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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PFB first day at school parents ignoring the schools request to NOT accompany their PFB into the cloak room.

265 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:18

If you are one of these parents FUCKING STOP IT! FFS!

The cloakroom is built to comfortably hold 60 children, 2 teachers and 4 TAs. Not 60 children, 2 teachers, 4 TAs, 30 mummies, 20 daddies, 10 sets of grandparents, 6 toddling siblings and 3 babes in buggies.

20 fucking minutes it took me to convince my yr1 child to go into her cloakroom because she didn't dare push past all the fecking imbecile parents. Do you realise how daunting it is for a 3ft something child to have to force her way through that lot!?!

And to the mummy who shoved past dd2 to get to her whimpering child - shame on you Angry You'd better hope you don't me in small, crowded space. You'll be the one going face first into the fucking wall. I can guarantee you that.

OP posts:
Whyriskit · 04/09/2012 11:45

In scotland so been back for 2 weeks now. DS1 in P1 - he's 4.
They had an induction day in June and while they were meeting their teacher etc, the parents were told: staggered starts for first 3 days, parents allowed to take in on day one (but we all had to line up), after that they had to line up and be called in by teacher class by class. It seems to have worked really well, both parents and teachers know what is expected.
This is a big school too, 3 P1 classes of 25.

AlwaysHoldingOnToStars · 04/09/2012 11:50

Parents going to secondary first day! Shock ds1 would not have been amused. Luckily for him I had others to take to school do he had to go on his own.

Ds5 is going into year 1. For the first 2 weeks parents are allowed into the classroom for 20 minutes in the morning to settle them in!! 20 minutes for 2 weeks! I'm doing it in the first day and that is it as I have to get ds2 to his school (he starts a day later)

Do they not think parents have anything else to do, like work? I don't, but I know some who do. I also know ds5 is a drama queen so there will probably be scenes when I have to leave and other parents are staying. Ds3 & 4 were dropped off in the cloakroom when they started year 1 and they coped fine (and they hadn't even done reception as I delayed starting them)

Tanith · 04/09/2012 11:51

I don't remember this fuss when I started school in the 70s. We lined up in the playground and went in with everyone else.
I remember 2 children, just 2, being upset in two years, and the teacher comforted them while the rest of us stared and wondered what on earth was the matter.

Of course, the big difference is that we were 5. There was no YR in those days, so most children were ready for school. YR aged children were still at nursery, where a bit more coddling was acceptable.

BadEducation · 04/09/2012 11:52

I think on the first day of term, for reception children, most schools are mindful of the fact that parents will want to go in with their child, and vice versa. They will clamp down on it by half term, and it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

As has been suggested, it would be better if the school had staggered the new starters over several days to avoid this kind of thing.

LauraShigihara · 04/09/2012 11:54

at parents going in on the first day of secondary school.

Mine were dumped off up the road and told to 'follow the signs'. They were lucky they got a lift.

They would have died of shame if I'd actually got out of the car.

elizaregina · 04/09/2012 11:54

totally agree on the judging and not knowing back stories, slightly different but my disabled dad who we see about twice a year for a few weeks came to school with car and DISABLED badges to pick up DD1 with the idea he would go into get her....as a nice surpise....seeing as she is his ONLY GRANDCHILD, he lives 300 miles away ALONE, and is 75 years old.

the problem is until you get into the car park you dont know if there will be a space or not., on this occasion there wasnt - and two grand parents with two children who had to wait a milli second for my dad to drive past - starting moaning - " ooh they shouldnt be in here with a car - what are they doing, its agaisnt the RULES"

THEY WENT ON AND ON AND ON.

So I got out the car and said " do you mind he has a disabled badge he is allowed in actually" they snapped back...

" YES BUT YOU DONT NEED ONE!"

and walked off.

Do you know I see them every Fucking day collecting thier two grandchildren - isnt that nice for them.

After that I couldnt be bothered to face them again so my dad has never gone in to pick up DD1 from nursery now, as its too far for him to walk from other areas where you can park outside the shcool gates!

