About tipping in America

[AnnaLiza]

I was in LA last week and decided to get a haircut so I went to a salon near the hotel which had good reviews. The owner was the sole hairdresser and did a decent job at cutting my hair but it was by no means the best haircut I've ever had. Anyway, when I was paying ($85) his secretary asked "so are you leaving a tip for Nico today?". I must have gone purple as I was not expecting that...I then said "I don't think it's necessary" and hurried out as quick as I could, feeling like the meanest person ever, which I'm not at all.
I can just about undertstand tipping the waiter when there's no national minimum and they rely on tips for a living...but what's the justification for asking for a tip when you're a professional who charges $85 for a haircut? I find it very rude to be asked for money and then made to feel like shit for not forking out more. If you think $85 is not enough then just charge more and let people decide if they want to pay for your services.
Am I missing something?

Wow, Just read the post from dreaming we had no idea it was like that (moving to DC soon!). We thought the waiters got about $4 per hour and tips just made up a living wage. That's disgraceful. I feel so sad now.

But it also then makes me realise how much more expensive eating out is in the US than face value. And actually yes i would prefer a burger was just priced at $20 as then there is no ambiguity, you know where you are. Also the reason i hated Marrakech was the haggling :) i just want to be told how much things are - whether they are more or less than the price tag it doesn't matter. It just seems so tedious to constantly be working stuff out before you buy them. It is pointlessly complicated.

I used to go out with an American and he was a waiter in NY and said if any brits came in no one wanted to serve them. They would all busy themselves and try to get someone else to seat them so they weren't at their table. Then if they 'got' them they just tried to hurry them along. He said they never tipped or did only a few dollars. He never explained the tipping there tho so i would imagine most people don't realise how bad it is.

So can anyone tell me how it works here? Our waiters get minimum wage don't they? Then what?

I remember one friend worked in Pizza Hut and had to put all of her tips into a 'pool' which then got shared out to everyone (chefs and managers) at the end of the week.

We're in Florida now and other than cheap food places like taco bell or mcd, we've found eating out (not in the parks, I mean restaurants etc) as expensive as eating out in London and that's before adding on the 20%. I love the way they write the suggested tips on the bill so you 'know' how much to leave.

I don't mind tipping on restaurants. I find it annoying to tip barmen for getting a drink at the bar.

Hey thanks Peshwari

Spuddy it was DC I lived in (good luck with the move!) I'm sure some waiters will get more like $4 but again, most of that will go for tax contributions.

I also waitressed in London, I got paid minimum wage plus once a week I was given my 'share' of tips. This could be anywhere from £35 to £60 but it seemed very arbitrary, we were never told what the system for dividing it up was and clearly the managers played favourites and kept a lot for themselves too.

I actually preferred the American system because all the tips were mine. There's nothing worse than being a good waitress but doing worse than some slobby stinky guy because he gets coke for the manager.

Yes yabu you definitely tip in the us and hairdressers, taxi drivers, bar staff etc in the uk

So now where we are talking about who and when to tip.

I have a question about the customs in the UK.

When do you tip bar staff. People seem to not tip and I had some embarrassing situations where I wanted to tip and said something like oh keep the change and they didn't keep it .

Thanks for the clarification dreamingbohemian !

I hate the tipping culture in America. I do it, because I know it's expected and I believe you should fit in with local customs when you visit other countries, bit the expectation of it is just so rude.

I don't see the point of it. Either charge the right amount in the first place or allow tips to be what they are meant to be, which is extra appreciation for extra good service.

It's unfair on customers and unfair on staff.

I take my two ds's to a barbers for their haircuts. I have been going there for 12 years, since ds 1 had his first haircut. They used to charge £8 for one boys cut, so I'd pay a tenner, then the prices went up to £9, I'd still pay a tenner. Now the prices have gone up to £10, and I'm still going to pay a tenner. I can't afford to give out tips, no matter how great the service is. I just don't have that much money to spend on something that I can't avoid paying for. It's the staff that lose out, and I feel bad about that, but the price of living has gone up so drastically that we all have less money in our pockets. I don't see why I shudo have to suck that up but the barbers shouldn't. It's not my fault if their boss doesn't pay them enough.

Omg it's bad, so much dor the American dream eh. One of the worlds richest countries treating its citizens like that, shameful. We complain about £6 minimum wage here, sounds like the pay of an undeveloped country

I don't tip bar staff in the uk but might put something in the jar at the end of the night

I am getting glares here in the US so have been tipping bar staff here but I resent tipping for pouring a beer lol

I never tip in a restaurant in the USA unless it is exceptionally good service and by that I mean quiet and unobtrusive and definitely not the faux cheerfulness that you'd expect as a disney store entrance and even then it will never be a percentage of the bill but just a dollar or two at most.

