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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that piercing a toddler's ears isn't right?

195 replies

slatternlymother · 21/08/2012 19:16

An acquaintance of mine has updated on FB about having her 17mo dd's ears pierced this afternoon and has uploaded photos of how 'lovely' she looks.

I can't believe this is even legal! Is it? I'm quite shocked actually, I've never given it that much thought but surely the child should have some kind of choice? What about infection? I remember getting mine done and it hurt quite a bit actually, and I found it quite hard to sleep etc.

I hope they at least gave the little one some kind of numbing cream. Sad

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 21/08/2012 20:27

tbh i really don't care what people on an internet fourm thinks of my dd having her piercied.

after i read this I would worry about infection and so ii will be looking for recommendations and vigilant after care

giveitago · 21/08/2012 20:28

Oooh done to death surely - and things do change in society as if there were a mn when I was young they'd be calling for the hanging of parents that let their kids (and we're talking girls really, aren't we) at 15.5 years have their ears done. It was a right of passage for 16 year olds.

Same sort of person now saying that for under 10's it's pretty vile.

Personally I don't care. If I had a dd no idea if I'd have got them done. I had mine done as a toddler. No issues. They had to invent a school rule on earring just for me I think. Never infected - never and issue - never an accident - I wasn't exactly walking around with great hoops or anything.

Just don't get the thing except I've seen lots of white european looking kids with earrings recently and people were really looking at them and sneering a bit.
Just one of our little complexities of so called multiculturalism on this forum.

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 21/08/2012 20:37

if you're worried about infection here's a great tip! take em out!

MrsRhettButler · 21/08/2012 20:38
Original poster
slatternlymother · 21/08/2012 20:42

Wow! This thread is moving fast!

I'm not sure if I'd call it child abuse, I was more thinking there should be a minimum age (say 5) so the child at least knows what's going to happen. There's no way a 1 year old can 'agree' to it or even 'appreciate' them for their prettiness.

And what about nursery? I can imagine their sparkliness could be irresistible to other children.

OP posts:
peanutMD · 21/08/2012 20:42

McHappy - my friends dad is a tattooist/Piercer dude and although he sells the after care lotion he recommend using cooled, boiled water with salt and a cotton bud.

I've always done this with my ears and other piercings and never had an infection and is a lot cheaper/sensitive in soon :)

NovackNGood · 21/08/2012 20:45

That should be the rule for circumcision. Ask the five year boy if he wants part of his willy chopped off by a friend of the family? I imagine the rate would go down rather rapidly in one generation.

Original poster
slatternlymother · 21/08/2012 20:46

novack is it true that the religious circumcision on very little babies is done without anaesthetic?

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 21/08/2012 20:50

Well I think they use anesthetic sprey, but no bloody way would I want bits chopped off me without a bloody spinal

KittieCat · 21/08/2012 20:56

I'm de lurking on an earring thread to say that I honestly cannot understand any parent wanting to inflict a second's unnecessary pain on their child for the sake of 'vanity'.

I saw a baby boy of about 18mo with a single piercing in his left ear and ... wait for it... a great big clear sparkly stud in it! Nice.

As for circumcision I don't think the term abuse is too strong at all.

NovackNGood · 21/08/2012 20:57

It's not abuse. It's MUTILATION.

MrsRhettButler · 21/08/2012 20:59

its a tiny hole in an ear.

KittieCat · 21/08/2012 21:00

That as well, Novack

girliefriend · 21/08/2012 21:07

For me the thought of deliberately inflicting unnecessary pain on the most important little loved one in my life seems ludicrous and it baffles me as to how any mother could do it but hey ho Hmm

2blessed · 21/08/2012 21:21

I was talking about recommendations of piercers and vigilant after care to avoid infection is standard for any procedure, surely?

