Does anyone else think this is weird behaviour?

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DSS2 has made loads of friends with the other children in the street, but there's one particular boy (about 7?) whose behaviour seems really strange and possibly ASD. These are what DP & I have seen/experienced since the start of this week.

1. Monday -We were getting really to go out, so DSS2 had come in and was getting changed. Boy comes to the back door, asks DP if DSS2 is coming back out, and is told no. Boy then spots DSS2's water pistols on the kitchen counter and says "Can I play with DSS2's water pistols?".

1. Again on Monday - We'd come back and I decided to pop to the corner shop for a treat. On my way back, I was halfway through the lolly I'd bought & Boy spots me. "What have you got?" "A lolly." "Can I have some?" "No!"

1. Tuesday - DP is taking DSS2 to his mother's for contact night after school. Boy is in a different school and is walking up the hill with his DM and siblings (including one in buggy) while DP & DSS2 are walking downhill on the other side. Boy spots DSS2 , shouts his name to get his attention and immediately runs off the pavement to get to DSS2 without checking the traffic (it's a fairly busy road) while his DM tries to grab him to pull him back while still holding the buggy.

1. Tuesday again - I'm home alone & BFing DD (who was being really shouty as we'd not long got in ourselves and she was really hot) while DP is doing shopping in town after dropping off DSS2. All of a sudden, there's a loud knocking at the back door. I assume it's one of DSS2's friends (got a clear view from the sofa without lifitng my head up really high which means DD unlatches) so I ignore it as I'm dealing with DD and we're constantly telling them that DSS2 is never home on a Tuesday evening. Then there's this almighty bang - either the door was kicked or headbutted to make that noise. I lift myself up and see Boy at the door how is continuing to knock. I scream at the door that DSS2 isn't home, but Boy continues to for another couple of minutes before getting bored and leaving.

Is this normal behaviour?

Just. Sounds like he hasn't quite grasped some social boundaries yet, not asking adults for some of their lolly, not banging continuously on other people's doors.

Maybe noone has ever told him, after all it's not always something you'd necessarily remember to tell a child is it. Ds2 was told a few years ago to knock twice and if you get no answer come home because he had a friend who would bang for 10 mins which was annoying.

Maybe he's a little more immature than other children his age, they don't all mature at the same rate, some take longer than others.

I don't know, 7 year olds can indeed be fruitloops, as mentioned upthread.

Still, my 7 year old would do none of these things.

A boy in our street does exactly those things (and more) and he has just been diagnosed as autistic. He never "gets" things, iykwim, he does the banging the door thing, and will come back 5 minutes later! And then again.

not saying the boy in the op is though.

My 7 yr old would do this (not the banging the door) but all the kids around here are close, play with each other all the time so it's normal for them to be in and out of each others houses.

If there was someone new to play with ds2 would definitely be round wanting to get to know him.

I suppose if it's not 'normal' for where you live then it would becannoying perhaps, but I think all kids do this as soon as they're allowed out to play on their own (aged 7 ish)

Our neighbour's son is 12, and he behaves MUCH worse than this. Once I told him he couldn't come in our house for some reason, and he climbed in through the front window! He climbs to the top of our 100ft trees, he climbs all over the roof of our playhouse, he has even thrown DS1 off the top bunk of his bed. DS1 is only 8, has mild ASD and is often left aghast at the antics of this boy. He wouldn't dream of behaving so badly. But the boy next door is just spoilt and badly behaved - his parents are divorced, they're wealthy and I think they indulge him to make up for not being together any more. They have had to literally drag him home kicking and screaming before now when he refused to go back for dinner. He's in a private school, so he must behave better there or he would have been expelled by now. But it makes your 7-year-old neighbour seem positively adorable in comparison!

I have to say that I've never come across another child apart from my DSSs in my adult life who has asked for a lick of my ice cream, never mind one that I'm halfway through. Don't think I came across anyone like that when I was a child either.

The boy in question is the 2nd of 3 or 4 afaik. I've been told by other neighbours that his older sister has a rep for being quite cheeky with adults although I haven't experienced this myself (just taken DD outside for some air before sleep and the sister was quite polite and asking about DD). I've only recently worked out who their DM is and I'm on casual acquaintance terms with her (chatting in the shop/street). If I get a chance, I might ask her about him asking to take DSS2's toys when DSS2 isn't coming out to play.

I apologise to everyone I may have offended re. wondering about ASD (esp. Sock, CakeBump & Raspberry and others; if you really want to know why I'm thinking that, it's mainly after reading many articles in newspapers & magazines and several threads on here about ASD, and some of his behaviour sounds like what I've read about.

