PFB first day at school parents ignoring the schools request to NOT accompany their PFB into the cloak room.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

If you are one of these parents FUCKING STOP IT! FFS!

The cloakroom is built to comfortably hold 60 children, 2 teachers and 4 TAs. Not 60 children, 2 teachers, 4 TAs, 30 mummies, 20 daddies, 10 sets of grandparents, 6 toddling siblings and 3 babes in buggies.

20 fucking minutes it took me to convince my yr1 child to go into her cloakroom because she didn't dare push past all the fecking imbecile parents. Do you realise how daunting it is for a 3ft something child to have to force her way through that lot!?!

And to the mummy who shoved past dd2 to get to her whimpering child - shame on you You'd better hope you don't me in small, crowded space. You'll be the one going face first into the fucking wall. I can guarantee you that.

Totally, totally NBU. What a bunch of plonkers.

It was DD's first day back today, into yr 2. Like last year, I took her into the yard, gave her a kiss, handed her to the teacher and LSA scooping all their kids together, and left. Terrific.

If the lack of space is the reason for not letting parents in the cloakroom then, yes, the school should be ensuring that their requests are adhered to.

Teachers and TAs standing at the cloakroom doors and taking children through without parents would be the obvious solution.

DD's school was quite good at this.

Reception is a completely different entrance, and difference gated playground.

Parents are encouraged into the playground, but not the classroom. Children line up with mum and dad, but are handed over to teacher/TA at the door. If children are visibly distressed (not actually that many, thankfully) then teacher/TA allows one parent in to hang up coat, bag, change shoes etc, but it's one at a time.

I'm not sure what they'd do if the child didn't calm down though. I've never seen it, but would assume it would be a nightmare with the other kids wanting to get in. I suppose first day madness helps pinpoint kids who may have issues later on.

IIRC (DD is Year3 this year) the Reception kids started a day later than the rest of the school. Have a feeling DD started on a Thursday?

I totally understand the OP- my experience last year was similar. The chaos created by so many parents in the tiny cloakroom and classroom entrance made the school drop off tense, stressful and a bit of a bunfight.

Many parents were considerate and tried to minimise the chaos but a few seemed completely unaware of anyone but their own DC.

It was really unsettling for the children, even those like mine who were luckily feeling quite confident were pretty freaked out by the chaos.

The situation was vastly improved after the first week when a TA stood at the door and welcomed the children in without their parents. The children who were struggling to seperate from their parent didn't seem to find saying goodbye at the door any more stressful than in the classroom....

Staggering start times doesn't work well ime. You just get one group of kids settled and then you have to deal with another lot that are hyped up and distract the ones already there. Much better to have them all come in in a controlled way at the same time.

Why do parents need to see their child's peg?

They might want to, but that doesn't mean they need to, not on day one. They wll have seen the cloakroom when they visited.

The small group thing would have problems as well, the TA needs to be available to help children that do need extra support, they shouldn't have to be parent crowd control. It's also disruptive for the children that have gone in first. They will end up bored and fidgety by the time the last group has gone in, and it is very hard for a teacher to engage them when there are new propel to see every two minutes. If they go straight in to play, then the TA will be needed in the classroom not the cloakroom as small children don't always just walk in to a bust classroom and find something they want to play with.

An assembly line would work, but no more so than having a time slot where children can come in at their own pace. Schools shouldn't have to legislate for parents that can't control themselves or their emotions.

The trouble is, you only have to have one or two Performance Parents barging their way in to emote in front of everyone and, and before you know it, everyone else feels they look uncaring if they don't, until, Ta Da, you have a cloakroom full of grizzling parents all trying to out out-wobbly-lip each other.

I'm with Sparkling, Outraged and Schnarkle. The rules were there for everyone's safety. OP has noted there are special measures in place for those with extra needs.

I've also felt like the only parent that followed the rules. Felt like I dumped DS and ran on his first day. Tried not to make a big deal, "In you go, Mrs X will be waiting for you in the classroom, have fun and I'll see you at 3!".

The school has met it's responsibilities, they asked parents not to come in. I don't see how it is unreasonable to expect parents to follow a polite request. Making a big song and dance about the first day can't help with the anxiety of the children.

Why not have the extended family come to pick up instead? Coming out to see everyone in the playground waiting to hear all about your first day?

At the first PTA meeting I went to our HT claimed that when making rules, she has to consider parents who think "they and their DC are the only people in the world who matter".

I was a bit at this, and thought it sounded harsh. However, as the year went on I quickly realised that unfortunately people like this exist. They are in the minority but cause major issues.