Original poster
slatternlymother · 21/08/2012 21:40

girlie that's it. In none of the photos is the little girl smiling, and she's normally really smiley and sweet. She looks downright miserable and tbh I don't blame her! She wouldn't have known what was coming; she'd just have suddenly been in pain. And I'm sure, for some people that having their ears pierced that it 'didn't hurt a bit' or whatever, but I actually found it to be quite sore for quite a whole after. Turning and cleaning them stung for the first couple of weeks, too.

OP posts:
bubalou · 21/08/2012 21:52

I haven't read other peoples posts.

I think it's fucking sick & I have quite strong feelings about this.

I hate DS being in pain. It's selfish to put your child thru pain that they don't have to - just bcoz u think it's 'cute' for them to wet earrings.

Let them make their own mind up when they're older.

Angry
SomebodySaveMe · 21/08/2012 22:03

It's just pierced ears. Completely different from circumcision and different from abuse, smacking or any of that. I fail to see how this gets people so irate and actually never knew it was that big of an issue until I joined mumsnet. It's not lasting pain/suffering and doesn't lead to psychological trauma. Providing that the piercing is cared for properly then it's just earrings. It shouldn't be that big a deal. Either you have their ears pierced or you don't.

giveitago · 21/08/2012 22:33

Buba - I had mine done in about 1972 on a doctor's table in an east african country and I was about 4 or 5 - no funny gun thing but with some curved thing and I had cotton with lemon juice in my ears for 6 weeks. That climate and all and I didn't have an infection. I'm alive. I'm not emotionally scarred.

I'm so pleased it was done then because I am shite scared of needles and stuff (had my nose pierced in Kensington high street in the 80's and nearly fainted) and I was just laughing at all friends who had their ears pierced at 16 and they were talking themselves into it and with their parents permission for about two years prior.

I think with ear piercings it's each to thier own really. I have ds and quite honestly I'd want to have any ds of mine with pierced ears early but it's the mumsnet stuff that puts me off my instincts completely.

Don't do it if you have any doubts and if you have it done don't have it done at one of those high street funny places that sell plastic stuff to young people.

giveitago · 21/08/2012 22:35

Somebody - the psychological trauma is from mnetters.

mummypig189 · 21/08/2012 22:36

YADNOTBU

neuroticmumof3 · 21/08/2012 22:46

I think it's pretty horrible and wouldn't allow my dd to have her ears pierced at a young age. Thankfully she's never bought the subject up, possibly because I don't wear earrings myself (although my ears are pierced, I just can't be arsed). I particularly dislike the look of toddler boys with shaved heads and pierced ears. It's a popular look where I live but not to my taste.

bubalou · 21/08/2012 22:49

Mumsnet is about opinions. I am open to people's opinions on fashion, what people prefer to cook, styles of parenting, relationship advice etc. I like hearing other people's views.

I think inflicting pain on a child that is not old enough to make a rational choice is selfish. Fucking selfish.

This is my opinion.

DrCoconut · 21/08/2012 23:02

There's nothing wrong with earrings if they are properly done and cared for. It's not abuse or any other such thing under those circumstances. Do people seriously make their DC wait until they are 16? Confused My mum was on the receiving end of catsbum and considered odd for waiting until I was 2. It's a family tradition. Apparently I wanted them done and just went and had them done with no fuss, I had been told it would sting and accepted that. I don't remember any trauma at all. I guess I wanted to be like my mum, grandma etc. I wore very small gold studs and by school age could take them out if need be so it was not an issue. I'm glad I had it done as I no way would now (hate needles) and love my earrings! And my parents were higher educated and lived in a naice house so not your sterotypical "chavs" at all. Why is it considered chavvy?

secretlyahippy · 21/08/2012 23:09

I can't believe that the age limit in Claire's is 3 months! 3 months! I couldn't let some teenager near either of my dd's beautiful tiny 12 week old ears and pearce them with a spike. They would have cried pitifully. My postnatal hormones would have told me to run to the hills with them clutched to by chest.

But, if someone is that keen for their child to have earrings - that's their perogative.

As for circumcision. I cannot believe that it's still legal and not classed as child abuse.