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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About tipping in America

330 replies

AnnaLiza · 30/08/2012 20:52

I was in LA last week and decided to get a haircut so I went to a salon near the hotel which had good reviews. The owner was the sole hairdresser and did a decent job at cutting my hair but it was by no means the best haircut I've ever had. Anyway, when I was paying ($85) his secretary asked "so are you leaving a tip for Nico today?". I must have gone purple as I was not expecting that...I then said "I don't think it's necessary" and hurried out as quick as I could, feeling like the meanest person ever, which I'm not at all.
I can just about undertstand tipping the waiter when there's no national minimum and they rely on tips for a living...but what's the justification for asking for a tip when you're a professional who charges $85 for a haircut? I find it very rude to be asked for money and then made to feel like shit for not forking out more. If you think $85 is not enough then just charge more and let people decide if they want to pay for your services.
Am I missing something?

OP posts:

Trazzletoes · 30/08/2012 23:01

I was threatened and then chased out of a bar in New York with my pregnant friend for not tipping a barman for pouring 2 beers. Apparently it was the crime of the century.

crazycanuck · 30/08/2012 23:04

pantaloons (love your nickname!), when I last worked as a server we did get the tips from card payments. They came out of the till at the end of the night. But I understand it's quite hit and miss with this and some establishments do pocket the tips for themself.

ivykaty44 · 30/08/2012 23:07

If everyone stopped tipping in USA then would the employers have to pay a living wage?

Morloth · 31/08/2012 00:03

When in Rome...

GWenlockMaryLacey · 31/08/2012 00:07

I was on a tour bus in NY a couple of years back and a couple got off without putting anything in the hat. The chap doing the commentary slagged them off to high heaven, saying all sorts of things about them. It was embarrassing. Quite apart from anything, he mentioned the hat more often than anything he was supposed to be pointing out so his commentary was shit.

Thanks about the hairdresser btw AKiss. A tenner is nice and simple for my little brain to compute :o

Naoko · 31/08/2012 00:20

I've never tipped a UK hairdresser, I'd feel odd, but then I go to the kind of hairdresser where they do a shoddy job (as far as I can tell there isn't a better one in town) and no one else tips either.

In the US, though, YABU. They're taxed on presumed tips. You're not refusing to reward them extra, you're making them pay for your principles. If you're ok with that, fair enough, but I'm not, I could never do that to someone who's done a good job and is just trying to make a living. I'd only ever refuse to tip in the US if the service was truly shocking. Just mentally add 20% to the printed prices on the list before deciding if you want to pay for the service in question.

janji · 31/08/2012 00:25

The only people I tip are taxi drivers, hairdressers and waiters ( but only if I feel they are pleasant and have actually offered good service).

GreenD · 31/08/2012 01:40

I'm a man's hairdresser and it is normal to tip 50p or £1, although not everyone does.

monsterchild · 31/08/2012 01:42

I live in the US and i don't tip my hairdresser. She' very nice and good, but knows that I am stretching it to get my hair done in the first place! I do bring her fresh eggs though...

monsterchild · 31/08/2012 01:46

And if the tip is cash for a non-waiter, there isn't a presumed tip on the tax form. that's just for food services, and the company reports tips too, so you have to sort of match up.

cash tips are only recorded based on the culture of the establishment, and as I pay the hairdresser in cash, she doesn't even have to report that as income, does she?

Nandocushion · 31/08/2012 04:17

I have always tipped stylists, both in UK and in North America. I don't know anyone who doesn't. However, they tip more in NA - as others have said, 10% is an insult here, rather than the norm as in the UK.

I felt quite stupid recently when we moved house and I was asked later how much I'd tipped the movers - I hadn't. Frankly, the packers deserved it more, but I didn't tip them either . I think all of them were expecting it and now I feel a bit mean.

I'm curious to hear about the "two-tier minimum wage in the USA" - it certainly isn't that way in Canada. MW is MW.

Nandocushion · 31/08/2012 04:21

And I also agree with Nymia.

kickassangel · 31/08/2012 05:05

Min wage for workers who receive tips is just over $2 an hour. So tipping is expected. Also eating out is cheaper, so you give 20% of a smaller amount, we've found it comes to about the same amount as a tip in the UK would.

Often hairdressers are paying rent on their chair, and they only earn a proportion of the money you pay, so again tipping is expected but 10 to 15% is more normal.

If people do work for you in your house they don't expect a tip as they are probably being paid an hourly rate, around $8 min.

