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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBu retaliating re the rude woman in the carpark

543 replies

olympicsrock · 26/08/2012 16:00

Yesterday morning I went to the supermarket. I was in a hurry as I had to finish a pavlova to take to a friends party. The supermarket was packed and traffic was standing waiting for spaces (one in one out). I was politely queueing when a driver got into her car just ahead of me obviously about to vacate a space. I waited behind the space indicating left that I was waiting . I gave her enough room and time to manoevre out. As she was doing this I saw an old woman in a bettered car behind me trying to squeeze down the inside to pass me and making it difficult for the other driver. I hooted as she almost scraped my car. To my disbelief she then swung into the space I had patiently waited for. I wound down my window to state the obvious that she was taking my space. She replied "so what" . I said you can't do that, we are all waiting". She relied I can do what I like. Two other drivers who had witnessed this also got out of cars to back me up. I was livid. In the end the parking warden came to sort it out. He pointed out another space ahead now empty and asked me to park in it. I did . I returned to speak to the other woman (aged about 80, dark glasses and very snotty). She continued to be rude when I repeated that her behaviour was unacceptable, and rude. After finishing my shopping 10 minutes later I was still very shaken up and angry. I tool a carton of cream from my bag and dribbled the word RUDE on her windscreen before driving off.

OP posts:
Ephiny · 30/08/2012 14:03

The cream thing sounds a bit unlikely. Unless it was one of those aerosol squirty whipped cream things.

Yes she was rude and inconsiderate to grab the space when it could reasonably have been considered 'yours', but it's really not worth having an argument over - what a waste of time and energy.

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 30/08/2012 15:33

no chinley i have not failed to realise, that senerio was already covered further up in the thread. do you not have your reading glasses on?

RGPargy · 30/08/2012 15:42

I wouldn't have had the guts to do that lol. Very funny tho hehehe :o

chinley · 30/08/2012 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 30/08/2012 17:21

no but enough time to reply to my "rubbish" Hmm

chinley · 30/08/2012 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iris1965 · 30/08/2012 17:29

Do we yet know which WAITROSE this was? Too lazy to read whole thread though have been following it a bit. Worried it was my mother Blush

spothemistake · 30/08/2012 17:52

For shhhhhh/flora and anyone else who thinks its acceptable to key cars for poor parking, I hope you look for a blue badge first. I have a disabled ds and have been told by supermarket staff that when the disabled bays and p&c spaces are full that I may legitimately park across two bays to enable me enough space to set up ds's wheelchair.

I don't suppose I am going to change your mind about what you do as you have evidently insisted that your actions are justified but I'd like you to consider the following:

  1. how would you feel if, after a minor driving error, that person followed you and bumped you from behind. Presumably you would think this was unacceptable behaviour but it is only an extension of your behaviour towards bad parkers. By your logic, a misdemeanour deserves a bigger punishment.

  2. you seem quite judgemental about people's ability/inability to park well and claim to be a good Parker. However, ime it is the people who are most arrogant about their driving ability who make the worst drivers. No driver is perfect, even you. Do your 'mistakes' warrant damage to your car by the victims? Also, there are many reasons that someone might be bad at parking. Supermarket parking at busy times and under pressure is not something they teach you during your lessons, not is it assessed as part of a test. Poor parking could be as a result of inexperience but they have to learn sometime. Why does this warrant keying by someone like you? It might be easy for you to swing your modestly sized car into a space first time, not so easy if you drive a huge vehicle like myself (which is necessary for ds). Parking spaces are becoming smaller and more tightly packed together making them harder to manoeuvre into.

  3. and most importantly - for me this is not about the actual damage, nor the cost of the repair (although it is not to be ignored). It is that feeling you get when you have been the target if a criminal (and yes, what you are doing is criminal damage). I don't know if you've ever been the victim of crime but I can tell you it's not pleasant. The feeling that you were targeted, that somebody saw you as weak, that you were right when you think that the whole world is full of horrible and nasty people. It stays with you for weeks and months and you never quite forget. Yes it is truly horrible and I am not ashamed to say that there have been moments in my life where such actions might have pushed me over the edge. I realise that sounds melodramatic but it is the truth. When you feel that the whole world is against you and then somebody maliciously damages your property, you lose a bit more faith in the world. I would doubt very much that these people are even connecting the keying with their parking. They will more likely be thinking its a random act of destruction. I know I would. Why not write a post it note instead? I'd say it was more effective and the person might think twice before leaving their car badly parked.

