To be fuming with dd's school for letting her go out the gate alone?

[MsBrown]

I was standing at the infant doors today waiting on dd coming out of school at hometime. When it got to about five past three, i started to get worried as her class is normally out as soon as the bell goes.

Then a mum walked up to me and asked if my little girl has a pink spotty bag, to which i replied yes, and she said my dd was making her way across the senior yard towards the main gate.

I ran off towards the gate, still couldn't see dd anywhere, so i started calling on her. Another mum came up and told me she's just seen a little girl walking down the street calling on her mummy.

I ran out and thankfully caught up with dd. She was walking along the path next to the main road, calling 'mummy'.

I told her off and explained she's never to do that again.

What had happened was she didn't see me so went looking for me. And the reason i couldn't see her coming out the infant doors is because all the parents flock round the doors at hometime, making it near on impossible to see the children. DD obviously just slipped right past me. I told her that if she doesn't see me again, she's to stay at the doors or go back into school - not wander off.

AIBU to be fuming with the school. IMO the teacher should be keeping an eye on her pupils, making sure they're going to the right adult. There's been a few occassions where my dd's wandered around the infant yard looking for me at hometime as she can't see me because of all the other mums and dads in the crowd, and i can't see her because of the same reasons.

I'm also angry with the other adults for not stopping dd and trying to help her. She was in obvious distress and is only 4. If i saw an upset 4yo walking along a main road, i'd try and help them. Not leave them to it.

So, should i complain to the school tomorrow or let it go? I feel sick at the thought of what could have happened had i not caught up with her.

We have a TA who stands at the gate at the beginning and end of each day. She is the first port of call for any minor issues that need raising (which prevents the teachers being innundated). She also intercepts any potential runaways and makes them wait at the gate, even if their parents are just trailing a little way behind.

In the nicest possible way, nothing gets past Mrs McK!

This is in addition to infant children being handed direct to parents - but even a system like the above would have dealt with your situation quite nicely.

ya so nbu

You did the right thing. Imagine if you hadn't been there to run after her?!

Don't feel bad about it. The head needs to know.

You did the right thing e-mailing the school. It is a serious safety concern. The children at both my DSs schools have to line up behind the teacher and they send them out one by one when they see the parents. There's no crowding round them at all and they never let them go until a carer is spotted!

Seriously wrong! There is a serious systems failure. Our school has a little gate around reception and children are let out one at a time only when the teacher has made eye and verbal contact with the parent.

Its diff when they get older but at reception - I would go ballistic!!!!

Hi everyone.

The school hasn't got back to me and there's still no system in place. I think maybe my email just hasn't been read yet.

However, the class teacher is lovely and kept my daughter beside her today at the doors.

That is pathetic, they are very lucky they are not speaking to the police about a child that was in their care being knocked over on the road,

I would send a email to all the school governors and ask for a meeting.

they kept your daughter in, how about all the other children?

and if the teacher knew to do this, then the head should know about it, and have contacted you,

ask to see the risk assessment.

This is terrifying. Ok so the teacher is now taking care to ensure your DD is beside her but what about everyone else's child?

Please call the Head and ask why you haven't had a response to your email which highlights a serious safety concern. Give her 24 hrs to respond, then contact the governors and then OFSTED. At all times you can make it clear that you have now spoken to the teacher but that this is a serious systemic failure and not just down to one teacher.

I know this won't be true in all schools but my Y4 DS still has to be handed to a known carer by his teacher - he's double your DD's age and the school's system only changes once parents give their written consent for children to walk home unaccompanied in Yr 5. THAT's how wrong this is! I'm sorry to shout but your 4 yr old left school premises alone and you are worried about being seen as a troublesome parent?!!

I would actually go into the Reception area / Office tomorrow after dropping your dd into class in the morning, and ask to speak to the HT. If (s)he isn't available to speak to you then, then explain that you sent an e-mail which really is very important, and also somewhat urgent, and is regarding safeguarding, which you had hoped to give the school chance to respond first, but that you will have to take further if the school aren't going to do something about it. Say you can be contacted ...{how/when}... but that you have been advised that incidents such as the one that has happened ought to be reported to OFSTED, so feel you need to do that, that afternoon.
You don't need to discuss with the office staff what happened, but the message should get through that someone needs to open that e-mail and respond pretty quickly!

When I talked to a teacher friend in a school in Scotland about this she said her legal obligation to the child ended as soon as she stepped outside the door (the teachers always stay inside).

My DC's school even sent a specific letter out to p1 parents to say please don't stand and wait in the playground. (the assumption being kids should go out the gate to the pavement to find their mums).

I think there is an age difference here- English reception kids can be 4yrs +1day whereas Scottish p1 are at least 4 1/2 but can be as old as 5 yrs 7 months. Big difference imo.

FGS!
MsBrown it's your choice how you deal with this. However as a parent and a school governor I would be very unhappy with the result you have described. Good, the "lovely" teacher kept your child beside her at the doors. She shouldn't have done. The point is that she should be there ALONE so that she can concentrate properly on sending the children out one at a time. No parents, no children with her.
I don't think you will, but you should be making a formal complaint to the Headteacher, without delay, if for no other reason because you have had no response on such a serious issue. If you aren't happy with the outcome of that you should write and escalate it formally to the Chair of Governors (not the local authority before anyone brings them in).

Please, for the sake of other children in the school, do something about this. Next time the outcome might not be so lucky.
(Of course the class teacher is lovely and giving your child special treatment, she knows how seriously this incident should be viewed. I'd do everything to keep you quiet in her shoes as well, but it's not just about her).

Ridiculous, at DS's school the reception children's parents are asked to line up by the door and then when you get to the door your child is brought out. Takes a little longer but at least the teacher can see that each child is being collected the right adult!

p.s. In a case like this Ofsted would almost certainly refer the parent back to the Headteacher. This is a one-off operational matter, even if it is a safeguarding issue.

I keep thinking about this, OP, please come back and let us know when you have a response from the school. Am really hoping they sort something out!!

That's terrible, at my children's school, they aren't allowed to go anywhere until the teacher has made eye contact- any of the kids who get excited because they have seen a parent are told to wait until the teacher has spotted them too, and then is watched as they make their way to the parent. Anyone could have walked off with your child.
I have to say though, I do recall at my school, parent's were often told off if they crowded, we were all brought out in a line, holding hands, and parent's had to take it in turns to approach their child and speak to the teacher.
It is weird no one else thought to stop her, on the off chance that ever happened to any children from my DCs school, I'd most certainly stop them and herd them back to school

Agree with the other Scots who say that it's usual for the children to be let out, with the expectation that they'll go back in if a parent isn't there. Schools have safe walking routes with plenty of lollipop people, and most children live within half a mile or do from the school.

It's quite usual for children to walk to school on their own from P1 or P2, so people talking about safeguarding failure etc, are being a tad hysterical. The whole system is different and more local.