To want DH to come to bed at the same time as me?

[loveroflife]

I like to be in bed ready to go to sleep by 11pm to get up with ds at 7am. I NEED my 8 hours, I am god awful without it. However, DH never comes to bed before 12.30am, it really is making me very tired and grumpy.

He says 11pm is too early for him (he gets up at 6.30am) and doesn't need as much sleep as I do. I can't go to sleep before him though as he keeps me awake banging about, lights, brushing teeth etc. Our ds is in the other room and the sofa is not suitable for him to sleep on so these are not options! He is only watching tv, but argues it's his 'down time' and doesn't want to go to bed so early.

I really can't sleep until we are both in bed together, have tried to fall asleep before he comes to bed, but even if I do he wakes me up again.

AIBU?

This is like the opposite of the post in chat...

Ughgh, I feel your pain OP.

We compromise by DP trying hard not to make noise after I've gone to bed if he stays up (difficult in a creaky squeaky 2 bed flat) or sometimes he comes to bed a the same time as me for half an hour, so we can chat, cuddle etc, then I go to sleep and he goes off to do whatever it is these crazy non-sleepers do from midnight to 3am!

Not sure if your other half does this, but it is U to not be able to get up in the morning because he's gone to bed late.

Sleep well!!!

So, did he come to bed at 1130pm as promised?

if his niose wakes you up or keeps you awake, are you really tired at that time or is 11pm a habit?. i go to bed at 10ish and have no idea when dh gets into bed because i am zonked within 30 seconds. sometimes we set off for bed at the same time but i can be asleep by the time he has brushed teeth.

It sounds like you can't relax until he is in bed as you are always waiting for the noise to start. I struggle to relax if I know someone will be coming in later, so I can understand this. So you cannot get to sleep because you are waiting for tonight's bravura performance, you are not getting enough sleep, which makes it harder to relax when you do get to bed the next night as you wait for the night's performance, so you are short of sleep again, and getting more and more worn down and more and more tired...

Do you ever get a lie in? It's not the healthiest way to top up sleep but it can help.

I refuse to sleep with OH and I sleep on one of those foam flop out beds downstairs, like this It is the only thing that keeps me sane. Could something similar work so that your OH has that in the living room. If you are more up for 'romance' after decent sleep he may be willing to cooperate.

I also second going to sleep earlier so that you are deeper under and less likely to be disturbed when he does come to bed. That has also helped me.

People who are light sleepers actually need to put some effort into adjusting their sleeping habits. The world does not revolve around your need to sleep more than anyone else in the house does. Yes your H should be quieter, but you should be trying earplugs, eyemask etc as well.

"YANBU - there is nothing worse than trying to sleep in an empty bed with your partner downstairs,"

Really?