PFB first day at school parents ignoring the schools request to NOT accompany their PFB into the cloak room.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

If you are one of these parents FUCKING STOP IT! FFS!

The cloakroom is built to comfortably hold 60 children, 2 teachers and 4 TAs. Not 60 children, 2 teachers, 4 TAs, 30 mummies, 20 daddies, 10 sets of grandparents, 6 toddling siblings and 3 babes in buggies.

20 fucking minutes it took me to convince my yr1 child to go into her cloakroom because she didn't dare push past all the fecking imbecile parents. Do you realise how daunting it is for a 3ft something child to have to force her way through that lot!?!

And to the mummy who shoved past dd2 to get to her whimpering child - shame on you You'd better hope you don't me in small, crowded space. You'll be the one going face first into the fucking wall. I can guarantee you that.

I suppose so Tantrums. Not into the class but wouldn't you get out of the car and see him/her off if it's their first day and they were the only one from their primary?

(Mine are still at primary)

Well don't we have some perfect parents on here today?

I would hate to think that when ds finally goes in tomorrow and I can sob without him seeing me that other parents would think I was in some kind of wobbly lip competition.

Oh to have the luxury of being able to observe other parents and judge their behaviour!

OP, I'm glad the school phoned and you were able to voice your concerns. I do think that a newsletter is a pathetic way of trying to diffuse the situation and really that is the LEAST they can do. If space is such an issue and children are getting hurt then they should come up with another solution. As a parent I would be angry at the disruption yes, but I would insist that the school actively DO something about it rather than just write a note in the school newsletter. That seems to be their answer for every parent complaint, to write about it in a newsletter that hardly anyone reads instead of actually tackling the issue themselves.

"I have been on the other end of this judging malarky. I have had ds dragged off me, with him screaming my name, in front of all the other kids and parents whilst he was in Yr2 and Yr3 and I could see the judgement written all over some of their faces."

rhubarb - been there, done that! Grim beyond words - for nearly 3 years with DS1 But that happened in the playground as the bell went not in the cloakroom. It was not a reason to clog up a limited space with me and DD in her buggy as well. I have every sympathy with parents of distressed children but I think that's a different issue.

Exactly! What gets me about this kind of thing is that the children cannot see their pegs cos there are too many adults (2 parents, 1 or 2 grandparents, a sibling and a dog for each new starter)
I actually asked some to move out of the way so my son could find HIS peg in HIS classroom.
Passive aggressive perhaps, but they got my point.

At ds1's school, the reception class is open 15 mins before the bell and parents are encouraged to go in and stay until the bell, then leave. All the other classes, Year 1 up, line up in the playground when the bell goes and the teacher comes and collects them and they all, in theory, go in in a nice line. Unfortunately for me, ds1 needed to be handed to his teacher each morning or I would have to walk him in and throw him at a TA. I did notice that for the last 2 weeks of the term before the holidays that the reception children were lining up outside with everyone else, which came from complaints from us parents of the year before that the children found the first day back in year one very daunting as it was so different and they had no idea what they should be doing, and neither did us parents!
If the school policy is no parents in the school then that is how it should be, but maybe a later start on the very first day for the reception children would be a good idea.

No, both my DCs went to their first day at secondary on the bus with their friends. That's what they preferred.
I didn't feel the need to stand at the school gate waving them off tbh.

Once they hit Secondary they change within the first week and suddenly become more independent, us Oldies become embarrassing. Any contact with Parents on a school day is usually restricted to Progress Review Day or when they're sick and need to be picked up from reception..

If felt good to shove my Yr7 child out the house this morning to walk to the bus stop on her own.

No more school gate malarky!

That's just it. You say "went to their first day at secondary on the bus with their friends". Which means they were moving up with their friends from primary or those they knew from clubs etc. Maybe the people you saw were parents of those coming up alone from their primary.

They were in my DDs primary class.

Ok then I give up.

My 16 year old started sixth form today, Am I a bad mother for not holding his hand and taking him to his class

Personally I think parents accompanying kids into the cloakroom makes them worse. Say goodbye in the playground ffs.

I have never followed my ds into school, god forbid.

Sorry about your dd doin.

Rabid ring the college and check he's ok. He may still be stood outside.

