Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this is a sign of the times we live in.....

396 replies

MidWeekSlump · 05/09/2012 23:56

My daughter today was telling us about her new high school... lots of stories. Then we got to lunch, her friend gets free dinners, when they went to get dinner (which cost my daughter £2), her friend complained as she had to pay 20p extra to add to her lunch as hers is free.

She said her friend started arguing with the dinner ladies about her free dinner and being a single parent family, then went on to say she shouldn't have to pay for the drink.

My daughter said she thought her friend was being silly as it was a lovely meal for only 20p a day if she wants extras....

Am I wrong for feeling sad that my daughters friend at 11 is already pulling the whole "I'm entitled to it" attitude out of the bag????

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 07/09/2012 13:20

I'd rather children chose the healthiest thing on the menu than the cheapest! Giving children "cheap food" gets people quite het-up on MN, some days!

wordfactory · 07/09/2012 13:25

DC on FSM don't have to choose the cheapest option. But nor can they have exactly what they want.

Juts like the vast majority of DC in the lunch queue.

alemci · 07/09/2012 13:32

i would rather my DC drank water not 20p drinks - probably healthier. i think the girl shouldn't have argued with the dinner lady about it and be grateful that she gets a free dinner in the first place.

justbogoffnow · 07/09/2012 13:34

Haven't read the whole thread, it's miserable stuff. Like many,
we're having it tough financially at the moment and aren't entitled to various benefits, but jeez I do hope the OP's child came back with some more interesting info about her first day in a new school.

ClippedPhoenix · 07/09/2012 13:35

Most people on here have made very valid points. Some people really need to wind their necks in. These people continue to ruin these boards and make for very unpleasant reading.

LurkingAndLearningLovesOrange · 07/09/2012 13:39

I think it's sad minimum wage is so low that in some cases, it's almost the same as those on benefits as those who genuinely cannot work. :(

Clever of the government though, creating a divide amongst the poor so no one unites against the greedy tax evaders. Angry

No FSM here, but the exact same thing happening in my country. Makes me want to scream. Angry

MarysBeard · 07/09/2012 13:49

I was hearing the other day that a FSM voucher in one school would only buy you a jacket potato & cheese or something for the £2.10. In my daughter's primary school they get a main course, pud & drink for £2.10 a day and I think that's what the voucher should cover - a main, square, hot meal, a pudding and a drink.

But I would agree with the OP that it is indicative of today's society- though not in the way that she thinks. It shows that in today's society some school meals are far too expensive, and the wider issue that growing numbers of people cannot afford to eat properly.

I think it's a bit like the Housing Benefit issue- the problem is lack of housing, poor quality housing, lack of security of tenure & high rents not the benefit itself.

MarysBeard · 07/09/2012 13:53

Also I don't get that "entitlement" is a bad thing. It depends what you feel you are entitled to.

wordfactory · 07/09/2012 13:57

mary the child in the OP was entitled to a hot main, a pudding and a drink. Just not the extra snack too.

Vagaceratops · 07/09/2012 13:58

be grateful that she gets a free dinner in the first place.

She is 11. Why should she have to be grateful for a warm meal.

Some of the responses on this thread are downright vicious.

MarysBeard · 07/09/2012 14:13

Ok, well in that case it's clearly a case of the child misunderstanding what she was entitled to on her first day at school! Understandable.

alemci · 07/09/2012 14:28

I think she should because most other kids have to pay for their meal Vagaceratops and perhaps some of their parents could do with this help. she should be appreciative because most other countries are not as generous. it sounds like she has picked this attitude from at home.

i don't think i am being particularly vicious just honest.

I think the 'entitlement' attitude isn't good (if that is what it was) as it may seep into other aspects of her schooling. it sounds like the OP does know a bit about her.

Flatbread · 07/09/2012 15:11

I said inexpensive, not the cheapest thing on the menu. Lots of inexpensive items on a menu are healthy (salads/soups). My point is, that when someone else is paying, I don't order lobster and champagne, even if that is what I have regularly. It is because I know someone else is paying and I should show consideration for their wallet. I was taught this early on by my parents.

