About tipping in America

[AnnaLiza]

I was in LA last week and decided to get a haircut so I went to a salon near the hotel which had good reviews. The owner was the sole hairdresser and did a decent job at cutting my hair but it was by no means the best haircut I've ever had. Anyway, when I was paying ($85) his secretary asked "so are you leaving a tip for Nico today?". I must have gone purple as I was not expecting that...I then said "I don't think it's necessary" and hurried out as quick as I could, feeling like the meanest person ever, which I'm not at all.
I can just about undertstand tipping the waiter when there's no national minimum and they rely on tips for a living...but what's the justification for asking for a tip when you're a professional who charges $85 for a haircut? I find it very rude to be asked for money and then made to feel like shit for not forking out more. If you think $85 is not enough then just charge more and let people decide if they want to pay for your services.
Am I missing something?

Good heavens, Novack, do you drink coffee before dinner and gin after? Were you raised by wolves? ;)

novack I am rolling on the floor and laughing tears.

This post is hilarious

I am also a European, and no, you are not expected to wolf down your meal and go.

You are expected to communicate properly with your waiter to get the meal of your choice.
You can socialise to your heart's content while you are eating. Then you are expected to pay and leave, because in doing so you respect the fact that the owner of the restaurant is in the business of making a living and can't do so while your bum occupies his chair unless you order more and then pay for it. You are also expected to respect the fact that the waiter is in the business of plying his trade in order to make a living, and govern yourself accordingly.

Tapas restaurants are another matter. They operate differently.

An alcohol licence in the US will be withdrawn if concerned residents petition the municipality about loud and drunk restaurant patrons leaving and disturbing the neighbourhood. There is almost zero tolerance for public drunkenness or even tipsiness in the US. Other patrons would complain to the management if a party was loud and drinking too much and they would be asked to pay up and leave and this is even true for places that are touristy. The exceptions to this general rule are Las Vegas and New Orleans and even there, restaurants tend not to be the places to get tipsy. If you want to drink you go to a bar. There are bar districts where a certain amount of public drunkenness goes with the territory and there are few residents to complain in those districts anyway.

Ireland a barbarian country? Scotland? Scandinavia?

Actually as a parent I thought the U.S. suited me really well. Always a high chair, always taking my child into consideration, always greeting my child and have a little chat, and not embarrassed when there was a little accident such as child spilled something etc. She loved the crayons and the attention and it was mostly family-friendly no matter how late we went out to eat.
No smoking areas and this was to a time where people could smoke where and when they wanted here in Europe.
And great diaper changing facilities!!!!

The coffee is to wake up after siesta with merienda and it's sherry before dinner.

The Romans never went into Scotland or Hibernian nor did they go to Scandinavia. But you knew that right??

I've only been to the USA once and was happy leaving tips. our only gripe was with a guy in a very average restaurant who wrote calculations on the bill showing the (quite large) amount he expected i think the cheeky fecker got either nothing or a very small tip.

Nobody would bat an eyelid to a child in a restaurant in Italy France or Spain either whether it is the afternoon or midnight.

I do prefer the time of eating in Europe to the states. I find it very odd to eat before 9pm. And i was always in restaurants with parents and their friends in Europe till the wee small hours. I particularly think the Italians are the most child friendly.

Actually the changing facilities for babies were quite poor in America. I could not find a diaper changing station in every public toilet unlike in the UK. What's more, in the US the changing station was normally located inside the disabled cubicle with no sign outside to indicate there was in fact a diaper changing station inside. So I had to take my chances and queue to get the only disabled toilet and not even be sure that it had a changing facility.

And by the way Americans love, love, love spending time in Germany and eat out in Germany!!!!
The love the German bakeries, the cakes, the pies, the deli's, the food, especially in the south and the beer, and they seem to think that they really have good times and get really good value for the price and usually do not moan.

Novack, the whole Romans thing... are you saying that most of the restaurants you went to in the US were run by Native Americans who had missed out on the benefits of Roman culture? Or maybe African Americans? Because if run by white Americans they were as close to the Roman influence as the people currently in Italy or France or England (common ancestors). That is the only way I can get what you are saying to make sense and, frankly, I'm worried it's a bit racist.

Anna my child is much older now, so have no clue how it is nowadays, but in the past, in my experience, the U.S. was ahead of many countries in regards to that. Also, they already had family restrooms in malls etc.

No it was a play words for those who said 'when in Rome' earlier to justify trying to give them money for a poor service in the US because its just that way.

This made me think when we went out for lunch today in the US so thank you

The worst nightmare I ever had with trying to change a baby was in JFK international departures in 1992. The ladies room itself could only be entered via a busy bar and there was a makeup shelf and nothing more for me to change DD1 on.

Things have improved over the intervening years.

JFK is still a nightmare....

A 10% tip if you hate the service? I only tip if they deserve it, like the waitresses in Harvesters being super helpful at large family meals :) If they're just doing their job, that's what they get paid for. Of course, this is in the UK where tips aren't so vital to paying my rent every month (used to work in a bar).

That's the point though, Three. If you read the thread (ok, it would take forever now!) there are people with experience of waiter/server jobs and it is presumed by the IRS that these people are being tipped a certain percentage of the bill, so they are taxed accordingly.

If you tipped someone in the USA less than 15%, they are, in effect, paying for you to eat there because of the tax implication.

Not a great system, but that's not their fault, that's the way it is there. There are different systems/customs in place in all countries and if you choose to visit them it is courteous to respect those systems.

I've worked in over 40 countries over the years and on one of the first things I would do is read up on the local customs. It is just basic manners not to give offence even inadvertently. All countries have customs that seem strange to foreigners and we have our own strange customs here - think queueing for example .

In the States I have never felt rushed or treated in a stereotypical manner because I am British. Maybe it's because I knew what to expect and what was expected of me......or possibly because I was often asked if I was Australian (I don't have an Australian accent) they thought I was a generous Aussie rather than a tight-fisted Brit! Really odd that statistically - to think I was from a country of 20+ million people rather than one of 60m+. Could never work that one out.

I've had the Aussie thing too. I think its to do with not having a 'hollywood' or BBC english accent and not being exposed to regional accents.

I've also been asked what was our first language in Britain (I shit you not) due to my accent. They were being serious.

I was asked if I was Aussie too. I don't have a stage Irish accent.

I was also congratulated by my doctor's receptionist on my English and how quickly I had learned it since arriving.

My dad's a cockney and he gets asked if he's Aussie too. I don't tho, i presume as i have rp.

That's odd then, as I don't have a regional accent. It's very standard BBC English.

Perhaps one of our American posters could explain why some Americans think Brits are Aussies?

No idea why they think you are from Australia, I've been asked if I was Australian, German, Irish and now I'm told I sound like I'm from Boston Mass. I crossed the Atlantic. But I'm Welsh so not really sure what I sound like any more, but at the local school for the last 15 or more years I've been "that Mom with the accent"

The true Boston accent is quite like BBC English. Listen to JFK tapes from long ago. The Rs are quite British.

I don't have a regional accent either unless you count 'south Dublin' -- I suppose it really is a region but it's not the sort of Oirish Accent Americans expect. I think there is an unplaceable accent you could characterise as Dublin 4/6/18 - RTE or RP/ BBC-ish English that confuses Americans used to the Lucky Charms Leprechaun, The Quiet Man, Mary Poppins, etc.