Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PFB first day at school parents ignoring the schools request to NOT accompany their PFB into the cloak room.

265 replies

D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:18

If you are one of these parents FUCKING STOP IT! FFS!

The cloakroom is built to comfortably hold 60 children, 2 teachers and 4 TAs. Not 60 children, 2 teachers, 4 TAs, 30 mummies, 20 daddies, 10 sets of grandparents, 6 toddling siblings and 3 babes in buggies.

20 fucking minutes it took me to convince my yr1 child to go into her cloakroom because she didn't dare push past all the fecking imbecile parents. Do you realise how daunting it is for a 3ft something child to have to force her way through that lot!?!

And to the mummy who shoved past dd2 to get to her whimpering child - shame on you Angry You'd better hope you don't me in small, crowded space. You'll be the one going face first into the fucking wall. I can guarantee you that.

OP posts:
Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:56

But they do know the teachers. They do several school visits in the end of the term last year.

You'd have to "dump" your child at some point. Why not in the yard, where there is enough space for everyone to say goodbye without risking squashing someone else's child? Confused

OP posts:
TantrumsAndOlympicGoldBalloons · 04/09/2012 09:57

Well, I reckon I can top that.

I do not normally take ds2 to school, he goes to breakfast club but I had a late start today so braved the school gate horror.

Ds2 is in year 4. We get to the playground. The bell goes. Ds2 teacher opens the cloakroom door. I say "bye ds2" other parents say "bye"

1 family consisting of mother, father, baby in pushchair, teenager and 3 other adults push past the children going into the classroom, knock over my ds2 with the pushchair and proclaim loudly that they are going in to look at where their DCs peg is,what table they are sitting at and whether they can see the board.

And let's bear in mind this is year fucking 4.
The child had been at the school since nursery. It's not their first day.

And if that pushchair touches my child again there going to be a problem.

This is why I don't do the school gate :(

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 09:58

Yes it's a shared cloakroom. Yr1 and reception.

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 04/09/2012 09:59

Why didn't you wait with your child until the scrum had died down? I wouldn't send my child in by herself to deal with that anyway. Im sorry your child got bumped, but you dont sound much better the the other parents tbh.

I took my pfb into the cloakroom yesterday and today. As did the other parents. I expect I will do it for the rest of the week. Maybe more if I feel like it. Although it was crowded, everyone managed to be quite respectful and polite to each other. No aggression towards each other whatsoever. And everyone waited in line until there was enough room to get in the cloak room.

Go and talk to your child's school about it if you have a problem.

rockandahardplace2012 · 04/09/2012 10:00

I understand they have visits but after 6 weeks they may not be so confident with them. I totally get the safety issue but the school should police it so that so many children can go in with parents take their coats of comfortably and then sit down, parents then leave. Its the first day they should allow enough time for parents to say goodbye in a safe environment they know how anxious children can be on their first day.

Toughasoldboots · 04/09/2012 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poachedeggs · 04/09/2012 10:00

And as for blaming the school, if the school have already communicated to parents that they are not to enter the cloakroom then yes, I would be angry with the parents. The school shouldn't have to police this. Why must people be spoon fed and shepherded?

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 10:01

Oh right sorry D0oin. So presumably it was a mix of two years of parents.

Are you looking forward to pick up? Sad

Birdsgottafly · 04/09/2012 10:01

"I'm taking her in through reception if it is like that tomorrow."

So rather than speak to the school about this and see what they say, you are just going to do whatever you feel like, but other people are the problem, especially GP's who take an active role in their GC life? Confused

LtEveDallas · 04/09/2012 10:02

Rosebud, Gigondas et al. Are you seriously saying that you would not be FURIOUS if your DD was hurt, by another adult, whilst simply trying to get into school? Really? Crikey, that surprises me.

Doin has also said that the TA was already dealing with the upset child. So the mothers reaction was over the top, unecssessary and as a result Doin's child was injured.

Making school a dangerous place to go to is defeating the object of mum needing to be there somewhat huh?

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 10:02

I did wait. I waited until after the bell went and everyone started coming out. Then this woman ran back in because she saw her child crying.

I will have a phonecall later asking me to explain why dd2 was late. They're supposed to be in their classroom and in their seats before the bell goes. The cloakroom is open for 15 minutes.

OP posts:
THERhubarb · 04/09/2012 10:03

Yr 1 kids are often put in with the whole school so it's a new classroom with a new teacher and part of the school rather than a separate part to themselves. And yes they would have been shown around before the holidays but let's face it, secondary school kids are upset at having to back to school so how much more so will a 5 year old be who has only had 1 year at school? Some of them may not have even started in Reception so this could be their very first day at school ever.

