to avoid my ungrateful inlaws in my own house?

[CravingSunshine]

We've already had it out and now it's bubbling up again. Anyone else got UNBEARABLE ones? With 2 babies and as a slightly reluctant SaHM, I spend most of the day doing tedious housework. When they come to 'help', instead of helping they play with the children and I do even more housework. They never ask me any questions about myself or anything else. In fact, I'm basically a conduit to the grandchildren.
Tonight I cooked a nice 2-course (was meant to be 3 but was too furious to do dessert) meal, served it up, served wine, cleared the plates and then did the entire wash up and cleaned the kitchen whilst they (including DH) sat in the dining room drinking wine and NOBODY offered to help. When I went back in to collect any more 'empties', I found FIL sitting in my chair. It's Goldilocks in its most extreme form.
So now I'm in a complete strop and can't be bothered to even try and converse but at 9.30 it's too early to go to bed.
Please can someone else share their horrendous inlaw tales.

That sounds GRIM!

Can you take a bottle of wine upstairs and read a nice book?

They are (not nice) guests and as such don't have to wash up.

Your DH though

I would have gone all PA and stomped about saying 'No, really, it's fine! I bought it all, cooked it all, served it all, might as well do ALL IF THE CLEANING UP MYSELF TOO'

Sorry but why are you annoyed with your inlaws about this instead of your DH?

oooh eck, can see why you are annoyed.

Being a bit of a gobshite, i would have said along the lines of " whos washing & whos drying, cos im relaxing after cooking that lot"!!

Lets just say i dont get on with my pil, prob becasue i am such a gobshite...BUT it gets stuff done!

i have to ask, did you request that anyone helped you? if not, there's a touch of the burning martyr in the air.

They come to see the DGC and then play with them!?!? BASTARDS

Use paper plates next time. Have picnic on floor pretend for kids. Don't help as they struggle to get their ageing bones up and down. What can they say, nice for kids. Seek out a wine with bad review ie gives pounding headaches. Leave sharp proddy toy buried on your chair for Fil next time. Rude gits.

Martyrs choose to be martyrs - try "I'll wash, you dry" and instigating a conversation with them?

I'm wondering why the DH wasn't helping to cook, serve and clean up while his parents played with the kids.

It's how it works in my house.

If you act like a doormat you'll get treated as one. I too would have said, 'right, who's on dishes duty...and I'll have a nice brew while you're in there'. Some folk are just thick skinned.

I'd be happy if somebody came to visit and played with my DCs and let me get in with some cleaning though I agree with others that DH should be helping you

Your issue with your IL's is hard to judge as on the surface they havent done much wrong but I suspect that there is more to it than that.

Your DH however deserves a fecking roasting for not helping, and you need a bit of a kick up the bum for being a matyr and not asking him to help.

martyr

I sympathise, mine are here at the moment and staying until Saturday

We have language/culture differences which makes it really difficult but I just find my FiL plain rude and I know it's not accidental...

I have had strong words with my DH but he just seems to crumble around his Dad.

Won't hijack your thread any more let's have some

I can recall one very hot Summers day, we'd just moved into our house the week before and the inlaws came to stay the weekend . To help they said.... Our garden was jungle like and we were attacking it.. Well I was, my MIL was and my DP was. My FIL sat in the middle of the overgrown grass with his Saturday paper reading whilst we worked around him.

At 4pm he tapped his watch and said "Ahem.." after several "Ahems" he suddenly yelled "Oi, Pancakeflipper, have you seen the time? It's time for my glass of wine. Chop chop love."

Why are u doing so much cleaning?

mine started xmas dinner without me. I have mentioned this on many threads and will continue to do so.

They
are
fuckers

If I've cooked I just sit there until DH cracks and does the washing up. He then gets kisses and told how lovely he is and I get kisses and told how wonderful the meal was.

Just don't start washing up.

xmas dinner at my fucking house that is

It's nice they play with the kids

Why not just get takeaway next time?

I never understand all this martyrdom stuff

It's nice they play with the kids

Why not just get takeaway next time?

I never understand all this martyrdom stuff

My inlaws used to do this. Now I just smile sweetly and say "would you mind clearing the table please?". They are too shocked / polite to refuse.

I also pointedly say things like "I could really do with some help with the vegetables" and fix MIL with a steely stare.

I really couldn't care less whether they are happy with this or not.

Inlaws are like dogs. They need to be trained.

Fortunately DH backs me all the way.

Pancake PLEASE tell me you poured it over him, the lazy fucker!