If you buy a drink at a bar or get a pizza delivered you prob just leave a bit of change.

kittyandthefontanelles · 31/08/2012 05:12

My first night in Harlem, the lovely Keith explained to my husband and I, the rule of thumb was 10% or a dollar a beer.

sashh · 31/08/2012 05:12

Yes I tip here always, it's minimum 15% I usually go for closer to 20%. If you don't tip a waiter they will be out of pocket, they are taxed on tips, and it's figured by how much food was bought at their table. So if you don't tip the tax man still takes taxes like you gave them a cash tip.

It's not just the waiter that gets the tip, the waiter has to tip the chef, the bus boy, the .......... well basically they have to tip whether the customer does or not. If you don't tip then the waiter is paying for you to eat.

One of the US chains tried to pay less than minimum wage here because they claimed the wage was made up by tips, they lost their case.

ElaineBenes · 31/08/2012 05:14

I'm in the us. I wouldn't tip the salon owner although would always a otherwise tip the stylist 15-20% unless service was really poor ( and that's probably stingy by us standards). But the owner sets his or her own prices and so shouldn't expect a tip other than for exceptional service.

I hate the tipping culture here. I don't think it improves service, just makes people servile.

NapaCab · 31/08/2012 05:31

Right, so you only tip the bag packers if they help you out to your car? I knew i was doing something wrong! I don't always take them up on the offer of help out to my car but since DS is still in a stroller i sometimes can't manage so do accept. Problem is, half the time I have no cash on me anyway or have my hands full with DS.

My local Whole Foods baggers must hate me now, or more likely just think 'here comes that stingy European woman again'

I'll have to just waddle out to my car laden with bags while pushing DS's stroller with my chin from now on...

CheerfulYank · 31/08/2012 05:35

I always tip waiters/waitresses unless they have done a truly shit job, and hairdressers as well. Not the bag people though.

Spuddybean · 31/08/2012 06:08

I agree that you do what is the local custom. But i also find it eyewatering sometimes. DP never takes it into consideration when selecting somewhere to eat in Canada. He also forgets tax is added on at the end. So we pay 40% more of the menu price.

You look at a menu and think 'hhhmmm well okay $14 for a pizza' but forget it will be closer to $20 and that really adds up when there's a few of you and drinks/dessert too.

Here in the UK, I used to tip at the hairdresser, but that was when i went somewhere where they had Saturday teens/trainees to wash your hair. So i would give them £2. Now the hairdresser does it and they charge so much anyway. I really could not tip 20% of £120. That would make going to the hairdressers prohibitively expensive.

Also DP is dreadful with numbers and finds it hard to work out percentages so sometimes it's pot luck what they get. They either get 40% or just some loose change! Also we never tip on card so it does depend on what cash we have on us.

If you tip on card in the US is that okay?

Trazzletoes · 31/08/2012 06:18

Tbh on the occasion mentioned above, it had completely slipped our minds but after being verbally abused and then people tried to block us from leaving before chasing us out, well, then we chose not to.

Tee2072 · 31/08/2012 06:21

I have never tipped a hair dresser in the UK or US.

Lots of people want to change the min wage law in the US. But it will never happen.

pigletmania · 31/08/2012 07:31

I know it's the norm out there, but I really don't agree with it. It's really sad considering the US is one of the richest countries in the world.

wonkylegs · 31/08/2012 08:38

worldcitizen
I didn't mean that they don't tip all across the US - I meant that apart from restaurants & taxis it varies on the other things that you tip for both in different states, different countries & here across the UK.
Hairdressers, movers, bag packers, gardener, builder, pool cleaner, postman, room service, chambermaid, concierge, valet parking, beautician, cleaner, sales assistant, tattooist, masseuse, tour guide, DJ, catering manager, event organiser, singers & musicians at private events, people who look after pets, coach driver, day care, locksmith, breakdown truck etc etc
I tip when I'm abroad but rarely at home

Aftereightsaremine · 31/08/2012 09:06

Years ago I was staying in a 5* hotel in New York & didn't leave a tip at breakfast. I was telephoned by the restaurant manager & told it was customary to leave a tip. I said it was also customary to receive good service to warrant the tip & then slammed the phone down!

Nancy66 · 31/08/2012 09:11

Pentaloon - if you leave a tip on a card it's unlikely to reach the server.
The best way to ensure it does is to say (when calling for the bill) to leave off the service charge as you'll be leaving cash.

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