I don't understand people who only respect the cultural traditions they agree with. Missing the point entirely.

Especially as none of the things you are tipping for are, like, life's necessities. You don't have to eat out at a restaurant or go to a hairdresser. These are luxuries. It seems churlish to be willing to spend a lot of money on something unnecessary but then unwilling to cough up $5 for the person serving you.

Worldcitizen With bar staff in the UK you may say 'And one for yourself' once they've served your drinks. They will add the cost of the drink to your bill and have it as a liquid tip/or cash at the end of the shift.

Its not expected, just an added bonus. Usually only done by regulars who know the bar staff rather than randoms who have just come in on a once off.

Please help me with the tipping hairdressers thing (in the UK).

If the haircut was say £60, should you tip £12? (or round up or down the 20%)? In cash presumably - who do you give it to, how, and what do you say? If someone else is putting the bill through do to say "please could you give this to Charlie" or something?
How (physically) do you tip the hairwashing person? Do you rummage in your bag awkwardly as they put the towel on your head? How much? Do you have to keep a folded note palmed ready to slip across?

I hate this with the hairdresser, really hate it. I tip effortlessly in all other contexts, including knowing how to do it in pubs in Merseyside where "keep the change" or "take your own" is standard (we look down on southerners who do not know how to do this). (Or used to?) But I just can't deal with salons. Please advise me.

Actually you do need ot eat at a restaurant if you are on holiday to visiting. The person serving you, or as we say in English, the waiter, is an employee not a random person off the street picking up my plate for me. The proprietor, or as you might know them, the folks what owns the joint, should pay their staff. Remember we gave you lot independence when you wanted NO taxation without representation so don't go taxing my meal.

KitCat oh I see, so you can say and one for yourself, and then they are not even pushed into drinking, cause they could even decide what they do with it. i see, well that's a good way. And do they then choose which drink they like, right?! I assume they will be well-mannered enough not to pick something very expensive

Oh and the only place I will tip is in Spain because they are also the only country who will invariable serve you a cognac or and extra gin, glass of wine, etc AFTER you've paid the bill.

Is it really standard to tip bar staff up north?

Are you meant to do that with every drink you buy, or is just once for the night enough? What about if you are served by different bar staff each time you get a drink?

And is serving a half a larger really worthy of a tip? Really?

I find it odd that people would look down on southerners for not tipping. Tips in the UK are in recognition for excellent service, they are not there to pay for someone doing the job for which they are already paid.

Novack, holidays are a luxury too.

I take it that you also refuse to pay the sales tax on your meal then?

You can buy food at the supermarket on holiday if you don't want to tip. We do that anyway to keep costs down, even if staying in a hotel.

And no its not standard to tip bar staff up north. Some places in Liverpool or Manc might be more inclined to encourage it, but its certainly not standard.

Sales tax is a compulsory tax no different to IVA or VAT and is unavoidable. Arbitrary money grabbing for just doing your job is not.

I tip when I am in the US, but it is a terrible practice for Americans to export. It distorts economies, it's inflationary, and has terrible social ramifications.

I've travelled a lot in SE Asia, and what it means is that there's no point being a teacher or a doctor in somewhere like Cambodia, because you'll be earning MUCH less in a month than someone carrying the suitcases at a posh hotel or driving tourists around in a tuk tuk.

Would you do your skilled socially worthy job if waiters and people who were lucky enough to come into contact with visiting foreigners got thrown hundreds of pounds a day? Because in relative terms, that's exactly what happens.

So you are happy for people to get a wage less than is liveable on?

Personally I don't believe thats fair anywhere, whether it be africa or america.

People don't have a choice but to take jobs for that low a salary in the US unfortunately. I don't support slave labour so I pay the way the same way as the rest of the culture in the US to prevent that because I understand how their system is set up and is different to ours. Its completely different to tipping/not tipping here.

I don't have to like it or think its right, but the way they get their wages calculated INCLUDES tips, so if I don't tip they are underpaid for doing their job.

Will never forget our experience in NY pre-baby. Cab driver charged £80 all inclusive according to the advert. When we got to hotel DH passed him £80 got out and taxi driver started yelling and having huge go at him. It was awful.

DH made valid point of saying to cab driver that if the only thing included is the drive to the hotel it is not all inclusive it is just a cab fare. Driver was not happy.

I ended up resenting the states a bit for their attitude to tipping. Tipping for everything means that service people will not care how shit their service is.

yesiamgreedy its definitely true that tipping can be dangerous.

Its funny you should mention that as Hilary Brandt (who started Brandt Guides) did a piece for wanderlust magazine on the problems with tipping last week. She's trying to promote a new book on the subject - which tbh I think is a very good idea - both to save embarrassment and to stop problems occurring.

It really does highlight why you should understand the local culture before you go somewhere.