleagues might well visit strip clubs themselves, it would be career limiting for him to be married to someone working in one of those clubs) But will he be ok with generally being the butt of jokes.

You will be expected to arrange other woman being sold - you will be directly involved in this industry. If you are ok with it, then fine, but let's not pretend it's not going to happen. For that reason, I would distance myself from you/distance my DS from your DCs if I heard, I wouldn't want to socialise/expose my DS to anyone who works directly in the sex industry.

What hysterical nonsense!

Just don't tell anyone. Tell your friend to fuck off and do what you have to do.

ruled if this is osmehting you need to do for the cash then so be it.

But please be careful.

Don't enter into this lighltly thinking it's just a bit of fun and that you have the power and control over the naughty boys lusting after you.

It's not like that. The people with the power are the punters and the owners. The girls, be they prostitutes, dancers, hostesses, are just commodities and not respected.

Behind your back and often to your face you will recieve unpleasant treatment. Remember the whole point of being in a club like that is that the usual rules do not apply. You will need to be very very tough.

Oh and of course people will find out, after all you've already told one person.
And as you can see, the majority will not reat well.

Be prepared for that too.

What Raspberry said. I'd also add that you ought to have an exit plan, eg to do the job for a set period of time until your circumstances change so that you can seek other employment. And take a self-defence course to help keep yourself safe.

'I won't be bought'

Ha ha ha ha ha.

You are accepting money to appear in the wet dreams of saddo's in suits, your dress and appearance controlled by someone else.

You have already been bought.

Hmm, I have to agree with your friend here. Even if you are "hostessing", you will still be associated with the place. Who knows what will happen once you start? You might find that the "hostessing" money isn't enough, and move onto other things in the place. It all sounds a bit seedy to me.
I think if you have any self respect you wouldn't take the job.

I find the sex industry/ gentlemens Clubs etc really tacky and creepy but the OP sounds sensible and, presumably, will not be sucked into to the more sinister side of this type of buisness. Better to have her working there for the right reasons than some a vulnerable woman who would be ripe for exploitation.

I think the OP should see how it goes, enjoy the cash and, if need be, she can always quit if it's not working out.

Oh, sorry, didn't read the whole thread before posting. So you obviously have no self respect. Good luck.

you're.