To prefer to be able to use a flushed loo even when the DCs are in bed

[ViviPru]

I ran a search before posting as I thought this has probably been covered in depth before. But seems not.

I honestly don't know if IBU or not, in fact this isn't really an AIBU, I just wanted to see what other people's experience is, really.

When DCs (particularly very small DCs) are poor sleepers, I appreciate that you'd want to avoid making any kind of noise that could disturb them. I recently visited friends which involved an overnight stay and it was made clear that the loo must not be flushed between certain times. I didn't think too much of it as my sister had a similar rule when my niece was small, but this was the first time I'd actually stayed overnight anywhere and had to use a loo previously used by several other people and not flushed and it left me feeling a bit boaky.

I concluded that I'd rather just gip a bit than be responsible for setting off a pair of screaming children, but it was really rather unpleasant.

It got me wondering what others did/do in these circs? Is having DCs that are a nightmare to settle so all-encompassing that something as trivial as expecting your guests to pee on a pile of other people's waste really is the last of your worries? I can imagine that it really could be, and if so fair enough. If there's just the two of you and you're used to this rule, I can see why you wouldn't want to make exception for when guests visit. But my Mum thinks that even easily disturbed DCs can and should get used to sleeping through a toilet flush. Should they?

Could probably cope if it just had pee in it but if someone had...paid a longer visit, shall we say, ew at not being able to flush

In your own home is fair dinkum but expecting guests to piddle in an unflushed loo IS boakey!
My kids could sleep through the toilet being replaced never mind flushed

I don't flush. But it's just me and DS. We never have guests. But I'll also avoid having a wee if by some miracle DS is
Asleep! I'll literally lie in bed desperate for hours because quiet and needing a wee is better than a screeching giddy child at 3 am

God yes, I don't want to use a loo that has wee or anything else down it and I wouldn't want to leave it not flushed either.

Of course they should. Its gross seeing someone elses wee in the loo. DH was very like this for the first few weeks after PFB was born - no lights on in the stairwell or hallway going upstairs, no flushing, no emptying the bath after DS was in his cot, creeping around, whispers etc. Til I told him to stop being a tit and did all of it at once without a murmur from the Boy.

I don't actually know any child who wakes from a flushed loo.

What about using a bucket of water? Quieter than flushing, but still pushes er, "stuff" along the pipes.

You need a shewee Dozyduck!

If it's yellow,let it mellow,
If it's brown flush it down (or something)
But I'm with you Op, I expect everybody to flush when they go.
When I first went to my Xil they never flushed at nights, I hated getting up for a pee and seeing their urine.

yanbu its a bit of a ridiculous rule and even those who follow it should make an exception for guests! especially if its not just pee - how gross

If it's yellow let it mellow
If it's brown, flush it down.

HTH.

Well we don't tend to flush overnight but that is when it is just us. The only house where we had a "don't flush unless you've done a poo" rule after dcs were in bed was one where the pipe work was so old it made the entire house shudder and the banging from the pipes was enough to wake the dead!

Oops cross post.

If its yellow flush it down
If its brown flush it down

Oh my parents continue to have this rule, it makes me puke.

Surely children need to learn to sleep through this kind of thing.

Pascha lol

My toilets a bit like that indith, such a fucking racket. And just when you think it's finally finished, the bastard has one more go at filling up. Like Chinese water torture

I smiled at this one, we seem to have had an unwritten rule that a wee in the night wasn't flushed, no real reason as Kids are grown up now, never discussed it or challenged it, just never did it. DS1 sometimes has his girlfriend stay over and I thought it a bit nasty for her so started flushing , no one wakes, no one complains and the loo smells fresher in the morning WHY did we do it in the first place, can't believe a flush would wake the boys even as babies. ah well ...... just need to train the DH and DS's to do it now

Pascha That was very much my BiL's approach when my niece (their PFB) was born. And she wasn't a particularly poor sleeper either. Another friends' loo is accessed through the nursery. She's not a particularly great sleeper, but since she was born, we were told to just go through and it was ok to flush, and it's never disturbed her.

Surely children need to learn to sleep through this kind of thing. Well that's kind of my instinctive reaction, but I don't have kids and haven't experienced the horror of difficult-to-settle-DC-induced sleep depravation so I don't feel I am in a position to judge - which prompted me to start the thread.

I have to admit to hoping that when I do have kids, we won't have to have this rule, and particularly expect guests to adhere, but I appreciate that it might not be as easy as that.

Over the top behaviour isn't it? Unless you have one of those roaring gushing old Victorian tanks that trickles water in noisily on the refill, and it backs onto the baby's room.

Then I'd think fair enough.

I once knew a couple like this and they were arsey about everything, not just the toilet. Bet they are looking forward to Halloween and the Christmas Carollers!

Will they put a sign up telling people not to ring the bell?

Yuck that's revolting. Presumably these are the same houses where you can't watch telly, laugh, sneeze, or tread on the third step from the top because it creaks once little johnnys gone to bed . Some people just seem to want to make a rod for their own back

We only flush wee every third/fourth time here (poo goes down immediately). 'Tis a disgraceful waste of water to flush every time. (I wonder who will be the first to moan when the water rates go up again)?

We don't flush when we have a wee at night but would definitely flush away anything else, but would definitely make an exception if we had guests!

I don't flush every time I have a wee. However I would want to in someone else's house.

Totally, utterly ridiculous not to flush, surely this sort of tiptoeing is a self-fulfilling prophesy, eventually making for hyper-noise-sensitive children and reduces their parents to ever increasing mad activity (tv so low it can't be heard, doorbell disconnected and phone off the hook after 6pm, talking in whispers only)?

How heavy are your turds if they go down without needing to flush?