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 11:54

Bet you can't wait for the Nativity play-you can be the only one not filming it. Angry

OnlyNiceSwearing · 04/09/2012 11:54

Is it really that bad? In our fairly large school we were all allowed to accompany our first years in to the classroom each morning for the entire first year if we wanted to. Buggies has to be left outside and people were generally polite to one another whilst going into the class. Where on earth do you live??

TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 04/09/2012 11:57

sparkling that is one of my pet hates

"please do not film the play or take pictures"

Cue 25 parents getting their cameras out.

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 11:59

I don't know if they have staggered YR starting. I have no reception aged children this year. I know when dd2 first started they had a week where half of the class went on a morning and the other half on the afternoon. Dd2 was in the afternoon group, so I didn't see any of this chaos of people trying to get their Y1 children in with the YR children. There were only 15 or so YR children and the accompanying extended family (which I thought was slightly odd, but each to their own I guess), but it was calmer as there was less people, so more space.

I have no idea if the morning starters had to go through what we did this morning.

Dd1 was when she started more confident and more agile than dd2 is now. She was in the morning group but just ducked under people/through their legs like a tiny, wee whippet, without any fuss. She didn't want me to come in with her.

OP posts:
elizaregina · 04/09/2012 12:00

YABU by the way I agree that its the schools mismanagement not the parents fault.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/09/2012 12:02

Our reception class has a seperate enterance to the rest of the year groups. Reception class has an open door policy wherby all parents are allowed to go in and out pretty freely to settle their DC's in on any morning. I have never seen any sort of ruck and the DC's all seem pretty settled. All other year groups file in through one entrance in turn, no parents allowed. All seems to work fine.

WelshMaenad · 04/09/2012 12:13

We have special dispensation to drive up to school (on a hill) and park near the doors, because DD is disabled (she has blue badge). We even have the Holy Grail, which is the little coded blipper that opens the automatic gates. Despite the fact that on a bad morning she can barely walk at all, let alone up a hill, we've been subjected to some pretty disgusting stage whispers about me being LAZY and thinking I am SPECIAL.

So I feel your pain Laura!

sugarice · 04/09/2012 12:25

Tantrums Parents accompanying their kids into Secondary School Shock. All 3 of mine would have pulled their own teeth out with pliers rather than me set foot within a foot of the perimeter of the school on their first day. It's very uncool and a potential source for teasing if a Parent is seen anywhere close other than driving the car for drop offs. I have never heard of that happening before.

wheredidiputit · 04/09/2012 12:26

My DC school solved this problem last year by making ALL classes line up by their teacher in the playground so no parents get into the school.

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 12:28

Oh yes Tantrums, that used to make me so angry. Plus if the doors don't open until 6pm how come the first two rows are always full of the same parents. Confused

We had instructions not to drive up the very narrow lane morning or afternoon and that was ignored. Or park in the teacher's car park-ditto.

It was in the news letter every single week. Angry

Now DS1 get the bus to secondary school and DS2 bikes to Middle School. I don't miss the nonsense of First school one bit.

TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 04/09/2012 12:30

Oh but they did. And collected them from inside the school afterwards.
And in my sons year, year 9, they still stand by the gates to collect them.

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 12:33

Do you think I should get on the bus with DS1 tomorrow Tantrums? Just to be sure? He's 13 and may not be able to find his locker.

TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 04/09/2012 12:41

Yes, definitley sparkling. He might get lost

When I give my DCs a lift to school, I am not allowed to drive down the road the school is on, in case someone sees them.

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 12:44

It's 12 miles away so I may as well hover around til hometime Tantrums. Check he eats his lunch and catches the right coach home. Grin

blisterpack · 04/09/2012 12:45

Why is it so ridiculous if parents accompany their children on the first day of secondary school? Not to go and find the child's peg or wipe their tears off obviously Grin, but lots of children go into selective schooling where they are the only child from their primary and they know no one at the school. Surely you'd take your child and see them off then?

OrangeandGoldMrsDeVere · 04/09/2012 12:47

No.

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 12:47

On DS's first day at Secondary I accompanied him in the car to the school then kicked him out. Blush

He's at a new one now on the coach.

TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 04/09/2012 12:48

into the school blister
Really?

My DCs would have refused to go in with me!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 04/09/2012 12:49

YANBU OP. YANBU at all other than with the PFB bit. IME this kind of thing is not restricted to the parents of PFBs.