PFB first day at school parents ignoring the schools request to NOT accompany their PFB into the cloak room.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

If you are one of these parents FUCKING STOP IT! FFS!

The cloakroom is built to comfortably hold 60 children, 2 teachers and 4 TAs. Not 60 children, 2 teachers, 4 TAs, 30 mummies, 20 daddies, 10 sets of grandparents, 6 toddling siblings and 3 babes in buggies.

20 fucking minutes it took me to convince my yr1 child to go into her cloakroom because she didn't dare push past all the fecking imbecile parents. Do you realise how daunting it is for a 3ft something child to have to force her way through that lot!?!

And to the mummy who shoved past dd2 to get to her whimpering child - shame on you You'd better hope you don't me in small, crowded space. You'll be the one going face first into the fucking wall. I can guarantee you that.

Perhaps the mother was anxious and upset?
I dont condone what she did to your dd but it was an accident and I am sure she wouldn't have meant to do it.
On my sons first day I was so distressed and so was he...I couldn't see for tears so perhaps cut her some slack for today?
If she does it again then gloves off?

At our school there are hatchings drawn on the floor outside the classroom doors for reception just to avoid this problem. I have now seen 3 dc into school for their first day and ds is next year. I have never gone into the classroom, I cuddle them in the playground and send them to the teacher. There have been tears to begin with but I feel a big part of reception is learning to adapt to a new environment. Have these kids never been to nursery or preschool?

I think first day at school is harder on the parents in some respects - worrying about where they put their coat or whether they'll eat their dinner is normal - but it's up to the teachers to deal with it not the parents!

I wonder if a similar thread will be started tomorrow about ds and me

That depends Rhubarb - are you likely to be the parent that pushes another small child into a wall to get to your whimpering (note, not crying, not suffering seperation anxiety, just whimpering) child. Now you don't seem like that to me, so I doubt it.

Doin's child was hurt, was bleeding, and she's pissed off. I can completely understand that, and I can completely understand being angry at the parents breaking the rules that were complicit in causing the injury, rather than the school.

Tomorrow Doin has the opportunity to say "No, I'm not letting DD go through this again" and taking her child through the Reception. At that point, when challenged, she has the perfect opportunity to complain to the school and insist they do something about it.

But right now - Doin is pissed off and venting.

"it's actually that parents don't know what's expected of them and it's hard to make 'rules' that meet the needs of all children."

Its the above comment which sums its up really, I was always of the understanding the rules were made and the children (and parents) followed them.

How are we ever to teach our children that they are not the centre of the universe if we as parents dont follow the rules, which are there for a reason.

I find it astounding how some parents actually believe the requests and rules are not meant for them.

Dooin, you are most definitely not Unreasonable.

I can't believe D0oin is getting a hard time! An adult pushed past her child and actually hurt her, for no good reason! There is no excuse for that, no matter how hard you are finding your PFBs first day at school. Her child is of equal importance to everyone else's child.

There is no need for more than one adult to go any further than the playground, and families that do invite grandparents and bring buggies etc are incredibly selfish. They give no thought to all the other children who presumably they want their child to make friends with, they make it all about themselves and their wants, not their child's needs. Children do not need to be accompanied by any more than one parent.

This is one reason why small schools and staggered starts are wonderful.

Exactly pink. The parents did know what was expected-they were told not to go in.

I agree with op

I'm sick to death of parents standing in the doorway when my 5 year old is trying to get through
It's just rude

Yes, I would be angry if my 5 year old was hurt by an adult but I wouldn't threaten violence, and I might even try to have a little bit of empathy for new reception starters.

Does that clarify my position?

I asked the teacher before I took Y1 DS into the cloakroom as I expected Y1 parents to be banned this year. But as we all had so may PE kits, football kits, wellies, reading bags and summer projects they let us all go through. I tried to get DS to carry it all on his own but his little arms weren't big enough.

Tomorrow he will get dropped at the door but the reception parents will still be able to go in with their DC's which makes it more civilised.

TBH the school could have staggered it a bit and let maybe just 5 parents in at a time.

I don't think D0in had any intention of carrying out said violence. Hence a thread on MN to vent.

Have to admit i was a bit dropping dd off to Year 2 today today to find about 8 sets of grandparents as well as the usual (very nice on the whole..) parents, most of whom no-nonsensely just dropped and went. They've been at the school three years!!

