To prefer to be able to use a flushed loo even when the DCs are in bed

[ViviPru]

I ran a search before posting as I thought this has probably been covered in depth before. But seems not.

I honestly don't know if IBU or not, in fact this isn't really an AIBU, I just wanted to see what other people's experience is, really.

When DCs (particularly very small DCs) are poor sleepers, I appreciate that you'd want to avoid making any kind of noise that could disturb them. I recently visited friends which involved an overnight stay and it was made clear that the loo must not be flushed between certain times. I didn't think too much of it as my sister had a similar rule when my niece was small, but this was the first time I'd actually stayed overnight anywhere and had to use a loo previously used by several other people and not flushed and it left me feeling a bit boaky.

I concluded that I'd rather just gip a bit than be responsible for setting off a pair of screaming children, but it was really rather unpleasant.

It got me wondering what others did/do in these circs? Is having DCs that are a nightmare to settle so all-encompassing that something as trivial as expecting your guests to pee on a pile of other people's waste really is the last of your worries? I can imagine that it really could be, and if so fair enough. If there's just the two of you and you're used to this rule, I can see why you wouldn't want to make exception for when guests visit. But my Mum thinks that even easily disturbed DCs can and should get used to sleeping through a toilet flush. Should they?

FFS

Babies, children and adults can all sleep if they are tired. Unaccustomed noises are unaccustomed. Common noises are not, and needn't wake you. Ask someone who grew up living next to a stream or a railway line. Teaching somebody that they can only sleep in perfect silence is unhelpful.

Also, you can get silent or quiet flushing valves, and silent or quiet filling valves. Old ballcocks, if they get noisy, usually just need the washer to be changed, but it is less trouble, and only a few pounds more, to fit a new quiet one.

Fair enough craic

And piglet. DS can't even stand the noise of someone talking a bit loudly (ear defenders on) in the day! A tiny noise sounds like a bomb dropping to his little ears. Nothing can stop him waking of there's a noise. Tired or not

I wouldn't worry about flushing waking children. Would worry a lot, and be very bothered, if I kept being woken up it.

Much rather face a 'used' loo in the morning.

we dont flush the loo every wee even in the day. such a waste of water!

If their toilet is making that much noise they need to get a decent plumber in.

Crazy, my dscs who are now 14 16 don't flush at night as their mum didn't let them as it would wake the youngest up who is now 12. She doesn't like them doing it now as it wakes HER up.

DSD at 13 had a messy tummy one night. It was disgusting to wake up to. I would have been horrified if we had guests.

I agree with Dublin

I agree with Novack.

We've always flushed at night (and hoovered in the evenings upstairs, used the shower etc). DD was a rubbish sleeper but I just had to have normal life going on when she was asleep. She does now sleep through most things but sadly not the turning off of the engine when she's asleep in the car

We follow the if its yellow let it mellow rule, but we did that before children, so nothing to do with waking the children. But obviously would flush if a guest was staying, and let the guest flush too!

Depends on location of DC and cistern surely? Current house the loo is right next to the DC's bedroom so we won't flush every time but that only applies to wee. Everything else gets flushed. Previous house there were three rooms and a lot of landing between bathroom and DC's room and didn't occur to us not to flush.

Always flush when guests stay but they tend to use the cloakroom downstairs in the night anyway - presumably because it's not right next door to DC.

Years ago I used to live downstairs from a family whose mum once proudly announced that they kept a chamber pot under the bed for night time wees and emptied it in the morning.

I sold my flat soon after this revelation.

If your wee is yellow you really do need to drink much more water or see a doctor.

Novack. V funny.

But oh so true.

what about a new rhyme...

If it's copious and clear no one will bother if it's near
It's large and its brown others will frown.

"Surely children need to learn to sleep through this kind of thing."

I agree. My auntie gave me some invaluable advice when DD was tiny. She told me never to make the house deadly quiet in order to get her to sleep because she would never sleep if there was the slightest bit of noise. I am so glad I followed that piece of advice as it meant that we didn't have to pussyfoot around when DD finally did get to sleep. Our loos aren't noisy anyway.

I expect everyone who uses our loos to flush them after they have finished regardless of what time it is. Our house isn't a farmyard.

i like it. Will use that one in future!

I have known two people who have this rule and have always thought it ridiculous!!! It wouldn't even occur to me not to flush and I agree it is gross!!

Tbh if I was in your situation op I would have flushed anyway and just said sorry it was instinctual!!!