To not buy DS2 pink shoes?

[trigirl2012]

DS2 is 2.5 years old and loves pink mainly as he dotes on DD (aged 8). DS1 went through similar pink phase at same age, and has definitely grown out of it.

Anyway current shoes are red start rite, and when I bought them he refused to try on the other ones that were brought out (various colours, blue brown, black). But was happy when he saw the red shoes and has told everyone he knows - "look at my red shoes".

Current shoes too small and meltdown in shoe shop as wanted pink shoes. While DS1 getting schoool shoes DS2 and DD had gone to look at toddler shoes and come back with a few pink flowery shoes. He totally refused to put his feet into the shoes that were brought out for him in selection of boys colours - blue, brown, black etc. Just said "want pink shoes, no like it blue shoes"

I didn't buy the pink shoes (didn't even let him try them on, even called DH who said definitely not), tears all round him saying he wanted pink shoes, but luckily happy ending as shop assistant found red geox boots that he eventually accepted.

But I would have bought DD as a toddler blue boys shoes had she had a meltdown. And I will let DS2 wear hand me down pink wellies (although equally happy to buy him new wellies if he wants).

So was I reasonable - should I have bought the pink shoes for him?

I wouldn't have either, but I expect there will be people along shortly to be outraged that you didn't. Hope he likes his red shoes though

Are you Lorraine Candy?

If not, she has a son who likes pink too...

I think it's reasonable.

I would not buy my son pink shoes, all other colours yes but pink is too girly. I would do what you have done and find a compromise! Ultimately he came away happy and it doesn't hurt for them too not always get what they want.

As liberal and open minded as I like to think I am, I too would have refused to buy my toddler son pink shoes.

Thanks all feeling much better now. Felt a bit bad I wouldn't buy the shoes he really wanted just because of what others would think. Yes it was compromise, and his red geox boots so cool I want a pair in my size .

I would have bought them.

Just like I would (and have) bought DD blue shoes.

Kids don't buy into ridiculous gender-stereotyping. Stop inflicting your susceptibility on them.

Meh, he's 2, if pink shoes will make him happy why not?

He's 2 years old

He doesn't get to dictate I'm afraid...or at least he shouldn't.

I probably wouldn't buy my son pink shoes. I think it's because shoes are expensive and for wearing every day, so if he disney like the reaction they got it would be an every day upset. He can have a pink t shirt or chose the girly sainsburys sun hat.

"even called DH who said definitely not"

Yes because pink shoes will automatically indicate your DS is a pansy and that would be unacceptable?

FFS.

I wouldn't. I don't like boys in pink. So shoot me

as long as the pink shoes fitted well and looked like they were well made then yes i would have bought them.

but geox are cool, my boys wear them and have had the red ones in the past they are lovely.

its not fair that boys shoes are often dull boring colours.

ricosta and pepino do nice boys shoes. ds4 had some apple green ones :(

actually my now 13yr old ds1 had some purple boots by elephanten when he was a toddler! but they were bought out by clarks, shame as they made lovely shies :(

I think it's great that you considered buying them and are questioning why you didn't.

Worra I don't think it's about OP letting the toddler dictating things, I think it's about the fact that there's no reason why he shouldn't have the pink shoes other than subscribing to ideas like 'boys don't wear pink' or 'flowers and butterflies are for girls', or other such nonsense.

But social norms are so, so powerful and I think I would also have had to draw the line at everyday shoes that are clearly marketed for girls. I'd be sad about it, though, and would hate the message that it sent my son about how 'acceptable' (to me? to others? to my concern about others' view of me as a mother?) his honest preferences are.

I like these, if he still wants pink shoes next time and you can stretch to having a knockaround pair as well as 'good'. I think a boy could definitely wear these without raising any eyebrows, and it would give him the message that you think it's fine that he wants pink shoes. Just a thought :)

sorry, I meant 'letting the toddler dictate things', of course.

It's hardly "dictating" for crying out loud!

Personally I just don't see the harm. Can't say the colour of a 2 year old's shoes is something I've ever considered worthy of a second's thought.

You go shopping, see what the selection is, buy the most suitable ones in terms of fit, quality and durability. Why shouldn't the kid get to choose his favourite colour? It makes a boring essential item feel like a treat.

Oh he is only two. Why would it be unacceptable for a two year old to wear pink shoes?

Why would you not consider pink for a boy but you would blue for a girl?

People may hate boys wearing pink, but that's their problem, not your sons.

FWIW I think if you make an issue over colour now it could get worse. Don't make an issue over it now as really, there is no issue!

I would not have bought them either, although I have bought my teenage DS's pink shirts. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't think so, pink shoes for little boys are a bit unusual whereas pink shirts look lovely on my handsome DS's

Guess you will have to shoot me too.

Worra I don't think it's about OP letting the toddler dictating things, I think it's about the fact that there's no reason why he shouldn't have the pink shoes other than subscribing to ideas like 'boys don't wear pink' or 'flowers and butterflies are for girls', or other such nonsense

Well I think that's possibly the idea of this thread and the 100s of others on this subject.

But imo the whole 'pink issue' is void here by the fact there's a 2yr old whose opinion on which shoes to buy, shouldn't really enter into it.

And before the whole thread turns into the predictable 'pink/blue' issue....

Did anyone notice that during the Euro football this year, almost every footballer wore bright pink football boots?

Then there was the London Olympics where the colour scheme for all was pink and purple.

This whole tired argument really only seems alive and well on Mumsnet

In RL people just either buy the colour or they don't it would seem

'selection of boys colours - blue, brown, black etc.'

Really?

Yes, Worra, I did realise what the point of the thread was. I thought it was you who had missed the point.

Apparently I was mistaken. Sorry.

Yeah the Olympics also proved that nauseating gender-stereotyping is still plenty <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=olympics+germany+opening+ceremony&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1680&bih=925&tbm=isch&tbnid=IrJW5-Z5qqE5jM:&imgrefurl=sports.nationalpost.com/2012/07/27/london-2012-olympic-opening-ceremony-in-photos/&docid=RGwH3iYr3FO4yM&imgurl=nationalpostsports.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/jeffisgr8t-61808251.jpg&w=940&h=578&ei=ocgyUNGaOIfDswaz0oHQCw&zoom=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">rife

You're cracked if you think it's a 'non' issue Worra.

And I was on holiday at the time and about 80% gin but I distinctly recall seeing occasional flashes of pink rather than pink boots in Euro 2012?

Fair enough worra but I disagree.

He wasn't choosing the shoes, just the colour. I wouldn't have a problem with that.