Not to tell one collegue.

[DefinitelyDarwin]

I'm about 6 weeks pregnant and work with three other girls.

I've told the two I get on with, I kind of had to because I was tasked with lifting some really heavy boxes and I said I couldn't and manager wanted to know why. (I've had 2 mc's so I'm really trying to be as careful as possible)

Anyway there's only one girl left who doesn't know and I don't want her to, at least not until its really obvious.

I'm not really very pally with her as she's quite two faced and she's quite centre of the universe.

She never has anything nice to say about anything and actually put in a complaint last Xmas because I couldn't work ( childcare being non existent) and her favourite comment is " well you should have thought about that before having him".

I feel like I'm justified in keeping it shtum

I'm a Lone Parent, and in NONE of my jobs have I ever worked Christmas day or Boxing day. I happily work NYE, but will not be leaving my DC's without a parent there on Christmas. EVER.

And none of my employers have had an issue with that. When my children are all 16+, I will happily work every Christmas if need be. While they are children? Nope.

Of course you don't have to tell her unless you want to - surely you don't need MN to tell you that? . Though if it's a gossipy type of workplace these things do get around.

If you had Christmas off last year though, it's surely someone else's turn this year? Your lifestyle choices and your childcare arrangements (or lack of) are not really your colleagues' problem.

And btw, other than registered childcare, which is shut over the christmas period, the ONLY person who can have my DC's is my ex. Who HAS to work every other Christmas day, it's written into his contract.

Hence that is 'my' Christmas. Sure as hell wouldn't be working that day when 3 of my 4 DC's are away every other Christmas. And where the hell do you find SEN childcare for a 14yo with Autism on Christmas fucking day?!!

And OP - CONGRATULATIONS!

Congratulations on your pregnancy Darwin.

Definitely don't tell anyone you don't want to about it.

And ignore the fuckwits on this thread!

trazzle I thought that too

Firstly congratulations OP

Some of you on this thread should be ashamed of yourselves, wtf has it got to do with you what her DH does, the OP asked if she was being U to not tell a colleague about her pregnancy, so why feel the need to go off track and basically be nosey just to satisfy your curiosities, it's pathetic.

OP yanbu you tell who you want and when you want, I hope all goes well for you

Just to reiterate what others have said- OP, tell or don't tell, it's up to you! And I agree that some posters need to think about how they are 'talking' to people. It's rude and unnecessary!

Why on earth are we being so mean?

OP YANBU. Tell who you like, when you like.

What the fucking fuck happened on here? The first half of this thread is embarrassing to read. What business is it of anyone here what arrangements the op has made with her manager re Christmas? It's like someone posting to ask how long mushrooms will stay fresh for and being ripped into for having the wrong kind of vegetable rack.

Op, don't tell her if you don't want to.

And ignore the miserable fuckers.

Maybe it's because the OP seemed entirely pointless - why would you need to ask on MN whether it's OK not to tell someone you don't need to tell about your pregnancy? - other than as an excuse to have a go at those nasty childfree types

OP YANBU. Tell or don't tell whoever you chose. It's nobody else's business and nobody else's right to know about your pregnancy.

That also goes for your holiday arrangements, why your friends and relatives can't care for your child or what your husband does for a living.

Oh FFS ephiny it had no more or less point than 95% of all mumsnet threads!

What Erik said.

Congratulations Darwin, you are not being unreasonable. Sorry that there was so much nastiness here.

Where's the wider family in this too?

Well in my case dead. Dont assume everyone has "family" willing and able to do child care.

Congratulations Darwin :) ignore the horrible no need for comments, some people obviously got out of the wrong side Of the bed this morning! And YANBU, you tell who you want to tell xx

YANBU at all it's up to you.

To all the nit pickers, you should really be ashamed of yourselves people come here for support and you start a witch hunt.

Medics/paramedics/nurses all work 365 days if the year and as most a large portion of us are female i'm sure you all have an understanding of the fact that bas the pT working partner often the childcare falls to us to sort out and as somebody who also works Christmas and New year I frigging hate leaving my babies at the holidays so if I could just tell my boss I can't come in and be rosta'd on another day then I frigging would.

If the OP wants to call the girls in her office fanny fucking chmeler and that's ok with them then that is her business. I like being a Girl from time to time, i do not find it disrespectful at all in fact seeing as I can't get away from being a grown up 99% of the time sometimes it's nice to be a girl IMO so get of your high horses.

OP I hope you're ok op.

river sorry to hear that. Same here, but our circumstances are obviously impossible to believe

I am quiet cross that the OP accused me of something I didn't do - I wouldn;t say she was 100% sweet and innocent

pah!

I don't think the op did that on purpose Gordy, the way you were quoted made it look like you said that on this thread.

Congratulations OP! YANBU, perfectly understandable that you wouldn't want to tell some people just yet. There's some really strange and nasty posts on this thread! I hope you're ok!

When I read this post this morning,I actually said out loud ' bunch of cunts '.My DH.nearly dropped down in a dead faint.I very seldom swear but the term seemed to fit the vitriol beeing aimed at the OP.By the by,I worked most Christmases when my lot were younger (nursing).The only time that I had the Festive Season off was when on maternity leave x 3.Fortunately I had a husband and a very close knit family.Not everyone is as lucky.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Tell whom you wish. My dh is a paramedic,on a rotating schedule. He does have days off and puts in for holidays and vacations, always with the understanding they can be cancelled due to operational needs. Good luck!

My DH does pretty much work 365 days a yr, he's a pharmacist and SE and most definitely not an idiot as suggested by another poster, nor doing anything illegal by working these hrs. Not everyone is PAYE with 28 days holiday plus bank holidays, plus pension and paid sick. He may take some days off at Xmas but no more than necessary.

The OP already said, her workplace is SHUT Christmas day, so she's only taking Christmas eve and boxing day off which her manager ok'd, so what's the problem?

I've been the single, childless person working quite a few christmas's, didn't bother me. I personally think Christmas is for children really so was quite happy covering for my very nice colleagues in a quiet office gorging on tins of quality street.