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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think this is a sign of the times we live in.....

396 replies

MidWeekSlump · 05/09/2012 23:56

My daughter today was telling us about her new high school... lots of stories. Then we got to lunch, her friend gets free dinners, when they went to get dinner (which cost my daughter £2), her friend complained as she had to pay 20p extra to add to her lunch as hers is free.

She said her friend started arguing with the dinner ladies about her free dinner and being a single parent family, then went on to say she shouldn't have to pay for the drink.

My daughter said she thought her friend was being silly as it was a lovely meal for only 20p a day if she wants extras....

Am I wrong for feeling sad that my daughters friend at 11 is already pulling the whole "I'm entitled to it" attitude out of the bag????

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 06/09/2012 18:42

A child spouting their rights re benefits doesnt bode well for the future

Do you really think so happymummy?

That's exactly the kind of child I want in my future world.

But if you don't question things and are bringing your children up to follow suit, then go ahead. Who am I to force my tedious views about asserting rights on anyone who doesn't want them?

It would be cheaper for a start.

FrothyOM · 06/09/2012 18:51

"FSM are the same basic meal option children get for free. Anything extra paid for is for everyone. "

that is not the point. The point is the girl didn't appear to know that and questioned it. Nothing wrong in being upset and questioning something as long as she wasn't abusive - which I suspect she wasn't or the OP would probably have stated this. My DDs school does drinks of juice with the FSM.

And she is 11 FFS!!!

LineRunner · 06/09/2012 19:00

That child could be a barrister of the future.

LineRunner · 06/09/2012 19:01

I can imagine Helena Kennedy at age 11 querying the school dinners allocations policy.

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 19:11

Would I get banned if I gently implied that someone had been pondering upon an updated 21st century version of a notable Victorian classic and trying it out on Mumsnet?

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 19:39

jessie i posted a link to photo from film of said classic, earlier in the thread! Grin

MNHQ
OliviaLMumsnet · 06/09/2012 19:41

@TheBigJessie

Would I get banned if I gently implied that someone had been pondering upon an updated 21st century version of a notable Victorian classic and trying it out on Mumsnet?

No. But there would probably be raised eyebrows. Hmm

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 20:00

I'd better not, then.

Lovely weather today. I've caught up on the washing. Oh, funny story for you. At dinner today, a toddler asked me for "more". It made me proud of my cooking! I said, "More, boy?" He said, "more!" And bounced up and down excitedly, because he was so delighted I'd understood.

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 20:05

imonthefone Great minds think alike!

limitedperiodonly · 06/09/2012 20:18

You mean I've been fooled?

At least I can update my spreadsheet.

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 06/09/2012 20:20

thebigjessie did you charge him 20p?

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 20:33

Yes. I deducted it from the child benefit. When it runs out, he's put on gruel and water until the government's next payment.

limitedperiodonly I've no evidence. I kind of wish I could believe this thread couldn't be true. It's so horrid.

TheBigJessie · 06/09/2012 20:36

I mean: I wish I couldn't believe this thread.

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 06/09/2012 20:38

Good. You must keep him in line.

People have always been horrid about people who are on benefits.

It could be them next. Never thought I'd be on benefits. Will be off them by the end of the year.

People were vile to me when I was a child. Like it was my fault my father buggered off and left my mother holding the baby. He came back and then did the same to her 8 years later. I was called all sorts of names at school.

It saddens me that people are still so small minded today.

Those who abuse the benefits system are a tiny % of people who actually claim it.

FrothyOM · 06/09/2012 20:42

The Big jessie Grin

FamiliesShareGerms · 06/09/2012 20:48

Good on the girl to stand up for herself. Bad to be rude (if indeed she was) to the dinner ladies, esp on day 1.

School needs to be clear what is and isn't included in the FSM. Arguing that you should get a drink because you're in a single parent family is entitled behaviour. And there really is no shame in drinking just water - it's all that's on offer at DS's primary school, it's all I drink during the day.

DS's school keeps sending out requests for anyone eligible to claim FSM, as they get additional funding, so it's almost a civic duty to claim

FrothyOM · 06/09/2012 20:49

The next Helena Kennedy or entitled, feckless scum? You can read second hand information how you like. Sad so many people judge her harshly just because her mum is on benefits.

SoSoMamanBebe · 06/09/2012 21:14

Christ, they are NOT judging because her mum is on benefits, they are judging because she seemed greedy in wanting more than others and thinking that she didn't have to worry about paying it and that someone else should.

It was her sense of entitlement, bolshy or not, that has raised eyebrows.

And yes, blanketly expecting everything for free is a sense of entitlement.

Flojo1979 · 06/09/2012 21:44

Those who abuse the benefits system are a tiny % of people who actually claim it.

Can u post the link of where u got this from? Cos I'm getting sick of all the assumptions flying around here at the mo.

I hope u r right, tho is does seem naive.
But its the system that's at fault, not the ppl within it.
All children should get a hot meal, a dessert and a drink of their choice, they r stuck with water the rest of the day so why not. Additional snacks should be extra.

tethersend · 06/09/2012 21:49

FloJo, the amount of money that goes unclaimed is more than the government's own estimate of the amount lost in benefit fraud.

Funnily enough, nobody harps on about people not claiming what they are entitled to.

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 22:01

mamanbebe
christ, you think children raised on benefits/ in poverty are the entitled ones?!

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 22:04

entitled to what? entitled to expect the adults around her, that are supposed to take care of her well-being, to make sure she has food and drink, is not treated differently to her peers and is not humiliated??

I think children are entitled to that

imonthefone · 06/09/2012 22:06

she is a CHILD

tethersend · 06/09/2012 22:12

When did 'entitled' become an insult anyway?

tittytittyhanghang · 06/09/2012 22:21

YANBU. Did the girl know that she had £2 allowance on her lunch? If she did then she should have bought only what the £2 afforded. If she didn't, then she should have apologised and put something back. I am assuming £2 is the average amount that children take for school dinners (or what the school would charge for prepaid school dinners).

I was on FSM when i was at high school, at that time everyone on FSM was given a ticket (which had to be collected in front of everyone at playtime). It's worth was 70p back then. It was enought to get a hot meal, a drink and a dessert. It was also what a school meal cost in primary school and was used as the benchmark for most parents, as in most of my friends got around 70p cash from their parents for their dinner.

FSM are not an eat all you want buffet. A hot savoury meal followed by desert, with a drink or water and a snack is sufficient.