to say no to people bringing their dogs when they come to stay?

[Poachedeggsandchocolate]

I am 2 weeks from due date. Cannot cope with the extra mayhem and mess large dogs coming to stay as well bring. AIBU to say please don't bring them? I think it'll start a big argument, but I really don't think I can cope with the canines coming too.

YANBU.

You shouldn't be trying to get them to like you- frankly you hold all the trump cards ie their son and grandchildren. They should be bending over backwards to be nice to you.

As has been said upthread you can be as rude as you like when you are pregnant. Tell your DH to deal firmly with this, no messing. I would suggest he says Poached says no and so do I. No argument.

If the dog is unwanted then you stay at home if there are no other options. How many of you need to stay at home is up to you and your husband but you don't just take the dog along if you have been told it is unwanted. If your husband gets aggressive and unpleasant with you just because you refuse to take an unwanted dog to someone's house then I feel sorry for you as I presume he is selfish and aggressive on other occasions.

who are these people who said "you had to go" ?

do they run your lives ? Do they have the logistical difficulties of transporting your children and dog ? Do they have some sort of hold over you, where you are impelled to do what they say ?

I really don't understand

I get it could cause a bit of family upset if you didn't go (to whatever it is...I am assuming a regular family get-together type of thing ?) but you "have" to ?

no

there is more than "dog not welcome" going on here, saintly

I'd just like to say thanks to the OP for posting about this - I was discussing this with DH over lunch and it transpired that my inlaws apparently intend to bring their (smelly, poorly behaved) old English Sheepdog with them when them come to visit our PFB due in 4 & a bit weeks! Clearly, Words Need To Be Had here also

Do it quickly nightmare - kennel cough vaccine (which isn't a standard one - usually only given if a dog goes into kennels) - needs to be given 2 weeks in advance. So even if they want to be as helpful as possible they need some notice.

Thanks JimJams - I'll get DH to broach the subject tonight.

HE needs to be firm with them, Nightmare. Right Now.

It didn't go well: apparently the dog is 'old and unwell' and will 'just sit in the living room quietly, honest'. Whilst being a malodorous lump who will growl at my pussycats every time they walk past, who will no doubt being stressed by arrival of a baby will pay me back for that by peeing everywhere (I speak from bitter experience here). I'm putting my foot down: in laws stay in hotel, dog stays in hotel, dog does not come into my house.. and quite possibly I'll be starting my own thread about unreasonable inlaws in a day or too sorry OP for the hijack.

nightmare that was the excuse used with my relatives with their first dog, thay it was too old etc for kennels. tbf the dog was old and eventually died. tben they hot a new dog, not a puppy but not old. they just came up with new excusrs for why the dog cant go in kennels.... anyway they do generally now put it on kennels. lots of agro to get to that point.

you and dh need to kerp firm. upset or not if you dont want the dog and they want to see baby, they need to make arrangements.

That's not your problem, Nightmare, it's theirs. Stay FIRM and no, no, no. I would not want a dog in here because my cats hate them and one of them tries to attack dogs, the other gets stressed out by them and vomits and had diarrhea.

And with a new baby?

NOPE.

I am a dog person but even I can appreciate that you would not want dogs there 2 weeks before your due date. Hope I don't alarm you but you might have the baby early and you certainly would not want to put up with them then?

Can you suggest a dog sitter? You know where the dog goes to someone's home rather than stays in kennels? I don't think kennels suit all dogs but there are alternatives given enough notice. That was the point with our unwelcome dog - any other week of the year he could have been left behind very easily (and we would have been very happy to do so). Even that week we could have sorted something out with enough notice.

Or travelodges have doggy rooms but they do get booked up (and I guess they'd have to visit separately as s/o would need to stay with the dog - a homely dog sitter would be better).

Why do some dog owners feel that their dog comes before everyone and everything else? I have a lot of dog owning friends and they would never bring their dog to our house or assume that they could.

I used to have two cats. I adore cats and these two were my "children", but I was well aware that not everyone likes cats and would remove them from the room if we had cat hating visitors. I wouldn't take them to anyone else's house either.

I hate this "love me love my dog" attitude. It is unbelievably selfish.