It's so heartening to read all these harsh replies you know. I wonder if a similar thread will be started tomorrow about ds and me?

Once again, these children are 5 YEARS OLD. Very very young still. It is NOT ON for the school to just expect them all to leave them at the school gates. That is not going to happen. The school have failed here and need to reassess the situation.

I note that the OP has not said that she will contact the school about this, so they are let off the hook whilst the parents - people you don't know - are being torn apart and judged. Nice.

It's parents like this that really makes others feel good about themselves.

rockandahardplace2012 · 04/09/2012 10:03

They're just dont want the hassle, they should understand that parents probably will want to come into the cloakroom with there dcs. I know I would.

IDontDoIroning · 04/09/2012 10:04

Op you are so NBU.
My dc have left primary now but the primary had a policy where children were left at the door /gate from the first day. The school was not unfriendly and the HT and staff had pretty much an open door policy outside of lesson time. So it's not like parents weren't welcome.

Obviously everyone wants to witness their dc first day in school but if everyone is dropping at the door having a hug and walking away ( crying - mums not dc), then everyone else does the same. The moment one parent steps over the threshold they all will want to and naturally in some cases they will have relatives or siblings and before you know it it's an unmanageable scrum. This is also dangerous to the other children and probably unsettling for the pupils.

there are some parents who would trample another child underfoot gently push another child out if the way it meant they could have a better view/ more time etc with their dc, and as you have personally witnessed its dangerous

OP you must bring this up with the school and request that they enforce this policy. I'm sure they would prefer a few miffed parents to an injured child and having to do accident reports etc no win no fee lawyers anyone ?

booomy · 04/09/2012 10:05

You sound really lovely OP Hmm
It the kids first day! It's a massive moment for parents. Maybe grandparents is excessive but when it's my DS's first day, I'm sure me and DP will both be there to send him in!

She's a year 1, it's not like she's missing some important dissertation research information by taking an extra five minutes to hang her coat up, and the fact that you've got time to come on mumsnet and rant about it, suggests you weren't in a massive rush either. If they're still there in a week then you can moan. In the mean time, remember when you were first sending your little ones off!

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 10:06

I just want parents to follow the rules Rhubarb. If they have been told not to go in, then that is what the school want. I really don't understand it when parents ignore the rules.

DairyNips · 04/09/2012 10:08

To a certain extent I agree that that many people in such a small space is dangerous.

However, the people who said 'just brief them on what to do then drop them off'.. This wouldn't work with my son, he is really distractible and would probably just go in, see a friend and hang his coat on any hook he saw or chuck it on the bench then run off in! I would be stood shouting to him from the door to get his attention. He's just not that good at concentrating on the task in handHmm

So, not sure what the solution is, maybe if the parents took their kids in quickly in 3 seperate groups? My ds starts school tomorrow, I have a 2.5 year old and a 11 week old. Not sure how I can just leave them in the playground to help him and if I send him in alone he won't have a clue what to doConfused Not sure what the rules are at his school, they aren't that great on communicating these things so will find out in the morning I guess!

booomy · 04/09/2012 10:08

They're not doing it to be deliberate dicks though are they? They just care about their children.

IceBergJam · 04/09/2012 10:08

Why do you use the term PFB? Do you know they were all only children ? You make mothers with just a 'PFB' sound like idiots . Do you mean to ?

RabidAnchovy · 04/09/2012 10:08

I agree with you OP it is maddening, mine are both much older now, DS1 went in to sixth form today and DS2 goes in to year 8 tomorrow but I remember the first day madness at primary school. There was one mother who was really bad and it never ended as even when her children were year 5 and 6 she was still walking them to the front of the lines (even when everyone else was already lining up) she would place her child at the front of the line (neither of her children were SN or needing any help) the rest of the parents just thought she was an idiot.
I know first days are hard on everyone but Helicopter parents make it far far worse

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 04/09/2012 10:08

YANBU, some people are utter tools.

Fair enough if the extended family want to accompany but why can't they remain in the playground whilst one person takes the child into school?

Original poster
D0oinMeCleanin · 04/09/2012 10:08

So most people on here would be understanding if their 5yo was shoved into a wall by an adult for no good reason? Hmm

You wouldn't be angry?

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 04/09/2012 10:08

You can't blame everyone for one parent pushing your child. Yes she shouldn't have pushed your child out of the way, but not everyone is that disrespectful.

Sparklingbrook · 04/09/2012 10:09

It's not the end of the world if a coat ends up on the wrong peg is it?

Rosebud05 · 04/09/2012 10:10

Of course I'd be angry if my children were hurt by an adult in these circumstances. Tbh, I wouldn't take them into a crowded situation with adults behaving like this.