DD1 and DD2s primary had a nice system for starting reception. Both were january starts, so don't know how it worked in September, but each child was given a start time for their first day, staggered by 20 or 30 minutes. Parents accompanied their DC to the classroom, were met by the teacher, coats, bags hung up, all trooped into the class, DC was sat down at a painting/cutting and sticking activity, fabulous old school reception teacher said "right then DC, say bye bye to Mummy, off you go now, [big wink to child] we do't need mummies cluttering up the classroom when we're having fun, do we?", and sent paretns down to the headteacher for handholding, snivelling, and a bit of not-really-needed admin. Each DC got a personalised start, teacher wasn't overwhelmed with 30 new pupils all at once, and the perfomance mummies found it a bit harder to perform just for the head .

Re secondary - DD2 gained massive cool points because her big sister in sixth form took her in on her first day, rather than being dropped off by me . I was busy snivelling after dropping DD3 off at her first school aged 7 (she was mostly HE till then) where there is no option for parents to get in and cause chaos thankfully. Parent wouldnt make it onto the secondary school site actually, as the gates are manned by a rota of teachers doing crowd control and nagging about untucked shirts and too short skirts. Parents would never get past some of the scarier teachers.

rabid you mean you didn't take him in, look at his timetable, make sure he was in the class with all his friends and knew where to put his coat??

Tut tut tut

My DC school have a similar system to IShallWearMidnight's school on the first day, works very well (DS's first day tomorrow, gulp...)

They also have bouncers two TAs blocking on the door to stop parents getting in the cloakroom. We had the same helicopter parents every morning in DD's reception year, pushing and trying to reach past the TAs as if they were trying to hang up their DCs coat for them, no matter how many times they were asked to give ALL the kids some space. Step away for heavens sake....

Blister my dd was an 'only' child when she started secondary. She would no more have had me drop her at school than go in wearing only her undercrackers The high school seemed to have systems for kids moving up without their old classmates iirc.

I worried a lot last year when she was starting, but she was fine! I was allowed to drop her at the corner of the street-next-but-one and that was the closest I got until parents evening months later

YANBU to expect your DD to not be pushed into a wall by an overzealous parent but YABU to underestimate the big deal it is for a lot of parents. When my DS was in reception (last year) it was the school rule to bring them into the classroom, hang their coat up, refill their water bottle for the day, indicate on a chart whether they were having packed lunch or a school dinner and also write any names on boards of people who were picking them up if different from yourself! This was expected for the whole of the Autumn term- it took at least 20 mins every day for a term!

It was a bit chaotic sometimes and 3 children's parents would stay longer to deal with settling in problems. One dad stood outside the classroom for 15 minutes after registration to reassure his daughter who was allowed to come out for incremental hugs in that time. Another mum would sit with her daughter to help her with the first activity they had chosen to do themselves. My DS would barely bat in eyelid, TA would remind him to say goodbye to me. However, I would often chat to the Dad who was a very nice man, he wasn't obsessive or anything. They are very young, some much younger than others- my DS being one. I think parents are rightly concerned for their children who find this all a bit overwhelming.

There's a gate between the playground melee and the year 1 classrooms at my kids' school. Nobody gets past:o It's fun watching them try though

My middle one starts year one tomorrow, I'll be waving from a distance, like I did for 90% of his reception year too. Can't be dealing with the weeping and woe. I might call a whaaaaaambulance if it's bad in morning:o

Before anyone asks, children who need to meet their 1-to-1 or have a major problem that day go through the office. It's a good system:)

YANBU. What a nightmare. I agree that the school should be firm about the rules, but I can also see that a couple of teachers are probably no match for the hordes of parents and assorted others.

I do wonder when all this intense involvement began. My mother never set foot in our school in the mornings, even when I began school in the U.K., having just moved from another country. I was 5 years old at the time.

Not only the parental involvement Kitchen, the parental defiance.

It creates more problem than it solves, stay out side and let the teacher settle the class down.

I dropped off my pfb son for his first ever day at reception and the mood amongst most parents was generally carnival light.

But I watched with astonishment through the window as some parents milled around the classroom for ages after their children had gone in. Even those I know to have additional needs were pretty much dumped.

But then we were shown the classroom and cloakroom at the parents' meeting in July where there was lots of wine so maybe we weren't as intimidated.