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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is a sign of the times we live in.....

396 replies

MidWeekSlump · 05/09/2012 23:56

My daughter today was telling us about her new high school... lots of stories. Then we got to lunch, her friend gets free dinners, when they went to get dinner (which cost my daughter £2), her friend complained as she had to pay 20p extra to add to her lunch as hers is free.

She said her friend started arguing with the dinner ladies about her free dinner and being a single parent family, then went on to say she shouldn't have to pay for the drink.

My daughter said she thought her friend was being silly as it was a lovely meal for only 20p a day if she wants extras....

Am I wrong for feeling sad that my daughters friend at 11 is already pulling the whole "I'm entitled to it" attitude out of the bag????

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 06/09/2012 00:17

or perhaps she know when she gets home there will be limited food.

i am so glad you don't see this problem, that perhaps this maybe her only decent meal in the day or the reason the parent may have a meal.

don't you read the news 1/4 of parent are going without food to feed there children this is news out today.

a sign of the times i agree but not in your world

omfgkillmenow · 06/09/2012 00:17

at primary the juice gets put on the table and they get either a starter or a pud. All get them same, free or paid. If the high school offers extra to those who can afford it then it sound discriminatory to me. Your daughter and her friend should have the same choices, optional extras should not be allowed. OTOH thats life, the richer get more and the poorer get less. But shouldn't be for food IMO.

thefirstmrsrochester · 06/09/2012 00:18

Kids here (north lanarkshire) get their 'free dinner' allowance credited to their swipe cards. Meal deal is £1.80. Main, dessert & a drink (and there are varied options). Anything else is additional.
As already said, maybe the young lady in question didn't understand her entitlement?

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 00:18

did your dd not offer to lend her the 20p?

tethersend · 06/09/2012 00:20

"It's also stupid and divisive of the school to have this kind of two-tier system of dinners; either dinners are free, or they are paid for at a flat rate."

This.

tethersend · 06/09/2012 00:21

This is what happens when school dinners are provided by profit making private companies. They are trying to make extra money out of children who receive free school meals. I'd reserve your disgust for them TBH, OP.

Trioofprinces · 06/09/2012 00:22

Actually OP I think YANBU. At DS's new senior school it is very clear that FSM kids get £2 credit a day to their school meals account. They then go through the finger scan and 'pay' the same way as everyone else. No-one would know who are FSM except the office.

The £2 is enough to get a reasonable meal. Surely the FSM system is to enable kids to eat a decent meal not to enable them to eat all the extras they may fancy. I'm sure DS could spend a good few pounds a day but today he only spent 50p, and I will be expecting him to stick to around £2 a day. Just because it's my money doesn't mean I want him to spend it all!

Someone clearly hasn't explained the system to the girl involved. I do agree though that many kids would not be so upfront or frankly argumentative. It does sound like her attitude was a bit off.

Flojo1979 · 06/09/2012 00:25

Jezz u don't get it do u!
If u r on free school meals then u r on benefits, if u r on benefits then UI ain't short of money! (unless u r trying to pay a mortgage out of it).
It's the ones that have to pay the £2 that might be struggling, and they see their friends on free meals, getting a full meal and their £2 or sometimes much less might only buy them a plate of chips.
Why r u all so patronising towards ppl on benefits? When is this country going to realise that its not the ones on benefits in council houses that need the help?

dolallylass · 06/09/2012 00:26

YANBU! Get this tho my DD (whose lunch I pay for in full even though I'm a single parent) bought pizza for lunch and it was BOGOF! Wtf?? She said I told the man I couldn't manage two and my friends all had food. Good girl! Grin

McHappyPants2012 · 06/09/2012 00:27

trioof, that is the point.

my DS don't get FSM, but i wouldn't want any other child getting less than him becaue i could afford that 20p.

at the age of 11 school meal should not set a social divide

Startailoforangeandgold · 06/09/2012 00:28

She won't have paid at primary at all. I can understand her being out out she now does. I bet the extra 20p comes out of her pocket money and DCs never like parting with that.

Startailoforangeandgold · 06/09/2012 00:29

Put out

ShirelyKnort · 06/09/2012 00:30

Fucking hell.

Is this the bottom? Are we truly here at the point at which we are calling children entitled to a fucking DRINK?

Shame. A great big pile of shame. On. You.

SuperB0F · 06/09/2012 00:30

How on earth do you know her 'attitude' is off? It's shit enough being a kid starting senior school- as far as they are concerned, their dinner is free. Most kids don't want to have to worry about the intricacies of working out what they are quietly allowed to have. They don't want to draw attention to themselves.

There is a thread here on child poverty. Some people should read it.

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 00:32

well said shirley

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 00:33

although, i suspect this is not the bottom; and there is worse to come yet Sad

ShirelyKnort · 06/09/2012 00:36

What is left?

Truly? What is fucking left? AIBU that the homeless child takes food from my bin? I paid for that food and even though I have enough to throw away I still resent that child taking it to survive? AIBU?

Flojo1979 · 06/09/2012 00:36

This reply has been deleted

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LastnightDNAruinedmylife · 06/09/2012 00:36

YABVU.

They are 11.

Good Lord.

Or where you actually looking for this?

ShirelyKnort · 06/09/2012 00:38

We are talking about a child needing a DRINK.

I am literally appalled.

tethersend · 06/09/2012 00:39

Every child should get free school meals, IMO.

Flojo1979 · 06/09/2012 00:39

Yes shirley YABU, totally not the point the OP made. Would said child be scratching around in bins? Probably not. No one is disputing that every child should be entitled to a hot meal every day. But the majority of child poverty are those that don't fit in to the 'benefits' band.

thecook · 06/09/2012 00:41

OP >>>>>>> Biscuit

AllThingsOrange · 06/09/2012 00:41

She said her friend started arguing with the dinner ladies about her free dinner and being a single parent family, then went on to say she shouldn't have to pay for the drink.

As an 11 yr old I would have had more respect than to argue with the dinner ladies.

FWIW bringing the single parent family line into it does reek of ^entitled. Her parent is to blame though IMO.

ShirelyKnort · 06/09/2012 00:43

I'm ignoring those posters who are spewing the usual disgusting bile about benefit claimants.

It makes me feel better to imagine, just for a moment, that I do not share the same space with the lowest common denominators of our society... And I'm speaking of those who would begrudge a child a drink AND a snack while at school based on their families economics.

Lowest. Of. The. Low.