The world is full of horrible and selfish people and I plead to your good nature to next time, just think for a second. That us a person you are doing this to, not just their property. You don't know their life circumstances and you will never know the full and potential effect on that person. Honestly, I have been shocked that someone has openly admitted they do this. What happened to people wanting to be part of a community that looks after one another. Please, next time, just think.

tryingtonotfeckup · 30/08/2012 17:56

Spotthemistake, wonderful post. So right in so many ways.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 30/08/2012 18:00

Good postspotthemistake.

Tiredmumno1 · 30/08/2012 18:12

Spotthemistake well done you for taking the time to do that post, unfortunately I am going to guess she has either left or name changed, which doesn't surprise me. I agree with everything you have put Smile

ShiftyFades · 30/08/2012 18:13

Hear hear.
I would add that you have no idea of the state of mind of someone who's "parked badly", they may be exhausted through working nights / having a baby / insomnia. They might have just lost some dear to them and are barely functioning.
Their partner may have just left them. The list goes on as to why someone may not "care" how they parked.

And of course someone may have just lost their job, be distraught and can ill afford to repair the damage a criminal has now caused to their car.

It's really very thoughtless, sick, nasty as well as being illegal.

OhChristFENTON · 30/08/2012 18:30

Unfortunately you do not have to have empathy in order to obtain a driving licence, if you did there would be rather less shit road users about.

You also do not have to have the foresight to I consider that if someone else appears to have parked like a tit it may well have been the result of another driver, or a number of other drivers before them parking like tits.

But then some people just shouldn't be driving should they? - or even mixing with other human beings for that matter.

Cynner · 30/08/2012 18:52

Thank you Spot for your articulate post. My question to the OP would be thus; Are you so perfect that you have not done something that has pissed someone else off? Did you come out to find your property damaged? If you did how did that make you feel?
How we cope with adversity is barometer of our character.

CockyPants · 30/08/2012 18:53

Thread isn't about piss poor parking. It's about some old CHUNT the h is silent nicking a space that OP was waiting politely for.
Pedantic, moi?

CockyPants · 30/08/2012 18:54

If it was Just a Minute I'd be buzzing deviation..

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 30/08/2012 18:54

I will check in future for a blue badge. You will of course need to park across 2 spaces if you need wheelchair access, and i would not want to cause any extra trouble for someone like yourself spothemistake

I would not want to cause anyone any trouble if like spothemistake they had a genuine reason. eg a blue badge.

shiftfades i couldnt care less about the shite reasons you listed!

CockyPants · 30/08/2012 18:58

Shhhhhh have you ever heard the phrase tactical withdrawal? You might be happy with your attitude and behaviours, but it's become clear that not everyone concurs with you....

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 30/08/2012 18:59

Like i have said many times cockypants i didnt ask people to concur. I didnt ask for opinions on it. i was just saying. so everyone can think what they like!

olympicsrock · 30/08/2012 19:02

Thanks cocky - just to reiterate I did not commit criminal damage , key cars and the problem was not poor parking - it was a rude old twunt who deliberately took my space and nearly scraped my car in the process.
For anyone worried that it may have been their mum , I may or may not live in bucks Grin

OP posts:
ShiftyFades · 30/08/2012 19:11

Oh shhhhh I don't normally have any empathy for criminals but you clearly have some underlying issues that cause you to have such appalling disregard for your fellow human.

I really do pity you Sad

gimmecakeandcandy · 30/08/2012 19:15

Flora sounds like she has mental health problems - seriously love you need to see your doctor as you are unstable ans with every hysterical post you sound even more unstable. You also sound like a real nasty fool.

Get some help.

ShiftyFades · 30/08/2012 19:18

I hope she seeks help too. Must be dreadful to have such anger control problems. There must be something significant going on to cause her to turn to criminality.

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 30/08/2012 19:20

i dont need help, what i do is therapy enough

Tiredmumno1 · 30/08/2012 19:22

No you definitely need help