To be fuming with dd's school for letting her go out the gate alone?

[MsBrown]

I was standing at the infant doors today waiting on dd coming out of school at hometime. When it got to about five past three, i started to get worried as her class is normally out as soon as the bell goes.

Then a mum walked up to me and asked if my little girl has a pink spotty bag, to which i replied yes, and she said my dd was making her way across the senior yard towards the main gate.

I ran off towards the gate, still couldn't see dd anywhere, so i started calling on her. Another mum came up and told me she's just seen a little girl walking down the street calling on her mummy.

I ran out and thankfully caught up with dd. She was walking along the path next to the main road, calling 'mummy'.

I told her off and explained she's never to do that again.

What had happened was she didn't see me so went looking for me. And the reason i couldn't see her coming out the infant doors is because all the parents flock round the doors at hometime, making it near on impossible to see the children. DD obviously just slipped right past me. I told her that if she doesn't see me again, she's to stay at the doors or go back into school - not wander off.

AIBU to be fuming with the school. IMO the teacher should be keeping an eye on her pupils, making sure they're going to the right adult. There's been a few occassions where my dd's wandered around the infant yard looking for me at hometime as she can't see me because of all the other mums and dads in the crowd, and i can't see her because of the same reasons.

I'm also angry with the other adults for not stopping dd and trying to help her. She was in obvious distress and is only 4. If i saw an upset 4yo walking along a main road, i'd try and help them. Not leave them to it.

So, should i complain to the school tomorrow or let it go? I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened had i not caught up with her.

In reception we used to stand at the door and let children out and watch them go to their parents. It was a joint class and we had 40 children! It took a while but safety first.

They would get a bad ofsted report if this was seen.

YANBU

Complain and use the word 'safeguarding' a lot.

Yes, you should talk to someone at the school (although not the class teacher while she's trying to keep an eye on all the children!). This could have potentially serious consequences and I can't believe it's not been raised before.
When mine were in Infants, there was a BIG semi circle on the playground and all parents were asked to stand behind that. The staff then brought the children out in a line, and each child had to wait until the teacher had seen their adult.... after the 1st week or so it worked a lot quicker than you'd think as 99% of parents stand in the same place and you get used to it very quickly. However, because of the space, it meant the staff could see the parents and the parents could see if their child was inexplicably walking off in the wrong direction.
It worked so well, I introduced it to the school I was teaching at , where it also went down well, as everyone could see the sense in it.
Would it be worth suggestion something positive like that, rather than just going in to complain ?

Good idea back for good. They could
Put PE cones out maybe?

You should make a complaint to the headteacher. It should be a policy at that age to do a hand over. At this age I always did a handover literally handing the child to the parent/carer at the classroom door.

You should complain, at our school no reception child is allowed to leave the classroom until the teacher has seen the adult collecting, they also have a second member of staff on the playground gate to ensure no child can leave without an adult.

They are responsible for ensuring that each child leaves with an identified adult.

I'm also very shocked that no other parent thought to make sure she was ok / return her to the school.

At DS's school, the younger children are let out the door one by one and if the teacher can't see the parent, the child is kept back by the door.

Now that DS is Y4, they just come out the door regardless. If the kids can't see a parent though, they often hang back around the door anyway, probably out of habit, until they do see their parent. Not a bad thing, really [smil]

Omg that is shocking, talk to the headteacher as something need to be changed

YANBU, that's terrible!

I've got to say this is dangerous anyway. Sometimes in a new class it's hard to remember the parents and easy to get them mixed up, for example two mums with long black hair thinking oh that's x's mum when it's actually y's.

If children where let out one at a time they would see that x didn't go to the parent and realise their mistake and bring the child back. But if they are all let run out they won't be able to see that x doesn't have her mum there until y's mum comes up and asks for y or x's mum actually turns up (after being stuck in traffic)

Very dangerous situation

I love the semi circle idea!

Op sorry about your dd I hope she's o.k.

My ds is p3 now and walks round to the gate himself and I've told him if I'm not there to wait. I never told him what to do in p1 or p2 where we had to wait at the door.

At our school the teacher or TA identifies the parent before letting the child out (usually saying something like "x did some nice singing today" or "y is a bit tired, isn't she".) Your experience sounds atrocious.

That's bad, definetly talk to the school. They need to change their proceedures.

Thanks everyone. Good to know im not being unreasonable. The thing is though, I'm not sure when i should go and complain? there's a rule that parents aren't allowed to approach the teachers in the morning with issues as it holds up the lines. And i don't really want to leave it until hometime again. Should i go to the main office just before 9 and ask to leave a message for someone?

At my DCs school the headmaster is at the gate as soon as the bell goes. No child could get past him and out on to the road withouth a parent. He really doesn't miss anything. He speaks to everyone on the way in to school so knows which children belong to which parents. I have seen him stop children several times and send them back to their parents when they have tried to get out of the gate without them.

YANBU!

Yes, I would go into the office and ask someone to call you back. Tell them that you have serious concerns about the safety of your child. That should get 'em on the phone pretty quick!

Plenty of schools insist on eyeballing a parent before handing an infant child over.

Main office. Ask to speak to teacher first urgently. Then if they say no ask for head or deputy head as a matter of urgency.

I'd have marched straight back when I got DC though tbh

You aren't allowed to approach staff about an issue at the beginning of the school day? That's pretty poor too, IMO. A quick word with a teacher can often head off a problem later in the day. Sounds like the whole place needs a bit of a shakedown.

I'd be fuming if my child was allowed to wander off like that.

In ds's school the head and deputy head are normally in the playgrounds in the morning before school starts and I would ask to speak to one of them privately, if they werent about I would go to main office after the bell and ask to speak to one of them. they are both very hands on and approachable at ds's school (and teacher would be too busy with class starting to talk to parent).

I think as a rule not talking to teachers at the start of the day is a good one. Some parents want to discuss reading books, water bottles and other trivial stuff and the teachers would never get teaching if this happened daily

This was the rule in our school. However an issue like this or a health concern etc was a different story. The rule isn't there for that.

Sounds like ds school, you can talk to the teacher at home time but can always phone or speak to the head teacher on the yard in the morning ( even in rain she is out there)

Thanks. There's no staff out in the yard in the morning. I think the janitor wanders around sometimes, but (no offence of course) i'd rather report an issue as serious as this to someone in a more authoritive position. I'll just pop to the office then after the bell. Or i think i'd rather phone actually. I hate confrontation.

At my Dc's school they are all just left to run out. No one checks on them the headteacher told me that she knows of 5 year olds who walk home alone

At both the infants schools mine went to the teacher stood at the classroom door and sent the child out to the parent in the playground. They always pointed the adult out to the child too.

I would be fuming too.

I thought it was usual that you couldn't chat to the teacher at the start of the school day, could you imagine how late they'd start if everyone needed a quick word?

MsBrown your message made me shudder. Yes complain and ring the head teacher about it during the school day. Both infant schools my kids have attended have not let the kids out of the school doors until they see who is meant to be collecting them in the playground. At juniors they seem to get let out willy nilly but by that age the kids are old enough to go back in to school by themselves if there is no one around to pick them up I suppose.