to take this job

[ruledbyheart]

I have been offered a job that fits in nicely with my DCs working nights in a club the money is good the DCs won't know I'm gone its perfect, even my DP is happy with it as its something I want to do.

The only thing is it is in an adult club the naughty kind, I will only be hostessing and not doing anything naughty myself but my friend has gone bonkers and called me a slut tart and a prostitute, asking what my DC would think (who is gonna tell them?).

So I'm not drip feeding, I was offered the job but didn't apply for it - I know the owner, and it is a few towns over so doubtful anyone I know will be there (and tbh if their paying to go there it says more about them than me).

So WIBU to take this job because I'm a mum?

except selling crack is illegal and working in a strip joint is legal...

Take the job OP

Selling sex is actually illegal too. Which the op says in one of her responses happens in the club 'after hours'. The point is hostessing is the acceptable interface of a hideous industry. So make your choice but as my DGM would say 'lie down with dogs and you'll get fleas'.

I'm just pointing out that those clubs aren't illegal so the crack example you gave was not correct.

No Kanyo you are right. That I think they should be illegal is neither here nor there, I suppose.

All you would do would be to push it all further underground and make it worse for the women if it were made illegal because a lot of men would still want to see it and women would still do it.

The 'after hours' stuff is a smokescreen. If I worked in a normal bar and fucked punters for money that I had met at work and they came to the bar to meet me and my bar workers friends to fuck for money, you had better believe that the bar owner would have an opinion. If it was a 'classy' place I think I would be sacked. Not so here. I wonder why...

Kanyo I understand that point but I don't really think that lap and pole dancing being 'out there' really does anything for, for eg street prostitutes. I just think it adds a veneer of respectability and normalises men wishing To 'look'. Because hey, they're not buying, right? Just looking and tipping, so why would anyone be bothered about that ...

I just can't see how it would actually help the street prostitutes by making these
Places illegal. You might end up with someone who was just going to one of these places end up with a street prostitute instead.

I do realise some shady people go to these clubs but my fear is what if you did shut all the clubs? The shady people would still be around but using other similar services underground and with no one (bouncers/ security) to keep an eye on the women at all.

Well. Back to a drugs analogy, sorry. If its not ok to go to a strip club, then maybe a lot of men wouldn't ever think its ok to go to a prosititute. We are making the 'entry level' drug socially acceptable, when IMO it shouldn't be.

Not really sure why you posted tbh OP. You're clearly not against it personally or morally, you've discussed it with your husband and he's ok with it, you already associate with people involved in the sex industry and have been a customer for years anyway. What precisely were you hoping to achieve by posting?

Well it is relevant because to stop the seediness and the rape and the awful things getting pushed seeped underground I think that these places unfortunately have a place as long as blokes keep going and women keep doing it

An if there are these clubs (with at least some semblance of security) then there is a need for them to be staffed....

Hence the OP

Well I thought I'd update, I have now been doing it for a week and love the job and funnily enough not a single girl working there sells themselves the management doesn't allow payment for sex.

The club itself isn't a strip club it is a swingers club but its very clear there is a certain opinion that people jump to when an adult club is mentioned, maybe that is because they are wider known.
I didn't mention this prior as I know people on here and didn't want to out myself but now it seems relevent.

Well, I for one think that there's nothing wrong with it. The main issue is that you need to be really clear on how you handle if others find out and people will judge. Because there's nothing illegal in what you're doing and it's nobody else's business.

I was offered a job in the adult industry that I didn't take earlier in the year, that crossed a line for me (but mostly because it woudl have an impact on my other profession and I didn't want to damage that). But my OH thought it was a great idea and still thinks if I ever want to do it then I should!! I'd like to add I have a friend who works extensively in the adult industry, chose to do it and is very happy with her lifestyle.

That is the drip feed of all drip feeds. Of course there is a difference between a place that puts consenting adults in the same space as consenting adults and somewhere women are paid to service men. Sheesh.

I used to be militantly against the sex trade in all its forms and firmly believed that all women in the sex trade were being exploited, sold as meat, wouldn't do it unless desperate etc.

It took getting to know two girls (both confident, happy, militant feminists who didn't need the income) who were strippers/pole dancers to make me question how narrow and judgemental my views were. Both these girls adored the dancing, said their self esteem had sky rocketed and said they felt beautiful and empowered, not objectified. They claim that it gives them a feeling of power over men to attract them like they do and, far from feeling helpless, they feel like the controllers.

Now, I'm not saying I'm totally sold on this. I still feel deep down that they are deluding themselves (but have been told in no uncertain terms how patronising and arrogant it is of me to think that!) and I think it's relevant that both work in the same, fairly high end strip club. I still believe that the majority of the sex industry is a frightening and expolitative field.

However, the club where the OP has taken a job sounds like one of these high end ones and I think she'll be fine. I would do it if I needed the money I think. But then, to be honest, if I couldn't feed my kids I'd have no qualms about selling myself as a prostitute on a street corner every night either. I would have no morals if I couldn't provide for my children.

Please read this

Glad you're enjoying your job, OP. I found this thread too late, but I would have done the same.

I say go for it. I would!