KnowingMe - it's same boy. Yes, I have difficulty understanding small children - even when I was little I didn't understand most other children and used to spend most of my time with adults. Since I started my maternity leave & DD was born, my dealing-with-small-children ability has been stretched to breaking point

Personally, the last few days have been a nightmare re. ExP and the mortgage I'm stuck on with him (courts & police about to get involved). Had a rubbish appointment at the solicitors just before getting home with hot, hungry, tired & very shouty 15wk old DD, and I really didn't need some kid banging on the door for 10 minutes while I was trying to calm her down. I know some of you will think that's a crap excuse, but that's all I've got.

Some children with ASD might behave like this. Not understanding social conventions generally is part of any difficulty, although having said that, children with ASD are little individuals with their own set of needs to be addressed.

For children with ASD (and I guess all children who have difficulties with social boundaries), the key is to be very clear about what behaviour is acceptable and why. Hopefully if it is ASD the adults in his life will be well aware of his needs and be using strategies to manage them.

You could try talking to him, just about things that are stressful for/ affecting you. E.g answer the door and explain that you don't want him to bang the door like that because it upsets your baby. If you don't say he won't necessarily know not to do it again. You could also say that your son prefers not to lend his toys unless he is at home so you cannot let him play with them. Just give an explanation for things. Whatever his difficulty, that might help!

Hi Raspberry - DP is very supportive, but is really not happy with my ExP as the situation is likely to fuck up any possibility of us buying a house together. Far too long a story to get into here, but basically there's a lot of stress.

Very gracious of you to apologise OP

Hope you get things sorted re your EX and mortgage soon.

op thanks for the apology and i do understand and hope things improve for you all

Well no, the OP hasn't been very "politically" correct with the wording but blimey it's really nothing to get any knickers in a twist about is it

Well there's where I differ from you, I can see how offensive it may be to parents of children with ASD and you cant.

I know adults who ask for bite of this and that...I say no too...but some people don't mind. Maybe the boy comes from a sharing house where they all bite one anothers fish fingers or something.

I work with children of this age so see a v wide variety of behaviour - I would describe him as confident and outgoing ! He has learnt to ask for what he wants - that's not always a bad thing especially if he deals well with being told no ! He will Probably end up being a top exec/business man

I think he needs very serious and immediate medical intervention.

And a lolly.

this is an AIBU thread gorne good Hully the last thing it needs is for you to start being all frivolous.

I agree with OptimisticPessimist and Socknickingpixie.
My Aspie is now nearly adult, he rather enjoys not being mundane. I often read threads where people are ranting on about how difficult their beloved children have become since transforming into teenagers, my two were and are a delight.
Their behaviour certainly is weird compared to the majority of teens mentioned here.
I have no idea if the child in the OP is on the spectrum or not, neither does she. If he's annoying you, set clear boundaries and keep them. Works for a wide range of children who display annoying behaviour for whatever reasons.

Oh soz

thats better

All the better for hoiking, with cantilevered bra.

Thank you for apologising, I always worry that other parents think this way about my DS and so you can see why reading threads like this would be upsetting.

In this situation I would probably insist on simple boundaries eg 'dont come to the back door, use the front door'

If the boy keeps knocking you could try using a visual message eg if X is outside the door then DSS2 is 'at home' if not then he isnt.

It is difficult when neighbour children dont seem to have the same boundaries.

I have a 7 yr old who has AS and ADHD and to be honest the other 7 year old friends are no different when it comes to wanting their friends out to play and knock, knock, knocking till someone answers the door to tell them different. Especially if someone has been seen through the window or they have seen you come in. They dont understand the etiquet of us parents being tired after a long day or fed up of repeatedly answering the door to so many and tbh its rude not to answer they are not actually doing anything wrong. Kicking the door yes that is wrong but then the boy needs to be told knock and wait patiently no kicking but its hard for children to not want to keep knocking for a yes or no answer. I dont see a problem.

Asking for a lick of a lolly. Havent you ever said "oooh they smell good! can I pinch a chip?" from one of your friends? or ooh! yum give us a bite of that cream cake! obviously you are not going to and its only in jest and is of course followed by "hands off the buns mine" :) Again I dont see a problem.

He could well share a bit of his mum or dads ice cream on holiday who knows. Maybe its just he includes all adults as being the same as his parents due to him being trusting and young but I dont call it "wierd"

DS cant go out to play anymore due to some psycho setting a dog on him for fun and games and he is too trusting but the NT ones despite being told they can play indoors but he cant go out will still chance it and ask if he can come out to play.

I dont see anything in it...

He sounds very rude and bad mannered, not to mention pushy. I have a 7 year old and she has/would never behave like that

My dd is 8 & if i found out she was behaving like this she would get told off. Its not normal behaviour for a child.

Asking someone if they can have what they are eating, asking to play with toys when u are going out, banging the door.

Thats not normal.