Not to tell one collegue.

[DefinitelyDarwin]

I'm about 6 weeks pregnant and work with three other girls.

I've told the two I get on with, I kind of had to because I was tasked with lifting some really heavy boxes and I said I couldn't and manager wanted to know why. (I've had 2 mc's so I'm really trying to be as careful as possible)

Anyway there's only one girl left who doesn't know and I don't want her to, at least not until its really obvious.

I'm not really very pally with her as she's quite two faced and she's quite centre of the universe.

She never has anything nice to say about anything and actually put in a complaint last Xmas because I couldn't work ( childcare being non existent) and her favourite comment is " well you should have thought about that before having him".

I feel like I'm justified in keeping it shtum

Women, not girls.

All sounds rather childish, but tell who you want.

You don't have to say anything, your business, especially before your first scan.

Good luck.

Of course you can keep it quiet,does she tell you every detail of her private life?No?It's fair enough so,in my opinion.

Congrats on the pregnancy :)

If she is so horrid I doubt she will care, maybe her comments mask jealousy, either way its your business, and up to you.

Sounds a slightly odd situation to be in though, for her to be so bitchy for no reason.

Thankyou, we are ecstatic. (another reason for not telling is because if the conversation doesn't revolve around her then she will just be negative about it and if she says one negative thing about it I think I would probably explode)

Thanks for all the advice

(and we are GIRLs at work :))

Ooo someone got out of bed in the wrong side this morning.

None of us are under 18 but thanks for that!

I would also be pissed at a colleague who can't work Christmas due to child care leaving it to fall to everyone else to cover

Me too fut.

It just wouldn't wash where I work tbh. Nor should it.

Ditto. I certainly never get away with it!!

She was rota'd to work anyway because she is assistant manager. She has to work regardless.

I just couldn't do Xmas eve and boxing day and I told my manger the day I started and he said that's fine.
Now we have less staff we can't take holiday but my manager said I can take unpaid parent leave of she can't rota me around it. so either way I'm not working,

I find it really hypocritical because come jan 1st she books up all bank holidays!

Was it Christmas Day you couldn't work ? Surely your partner (I'm assuming you have one as your are now pregannt for the second time after ttc/miscarriage etc) could have been the childcare for Christmas Day and if it was just the period between Christmas and New Year why didn't you both co-ordinate your leave to cover, that's what parents do if they can't both get time off. There are childminders in most ares of the country who will cover that period (at a price) too.

Have you got childcare in place for this Christmas or are you going to rely on the "non existant childcare" reason again ?

I'd be"unreasonable" about it and make it known I wasn't happy if I was childless and had to work Christmas because those with children "couldn't get childcare".

It's not a valid excuse in most workplaces so YABU about that but it's up to you to tell who you want when you want. If however, you are with-holding the information to point score/make her feel left out, that's just childish.

Sure, she may not be a nice person in some respects (although bear in mind that she is not at fault over the Christmas working complaint, you were, IMHO, at fault there) but do try not to stoop to her level in your day to day work related dealings with her.

She books time off on bank holidays, you could too ! She doesn't play a "poor me" trump card. Why couldn't your partner look after your child on Xmas Eve or Boxing Day ?

Congratulations on your pregnancy .

Of course Yanbu to not tell her, to be honest other people are rarely that bothered by someone else's pregnancy unless they are close.

YABU to write 'tasked'

FFS! What are you supposed to do if you can't get childcare on Christmas Day? Leave the child at home alone so that everybody else can play happy families? I used to use childminders and nurseries for my childcare and have never heard of one that would cater for Christmas Day!

Congratulations, OP! Try to ignore the negativity (on here and at work).

How odd. Because when i worked in the city - those with children ALWAYS got precedence for holidays - simply because it was known schools have holidays - that applied to male and female staff.

It is annoying I know - but then, retrospectively anyone without children would not wish to pay premium holiday prices when schools are out.

Christmas was done on a strict office rota.

BTW - "women" odious term.

AlmostaGoldHipster.

I don't think we're talking about Christmas Day here and both parents having to work Christmas Day ? Very small probability. Where's the wider family in this too? Christmas being a time for getting togther, surely dc (and we're just taling one child here, not 2 or more) could have gone to GP's at a push.

OP is not answering questions re why her partner couldn't be the childcare on Xmas Eve/Boxing Day and that is possibly speaking volumes about her sense of entitlement to those days off because of being a family with children rather than because of "childcare being non existant"

DP can't have him. He works 365 days a year and winter is his busiest time. His workplace isn't safe for a 3 year old.

We can't book holiday because she pens it up first thing 1st jan. it's the only day she's ever early.

I think some of you missed the fact that she HAS to work wether I'm there or not. It's part of her job. My manager rota'd me off. If anyone else would have wanted that they could have done the same. The complaint was completely needless.

when I took the job they know I have children and to make up for it I do cover everyone else's sick days and I will always readily swap hours if someone needs me to.

I know she's going to moan about me going on maternity, I've got ten weeks of holiday plus, saved up to take before then too so she'll have to lump it.

Your DP doesnt have ONE day off work? to quote gordy this smells fishier than a mermaids bathing costume

He works every single day? Is he inefficient or just mad?

Ten weeks of holiday?
Where the hell gives you ten weeks of holiday?

Cokeaholic, sorry I am answering (irrelevant to OP) questions as soon as I can.

We live 4 hours from DPs mum and I do not have any family to take care of ds.

Also we aren't talking about Xmas day, we are shut that day, just Xmas eve and boxing day! TWO DAYS is hardly taking the piss!

Smells fishy to you, I assume you don't have a very wide knowledge of jobs then Gordy.

Am I being unreasonable in asking why this has turned into a witch hunt to expose me as some massive liar?

I personally DO think its taking the piss and I wouldnt be happy to carry other colleagues in this way. Having a child is a piss poor excuse to be unable to work.
Tbh its only on MN ive heard so many people who have absolutley NOBODY to look after their child at any given time.