To think that piercing a toddler's ears isn't right?

[slatternlymother]

An acquaintance of mine has updated on FB about having her 17mo dd's ears pierced this afternoon and has uploaded photos of how 'lovely' she looks.

I can't believe this is even legal! Is it? I'm quite shocked actually, I've never given it that much thought but surely the child should have some kind of choice? What about infection? I remember getting mine done and it hurt quite a bit actually, and I found it quite hard to sleep etc.

I hope they at least gave the little one some kind of numbing cream.

It's really pretty for girls though

In my culture it is the norm. For you 'shocking' but for others completely normal.

YANBU. I absolutely cannot understand why anyone would willingly inflict pain, no matter how brief, on an individual who is incapable of voicing an opinion eitherway. For aesthetic/vanity/cultural/whatever reason. To me, it's unfathomable. And I truly don't "get" the cultural thing. Just because everyone else in that culture does it as a "cultural" thing does not change the fact that a hole, where there's not meant to be a hole, is being punctured through skin. Voluntarily on behalf on an individual who cannot express or verbalise their disapproval.

It just screams "CHAV".

Dippy what is the cultural view? What does a hole in the ear signify exactly? Or is it just "the done thing"?

Well, then despite a Master's degree, I must be a chav! Both of my daughters had their ears pierced by 12 months.My son's were circumcised according to Jewish law. Having an opinion that differs from other's is acceptable, resorting to name calling is not. Chav indeed...

Yes, CHAV.

really some need to read up and understand what abuse is
ear piercing is not abuse, it hurting a child is not nice but it is not done to be cruel which abuse is, it is intentional harming of someone. Holding a child down who does not want to have their ears pierced is not right and should not be done but abuse no (unless it is done to deliberately inflict pain which i think is unlikely

and comparing it to circumcision, if you are talking about female yes that is abuse as it is about control though it is not that simple as that. is a mother who takes her daughter to be circumcised an abuser i would not .likely she is doing it out of fear as some communities shun young women that have not been circumcised male circumcision is not about control at all it is about hygiene

all my nieces have had their ears pierced are my aunts and uncles abusers no. I had mine done at 3 or 4 my nanny took me, was she abusive no i wanted it done and could twist her round my little finger

Well darling, you must be a treat to be friends with. Perhaps your children's ears are too ugly to be pierced? You do not wish to draw attention to them, perhaps?

Cynner were your daughter's ears pierced in religious grounds then? if so, could you explain the reasons why?

calling others chav is so last year

and even then it made you look the fool for needing to call others names based on appearance most thankfully grow out of this when they leave primary school

No, I just don't believe in putting my DCs through pain just to fit in with the neighbours who think it's okay to chop bits off or put holes in their DCs bodies in order to keep some higher being happy.

I do think it is unnecessary and a bit urggh hate the term chav, but I don't think it is abusive. I mean by 4months most babies have been pierced with at least 6 needles and injected with many vaccinations, so a quick and hopefully numbed injection through the earlobe wouldn't be as bad, I would think. However, yanbu to judge it a bit, I do when I see it. It just makes me think that some parents immediately want their children to be mini-mes iykwim.

You cannot compare vaccinations (a procedure that keeps children safe from disease) with ear piercing or circumcision ( a procedure carried out purely for parental vanity).

Shakey it is the done thing I guess. In my case I had my ears pierced when I was about 3. My neice had hers done recently and had wanted to wear earrings for a while and was looking forward to being able to do so. She had it done and you could see it hurt as her eyes welled up but then she picked out her first earrings and was happy. It isn't that we want to inflict pain on children, we're not child abusers! Laughable.

MrsPJ you cannot call ancient and established religious practises "parental vanity".

that is your choice

i am assuming that you are not jewish or muslim or come from a background where ear piercing is the norm at a young age if you were you may feel differently i could be wrong of course

I've not called it abuse Dippy? But I am interested in the "cultural norm" stance.

So, (genuine question, not meant to sound arsey) being as you say "we don't want to inflict pain on children" how do you defend that statement being as ear piercing does inflict pain? Can I ask what culture this comes from? And, what the ear piercing in this culture signifies/represents?

It is forcing a child to do something when they are too young to make their own choice about the matter.
That is wrong.
How would you feel if they developed a serious infection because of your actions?

I'm 40, still get the heebie Jeebies at the thought of piercings. The thought of doing it to a baby makes me shudder.

And, just to clarify....how does having a Masters stop you from being a chav?

Shakey it is pain but my purpose for doing it is not to inflict pain on the child, it is because the child wants to wear earrings! I would never force it on my child but if she wants to wear earrings then I don't see the harm. I don't think it looks awful, I think it looks nice. Each to their own.

I think this debate is a cultural one, to people who don't have a cultural background where this is done it appears 'shocking' but to people like myself it is a case of 'so what?'. There is no cultural significance in getting ears pierced, it is just normal to do so in my culture, and I am Indian.

I had my ears pierced aged 3, I can still remember getting them done, how the room looked and what sort of seat I sat on. I can also remember a few weeks later lying face down on my mams bed, pinned down while her friend tried to dig the butterflies out of my lobes as they had become imbedded. It was pretty horrific.

I don't have any dds but if I did would not even consider getting their ears pierced.

What is the cultural significance to ear piercing?

well i would feel guilty of course

circumscision if i were jewish or muslim (which is done at an older age) i am sure i woudl think it was the right thing to do. i am aware that some are now (very few) taking a stand against it but why would i think it is wrong when it is a fundemental part of both religions

why should religion and culture constantly be reformed by western ideals of what is or is not fashionable at the time. ear piercing is very quick, little pain. nose piercing is worn by some to show they are married by others to show a coming of age (when a girl starts her periods) and for some younger its part of some asian culture and many want to rightly hold on to something that has had not an influence from the west and it has become popular again