In this case, there is no price difference in the meal, but the girl could show a bit of thoughtfulness by not taking a flavoured drink, as it is not necessary. Why take more from the state or anyone else than you need to?

Btw, this entitled, grabby attitude is not class specific. In my office, a boy from a very privileged background won a week's summer internship. Same age as this girl. Instead of learning interesting things and making the most of this really amazing opportunity, he spent most of his time drinking the free hot chocolate and making himself sick. Just because it was free. Completely lacking any social graces and no consideration that others were going out of their way to accommodate him.

So yes, from the OP's narrative, this girl seems entitled and it is a sign of our times. There are probably loads of grabby kids like her across the social spectrum.

TheBigJessie · 07/09/2012 15:26

Erm, are you saying that if there had been a price difference, and a greater range of options, that it would have been the girl's duty to pick a salad as a main? She is a growing child, not an adult woman on a diet.

limitedperiodonly · 07/09/2012 15:42

Looks like it jessie.

Still, it'll make a dent in the obesity epidemic.

Flatbread · 07/09/2012 15:58

No, I am not saying she should pick a salad. Just saying she shouldn't have assumed she is entitled to a free flavoured drink everyday along with her meal, and certainly not argued with the dinner lady about it.

Her mum could teach her child good manners, thoughtfulness and good health choices, and it would benefit the child in the long-run

tethersend · 07/09/2012 16:05

"My point is, that when someone else is paying, I don't order lobster and champagne, even if that is what I have regularly. It is because I know someone else is paying and I should show consideration for their wallet. I was taught this early on by my parents."

This is a school canteen, not The Ivy.

There shouldn't be 'expensive' or 'cheap' options. Everything should cost the same. In an ideal world, it should all be free, regardless of income.

Vagaceratops · 07/09/2012 16:10

My point is, that when someone else is paying, I don't order lobster and champagne

Because you are a grown up.

wordfactory · 07/09/2012 16:13

Don't be ridiculous.
DC shouldn't be allowed free reign whether they are on FSM or their parents are paying.

My DS can't just poll up and order a three course meal and a drink and a snack and fruit on top!!!!

He has to make a choice given his budget.

This is somehting we should be encouraging young people to do. Not removing their choices and infantalising them for fear of one child being able to afford 20p more than someone else.

No one needs a main meal, a pudding, a drink and a snack which was what the girl in the OP wanted!!! The Op's daughter couldn't have that; she had to make a choice.

bruffin · 07/09/2012 16:21

All children should get a hot meal, a dessert and a drink of their choice

that is what the girl was allowed, but she wanted a snack as well.

tethersend · 07/09/2012 16:49

Nobody is removing their choices, wordfactory. They can choose what to eat.

I'm saying that the choices should all cost the same.

"No one needs a main meal, a pudding, a drink and a snack"

So why are the catering company offering them then? The snack seems wholly surplus to requirements, so get rid. Although that would eat into the profit margin, so I won't hold my breath.

TheBigJessie · 07/09/2012 17:05

After 15 pages, I would dearly like to know what the snack and drink were!

wordfactory · 07/09/2012 17:11

See I disagree. Some food costs more than others.

DC should be encouraged to choose different items within their budget and according to their tastes and appetite.

So if you want soup and a roll and a main, you probably can't afford and wouldn't want the pudding.
Or you might chose the soup plus pudding and an extra piece of fruit.

wordfactory · 07/09/2012 17:13

Akso just because somehting is there, doesn't mena you have to have it. I hope we're all teaching our DC that.

MarysBeard · 07/09/2012 17:17

I think schools should provide a choice according to dietary requirements (veggie, kosher etc) but not a cafeteria style menu. It's like pubs that have a massive menu but it's all prepared in a factory in Milton Keynes & reheated for your pleasure Sad

Swipe left for the next trending thread