It's also really tricky when you insist to DC that they follow school rules, then they see others blatantly ignoring the same rules. What to say when DC asks why "xyz doesn't have to have a healthy snack, water in drinks bottle, not take toys to school, be in time, go into classroom unaccompanied".

I realise some cases are for good reasons, where a child is excepted for a particular reason- but there are a handful to whom none of the rules seem to apply.

I guess this is a matter of scale. In DC's school nursery - Y3 arrive between 8:15 and 8:30 (I think registration is actually at 8:45). One class (

'all trying to out out-wobbly-lip each other.' Lol

I wouldn't be taking wellies on first day unless it's torrential rain

Will they be doing the flappy hand face fanning thingy too??

Totally NBU.

A situation like that would have prevented DS1 from going in, he has ASD but manages in mainstream without support at the moment. The cloakroom is a huge issue for him anyway. I've never gone in, as going in on the first day would have set the "rules" if you know what I mean, so he copes alone.

I genuinely don't understand why starting school is such a big deal. Why the sobbing from parents efc. Just fail to get it, school is a good thing. Anecdotally, the sobbiest parents were those who also gave me the "rod for your own back/ spoiled/ dependent" schtick about EBF sling-carried DS2. Just saying.

The school liaison officer rang about dd2 being late, rather than the receptionist who normally phones. Dd2 has already told them that she was hurt on her way in and that is why she was late. She made sure the whole class knew exactly what happened -probably in the hope that someone would give her a biscuit-

Apparently the school have a policy of being 'understanding' towards the parents of new starters but another newsletter will be sent out again tonight asking that parents do not come into the cloak rooms. After day 3 all parents will be expected to drop off outside the cloakroom and leave. They will not be allowed into the school.

Dd2 can go in via reception with the SENCO if it is too much for her tomorrow or she can go in through the yr2/3/4 cloakroom with dd1 and hang her coat on dd1's peg and a TA will go and get it and put back into the right cloakroom after the chaos has subsided. It is up to dd2 what she feels more comfortable with.

She was not given a late mark this morning.

yanbu and I understand your anger as it sounds like your dd's first morning was marred by this, hope it got better for her

Public sobbing is tres naff for such occasions. Go home, stiff upper lip, stiff gin then revel in 6 hours of lovely peace

Otoh sobbing openly when they break up for 6 weeks: totally forgivable.(Joke)

yanbu. Kids at our school line up at 8.45 and take themselves in, and deal with their own coats and bags, with teachers and TAs to help if necessary. If 4yo in our county can do it, I don't know why they have to have their Mum's in to help them elsewhere. On the first day, the parents stay in the playground at the end where the reception line up, but once the bell goes, the teacher and the TA get the kids to line up and go in. I'm glad I don't have to wade through cloakroom madness of a morning, or even go into the classroom with mine. After the first week or so, parents tend to drop the kids in the playground and not hang around for the bell to go unless they want to gossip with friends, even at reception age.

The schools reaction sonds good to me D0oin. Are you happy with it? Or at least as happy as you can be given what already happened.

all trying to out out-wobbly-lip each other

That's exactly it, out performing each other. They can then pat themselves on the back for being such good parents as they obviously care far more for their pfb than the rest of us do for our own.

Well I am happy with it for dd2's sake but I did mention that I was a bit concerned that they are allowing it happen again tomorrow even after a child was hurt, albeit not seriously. Fine for dd2, but it's not going to help all the other yr1s is it?

Oooh wait til the first day of secondary.
That's what you call over competitive wobbly lip parents

I did not take my dd on her first day, she wanted to go with her friends. But apparently there were a good number of parents going into the hall with their DCs, waiting next to them crying and looking through their bags, wanting to wait until they got their form classes to make sure they were with their friends.

The deputy head had to stand by the hall door in the end reminding parents that we had all been instructed by letter, text and email that if we bought our DCs to school, we were to drop them outside and not to accompany them to the hall.

Parents go in on the first day of secondary. Dd was having none of that malarky. She went off on her own while I wobbly lipped at home on my own. All her friends did the same as far as I can recall.

Yes, I suppose you're right, it won't help any of the others. Maybe it will e calmer tomorrow anyway as parents often take the first day off work but then leave them to it, and maybe they will have a staff member more on the lookout.

at parents going in for first day of secondary! My ds would have been mortified if I'd have tried to do that! They have older ones there to make sure the year 7's know where to go.

On the big first day our school took parents and children in small groups at a time so there wasn't a huge flock of parents in the cloakroom at once.

We stagger intake in reception over the first half term so that children get the chance to settle in smaller groups first.