This was an unneccessarily bitchy comment?

[HGAFC]

I've name changed for this as have a sneaking suspicion SIL may be a MNer.

I'm completely prepared to be told that IABU and being far too sensitive and precious however, the more I think about this, the more it's niggling at me.

On Sunday we went to PILs for lunch and whilst there, discussion turned to mine and DPs wedding next year. DP made a comment that we might hire a hog roast rather than do a buffet at an overpriced hotel for the evening reception. At this point MIL burst into absolute gales of laughter before turning to her sister and saying 'Oh my goodness, how funny! Weren't we just saying? Weren't we JUST SAYING that you two would probably just go to a registry office and then hire a burger van?'

We must have both looked pretty at this point because she tried to rectify it by adding 'Oh, it's just we didn't think you'd have a big, posh wedding like SIL...'

No, we won't. Because both she and the aunty paid entirely for SIL's wedding, a sum that SIL has on many an occasion, informed me cost over £20,000. I'm not complaining, it's entirely up to them to spend the money on her and not on DP. However, because we already live together in a rented house with all the bills that entails, are saving for a deposit and have a DS, we have nowhere near that kind of money.

This level of rudeness on her part is, I'm sure, contributing to DP turning his nose up at every budget suggestion I make for our wedding, he's obviously trying to compete with his sister.

So, was it just me? Or was she incredibly rude and should I, in hindsight, have come out with the MN classic 'Did you mean for that to sound so rude?'?

Oh and even my DM, who hated the idea, said afterwards that it was a great meal, everyone loved it. We sat down to eat btw but had no seating plan.

Did anyone see the awful wedding on Superscrimpers tv programme the other day. The guests instead of presents had to bring their own buffet food.

you missed the opportunity to use the MN classic line

the best most enjoyable wedding I have been to and I generally hate weddings showy boring affairs it was relaxed and fun with good food

Ooh just had an idea . . . traditional pie, mash and liquor! That would be good.

[drools]

What on earth is liquor?! Round here it would be ham and pease pudding stotties with Newcy Brown!

Its the green gravy that you have on traditional eastend pie and mash.

I don't know what any of that stuff you just mentioned is either.

Liquor is a disgusting bright green vinegar parsley sauce which in London & Essex accompanies pie & mash or eel & mash and is the devil's weewee

I had a hog roast as an evening buffet. Soooo tasty unlike disgusting liquor

Guess who won't be getting an invite to my wedding.

I love hog roast.
Ds1 had a hog roast at his 18th and I am practically the fucking Queen.

Hog roasts remind me of Donno Market.

We considered one for our own wedding though, so I'm not casting aspersions or owt, just making an observation.

They remind me of County Fairs Vivi...

... But that's okay because I like County Fairs

Love a good hog roast.....get two piggies if there are a few people there tho, they realy don't stretch that far.

I'd have laughed right back in her face, and told her that you like the idea of a hog roast that you'd still be having it even if somebody gave you 20k to pay for your wedding like SIL got.

I suppose you could mistake Donno Market for a country fair. At 100 metres. If you squint.... and there was a mural of a country fair between you and the plebs...

No seriously, I'm just being a dick, I think hog roasts are cool, it's just all you smell there so it reminds me of the place!

I think a burger van sounds fab!

I cannot be doing with competitive wedding rudeness. Especially of the passive aggressive kind that is difficult to counter!

But I would say that hog roasts are very far from burger vans. I've been to several vair posh weddings which had one. I'd also say that there is no guarantee that a sit down meal in a hotel will actually deliver the required dietary options. I've been to at least one where the veggie option was described as "I think it's been eaten by other people and we've run out". This despite correct numbers being given well in advance. A good hog roast includes a deal more than just a pig on a stick.

How did she get "burger van" from "hog roast"? She sounds like a toolbag. Hog roast is a fabulous option, I have been to several weddings where they had it and they were just delicious and also quite posh (the weddings, not the hogs!).

@ toolbag

Its rude. Ignorant. And you shouldn't invite them on the grounds that

"Well I didn't think you were into cheap weddings and would feel uncomfortable and out of place"

has she even acknowledged that she is not helping out with this wedding?! she paid for all of her daughters, and sneers at the plans you might make as you haven't got a massive budget??!! sorry but WTF?? why is she not helping out with the cost at all? fairs fair. think she's being a right bitch tbh.

and i too love a hog roast!! but have a marrow roast 4 the veggies too :)

Well I went to a wedding (not sure if you would call it posh, just what everyone has nowadays) a few weeks ago and they had the usual 'posh' bit then a hog roast at night. All the food was fantastic

Is a hog roast a whole piggy on a spit? With its head and everything still intact?

< lowers the tone >

Loopyloo - yes that is exactly it.

DH and I are going to the wedding of one of his collegues next month. Bride is very very posh from an extremely wealthy farming family. They are having wedding on their estate and they are having a hog roast at the reception. If she is doing it, it definitely is not the equivalent of a burger van (my only crisis is what to wear for outside hog roast in sept).

I had sausage and mash at mine as although it was a sit down meal, I wanted to avoid the dried up chicken thing.