To not buy DS2 pink shoes?

[trigirl2012]

DS2 is 2.5 years old and loves pink mainly as he dotes on DD (aged 8). DS1 went through similar pink phase at same age, and has definitely grown out of it.

Anyway current shoes are red start rite, and when I bought them he refused to try on the other ones that were brought out (various colours, blue brown, black). But was happy when he saw the red shoes and has told everyone he knows - "look at my red shoes".

Current shoes too small and meltdown in shoe shop as wanted pink shoes. While DS1 getting schoool shoes DS2 and DD had gone to look at toddler shoes and come back with a few pink flowery shoes. He totally refused to put his feet into the shoes that were brought out for him in selection of boys colours - blue, brown, black etc. Just said "want pink shoes, no like it blue shoes"

I didn't buy the pink shoes (didn't even let him try them on, even called DH who said definitely not), tears all round him saying he wanted pink shoes, but luckily happy ending as shop assistant found red geox boots that he eventually accepted.

But I would have bought DD as a toddler blue boys shoes had she had a meltdown. And I will let DS2 wear hand me down pink wellies (although equally happy to buy him new wellies if he wants).

So was I reasonable - should I have bought the pink shoes for him?

It is such a non issue imo MyDogShitsMoney

Every single time this 'issue' is brought to MN, the same answers apply

Some care, some don't care, some don't care but their DH's do, some (imo) got a bit OTT in their quest for 'colour equality between sexes' and so it goes on and on and on.....

It's a colour like every other colour out there

Buy it for your sons or don't but really it's not such a big deal in RL in my experience anyway.

I don't buy pink shoes for DD because it clashes with everything and gets dirty and is repulsive. Boy or girl, pink stinks.

I wouldnt buy pink shoes for either sex, as I am old school and want shoes to go with everything! So black for preference, blue at a push, red only only for summer terms at school (boys and girls!).

But the principle of pink on boys wouldnt bother me. Youngest DS loved his sisters fairy dresses!

Some care, some don't care, some don't care but their DH's do, some (imo) got a bit OTT in their quest for 'colour equality between sexes' and so it goes on and on and on.....

Yes, exactly. But you forgot to add "some are confident in their choices, some arent sure if they are doing the right thing and post on MN to check"......

I would have bought the pink shoes.

And in fact we are going shopping today because DS2 wants some Peppa Pig PJs and needs new shoes, if he sees some he likes and they are suitable (use wise/quality etc) then he can have them regardless of colour.

DS1 went through a pink phase, I feel a little sad sometimes that now at 8 he won't touch anything 'girly'.

DH, like me couldn't give a fuck either way. As long as the shoes are functional, then he can have whatever colour he likes.

Yes, exactly. But you forgot to add "some are confident in their choices, some arent sure if they are doing the right thing and post on MN to check"......

I also forgot to add "some just like to name change for the sake of it and start threads like these"

Cynical? Moi?

How very dare you!

Touché :o

Couldn't agree more Worra

I wouldn't let dd have pink shoes because they don't match anything

Aw, is it going to spoil the fun if we all agree though?

Is it meant to turn into a giant bun fight where I get all right on about my DS having a doll and you tell me he's going to catch the gay

I'd have bought them, I have never particularly noticed what toddlers are wearing on their feet and don't think I could have thought of a decent reason to tell him why he couldn't have them in pink

I hate pink shoes for everyone. Like Bogeyface, I don't think they go with anything (even/especially more pink). Since dd is the one likely to have a meltdown at the shops I have started buying her shoes online.

Well. I would have bought them, and did. DS1, now 9 loves everything pink. He has a pink bedroom, pink school stuff - loads of pink clothes etc... etc.... . He is a real boys boy, loves skateboarding, climbing and fighting with his brothers, he is not at all girlie - he just loves pink. None of his mates pick on him - he's always been the same.
It's a little sad when we as parents push children into things so as to not 'embarrass' us. Let your kids find THEIR normal. Get back to that shop and let him have his pink shoes and shame on your DH!

I would buy my DS pink shoes if he wanted them, not that he has any opinion on what he wears (for the time being). I don't dress him up to represent me, he's his own person and as long as his choices are safe and within budget then I don't see why I should try to change his mind. "I don't like the colour" is a bizarre toddlerish reason not to let someone else have something - he'll be wearing it, not you! I always find it odd when mothers try to control their children's preferences for things - it's like they genuinely don't understand that their child is a person who will like and dislike things regardless of their parents' tantrums.

Also to be clear, his love of pink is fine with me, he has pink t-shirts / sweaters, and hand me down bright pink wellies. Shoes different though as expensive and worn every day and all these shoes very flowery/girls, mary jane style.

FWIW DS1 was the same as a toddler (also love of pink) - he grew out of it when he reached school!

I agree with DS2 though that boys shoes are boring - the ones that were brought initially are were pretty boring, one pair were tan with red straps but the others plain blue / brown etc, which I why I bought the more expensive geox red boots.

Maybe I'll look for some cheapo canvas pink shoes

I wouldn't buy anyone pink shoes. Ds only ever has one pair of good quality shoes and a pair of crocs on the go.

I wouldn't have bought DS1 pink flowery shoes. But then again if I had a DD I wouldn't have bought them for her either! Like MrsKeithRichards, DS1 only has one pair of shoes and a pair of sandals or boots (depending on the season) at a time and they are always the bog-standard brown or dark blue Clarks kids shoes, so that they go with everything and don't show the wear too much.

If he wanted pink flowery beach shoes or wellies or something else cheap and only worn occasionally then he could certainly have them.

I wouldn't buy pink shoes for any child. Money is tight-shoes have to go with everything. I would make an exception with beach shoes or wellies and let them have whatever colour they wanted.

i think a pair of cheap pink canvas shoes is good. wont matter if he changes his mind about eanting them.

its funny how people have said in rl this isnt an issue, not what i got told on a similar thread. there was also a thread about a 7yr old? wanting to spend his bday money on a dolls pushchair
op was told in no u certain terms he was too old, would be bullied etc etc.

so obviously boys having/playing with or wearing 'girls' things is seen as an issue by some.

and if we dont buy our boys the pink shoes or whatever girls toy thrn we just perpetuate this idea that they are just for girls.

I'm actually with Worra in this.

Personally I wouldn't have bought pink shoes for a boy, but I don't like pink anyway.

And I wouldn't let a child dictate either. I took DD shoe shopping for school the other day, and she sulked as I wouldn't give her the final say on which pair to buy. She is 8.

I would have bought them. It's a colour, it would have made him happy.

Ds recently chose a pink lunch box, woman in the shop was in quite a panic trying to get me to but one with cars on it. It's a load of nonsense, partly gender stereotyping crap and partly commercial spend all your money on boy/girl stuff crap.

No way would I have bought them. Other kids would have laughed at him and then he would refuse to wear "girls" shoes. Then it would be a waste of money.

Ds has pink clothes but I wouldn't buy him pink shoes. I like shoes which go with anything.