YANBU it's school not WW1 battlefields. The way some parents behave you'd think they were sending their child off to war! No wonder children get clingy if such a huge fuss us made, it's too much pressure on the child. It's very annoying for families whose approach is to keep things calm and low key to have to deal with the starting school hysterics. We all care about our chikdren we just decide not to porject our concerns onto our children and be the adult. It would be helpful if parents could remember to show a bit of responsibilty in these situations. Sorry to the poster who thinks schools should plan for upset parents! Personally, I'd rather they were focusing on the children.

Why can't they line up outside and be led in by the teacher, like a normal school?

Actually I went in with my PFB today and I couldn't believe the noise. I thought my DD would be upset and clingy but she was fine ( I think like me she was totally dumbstruck). The noise, screaming, wailing and shouting was overwhelming. How the teachers can stand it I don't know. I assume it must calm down pretty quickly or it must be hell to work there.

Yanbu.

My first dc started school 15 years ago, my 4th starts on Monday.

You got a few parents 15 years ago who tried to make it all about their child them
Now you get half a class full pushing and standing around, fussing and getting in the way.

What about the children who genuinely need that extra support? They don't stand a chance of getting it because the teacher and TAs are too busy dealing with these parents who don't seem to have grown up themselves.

I hate the school gates and the class door. People behave like arses at the very time they should be behaving like adults

Yes D0oin we have all expressed sympathy with you and I get the feeling that people are now ignoring the reasonable posts and just going off on a vent. I haven't read one single post that has said that you had no right to be angry about what happened to your dd.

At the risk of merely repeating my previous posts, what we are saying (and I say "we" but actually a LOT of posts are supporting the OPs position) is that the school should take responsibility for what happened this morning.

I'm not sure you can apportion entire blame to emotional parents, parents who you don't know of children you don't know who may have stories and history that you don't know.

Myself and a few other posters have explained why some children, even older than Year 1 will need accompanying to the classroom, yet these posts have been largely ignored by the braying mob who have deemed ALL parents as irresponsible and highly strung. How on earth do you think that makes us feel when we have calmly and reasonably shared our own experiences with you and have gone into full explanations?

Sparkling asks me why parents can't just follow the rules. I say she hasn't bothered to read my posts because I've explained why some can't.

I think a lot of posters are being spectacularly unsympathetic and are apportioning blame only onto the parents. The OP has not once said a word about it being the fault of the school, not even partly. Yet it would be reasonable to assume that the school does have some part to play in this scenario, after all they must have witnessed this a hundred times and yet they still have nothing in place to prevent this from happening?

I get the feeling that to blame the school would be too reasonable. It's much more fun to have a go at the parents of these very young children instead and recount stories of how OUR own children are little angels and how WE are so much better than those plebs sobbing at the school gates.

Oh yes, lets have a few more stories about how wonderful WE all are whilst looking down our noses at THEM.

I hate these fucking threads.

You see all the posters above saying " well I'm doing it"" and I'm going to do it" and so on,
Surely it's better for settling in to have a process from day one. Drop at the door and leave, and that's how it's going to be. 4 year olds are remarkably resilient and surely it's best to start as you mean to go on rather than make them think that mummy will be going in with them each day and then getting upset when suddenly she can't.

Is this for children whose first day it is?

They should do what we do here.

It´s a big thing, starting school & is celebrated here (Germany)

There´s a church service first for those who want, then onto the school & there´s entertainment by the children who started last year.

Then the children are called by their class teachers & go off to their classroom for an hour or so.

Parents & siblings "mingle", chat, drink tea/coffee, & eat cake/snacks.

The next day children are left at the school door by any accompanying parents.

I wish they would do that WhatYouLookingAt, they used to but the Head is very hot on lateness and this keeping the cloakrooms open for 15 minutes and expecting children to be seated and ready to learn at 9am exactly is supposed to help that

Why they can't just let all of the children in at 8:50am like they used to I have no idea . It must work at reducing lateness because they've been doing it since dd1 started there four years ago. The day she started was the day the new rules came in on a trail basis at first.

My son starts reception tomorrow and I don't even know where the cloakroom is. He's only ever seen the classroom once and there is no staggering, and also no instructions were sent home on any first day or cloakroom protocol. Should be fun!

It is the school who is at fault. There are bound to be parents who want to go in with their small children on the first day.

DD2 started Year 1 today and the teacher handled it admirably. Everyone was standing outside with the children and she chatted to some of them while wandering through the crowd. But when it was time to go in she went to the front and said "That's it, time to say goodbye to the mummies and daddies. Please stand back so that the children can make their way inside".

And that was it.

If you have a special reason for needing to go in you should ask the school for permission Rhubarb. I have read your posts, and I am aware there are exceptions as with anything.