Does anyone else think this is weird behaviour?

[Enfyshedd]

DSS2 has made loads of friends with the other children in the street, but there's one particular boy (about 7?) whose behaviour seems really strange and possibly ASD. These are what DP & I have seen/experienced since the start of this week.

1. Monday -We were getting really to go out, so DSS2 had come in and was getting changed. Boy comes to the back door, asks DP if DSS2 is coming back out, and is told no. Boy then spots DSS2's water pistols on the kitchen counter and says "Can I play with DSS2's water pistols?".

1. Again on Monday - We'd come back and I decided to pop to the corner shop for a treat. On my way back, I was halfway through the lolly I'd bought & Boy spots me. "What have you got?" "A lolly." "Can I have some?" "No!"

1. Tuesday - DP is taking DSS2 to his mother's for contact night after school. Boy is in a different school and is walking up the hill with his DM and siblings (including one in buggy) while DP & DSS2 are walking downhill on the other side. Boy spots DSS2 , shouts his name to get his attention and immediately runs off the pavement to get to DSS2 without checking the traffic (it's a fairly busy road) while his DM tries to grab him to pull him back while still holding the buggy.

1. Tuesday again - I'm home alone & BFing DD (who was being really shouty as we'd not long got in ourselves and she was really hot) while DP is doing shopping in town after dropping off DSS2. All of a sudden, there's a loud knocking at the back door. I assume it's one of DSS2's friends (got a clear view from the sofa without lifitng my head up really high which means DD unlatches) so I ignore it as I'm dealing with DD and we're constantly telling them that DSS2 is never home on a Tuesday evening. Then there's this almighty bang - either the door was kicked or headbutted to make that noise. I lift myself up and see Boy at the door how is continuing to knock. I scream at the door that DSS2 isn't home, but Boy continues to for another couple of minutes before getting bored and leaving.

Is this normal behaviour?

Mine would be too shy, and too polite if nothing else.

Inhibition in these situations is what I'd regard as normal - asking an adult who is not closely related to the child for some of their food is very strange.

But lljkk calling a 7 year old "weird" and "not normal" and then speculating on possible LD's is a bit.... unreconstructed at best.

You screamed at the door?! Not called, or even shouted, but screamed?

I have a sone(now grown up) and he has had all kinds of freinds over the years and you have described "normal" behaviour .
just sounds like a rather annoying boy tbh,
doesn't sound like either of the friends ds had that had ASD

Where did she call him weird? The behaviour is not normal - I think that was implied, yes.

He doesnt have stranger social boundaries he has different social boundaries....maybe his mum is the welcoming sort?

I have no experience of ASD

Then why assume ASD? and what if he did have an ASD? what then?

FWIW, my DS is 8.5, has Asperger's and would do all of those things - I would class it as part of his ASD because he has no inhibitions or awareness of the social rules that would mark those out as undesirable behaviour. I wouldn't say that all children who demonstrate such behaviour necessarily have ASD. If that makes sense.

I don't see how it's any of your business whether he does have ASD or not anyway, tbh.

*strange not stranger

What EdMcDunnough said. It doesn't sound normal to me, and I've never met a child who behaves like this. I'm not sure why his parents are allowing him to run around making such a nuisance of himself.

I really don't understand what your problem is, or what the point of this thread is. He's harming you how?

But if it was ASD what would you be planning on doing? Marching round to his parents house with a CAMHS leaflet?

DS would display all of those behaviours too, he also has ASD but we prefer to describe his 'weird' (charming btw! ) behaviours as slightly quirky.

EdMcDunnough, it is in the thread title.

Well no, the OP hasn't been very "politically" correct with the wording but blimey it's really nothing to get any knickers in a twist about is it.

Ooops forgot for a moment that this was AIBU a place where probably very "normal" people turn into "weird" hoiked up judgy panted banshees

This sounds similar to some of the kids that live over the road from me.
I don't think this behaviour makes him weird or having any kind of SN, simply that he hasn't learnt proper social boundaries.

You need to be firm and kind OP particularly if he is friends with our little one.

Personally I would teach my DD not to ask strangers for licks of their lolly!

Panda, thankyou but I meant that the behaviour was referred to as weird but not the child himself. To me that is different. iyswim

YABU to be so judgey. Tell the boy when he is being rude, don't be shouty but let him know when he is being naughty and give the lad some boundries.

I can not understand why you would post this as a AIBU and talk about ASD. That is quite odd behaviour.

Struggling to see why it would concern you if he did happen to be ASD.

In any case, be reassured that it's probably normal behaviour for this boy and when you meet him in 10 years time you'll find he's become one of those likeable, confident, 'cheeky chappy' sort of teenagers.

Sounds normal. How do you think kids become socially aware, they are usually very forthright at 6 or 7? The only bit I find odd is you screaming at him through the door tbh.

cake i can totally understand why its irked you - as another mum who constantly has her dc's described as weird or abnormal (with acompanied smacked arse face) the thread title and the asd thing bugged me as well. but perhaps like me your super sensative about the subject.

op just so you know often parents of asd kids do tend to be very about this type of thing we cant help it,its perfectly normal for the suituation,its hard to explain exactly why but its kinda like a jab at how our kids are,im sure most of the time its totally not intended but the times when its compleatly intended and personally directed at our own dc's or asd in genral can make us forget that often its not.

So even if we do all decree this to be "weird" what then? What are you planning on doing? I can't see why this is impacting on you at all.

Does he fit the criteria outlined by the DSM or ICD manuals?

If so he may be ASD, if a Paed or Psych agrees.

But kids are kids- some ore a bit rude, some struggle at times. What you do is shrug. And there's no point shoving your own oddities about sharing onto a child, they won;t understand about projection and the like.

But....

if the child is one who formerly used to grab stuff, his Mum might have said ask first; in which case he's fine. I have 4 boys, 3 ASD, and I;d only worry about a visiting child who DIDN'T ask in all honesty.

Lolly likcing etc is down to familial norms; unless you issues the child with a booklet of your own social rules well, that's life isn't it?

Of course it's weird. Kids are weird. All kids.

You say it like it's a bad thing

mydog

judging by the local kids to me this isn't too abnormal, I wouldn't be jumping to any conclusions re:SN quite yet, be kind but firm in your dealings. Btw my child does have mild SN, so it can be hurtful to think of a child like yours being deemed weird, I can see why some posters have been upset by this thread.

You sound pretty nasty OP - why can't you just accept all kids are different and so what if he has ASD? It is called a spectrum for a reason, and we're all on it somewhere!
1 and 2 sound like not untypical impulsive behaviour, 3 is a little strange if he has learned the rules of the road, and 4 with you 'screaming' at the door makes you sound really rude. 7 year olds frequently forget things...so YABU