to say no to people bringing their dogs when they come to stay?

[Poachedeggsandchocolate]

I am 2 weeks from due date. Cannot cope with the extra mayhem and mess large dogs coming to stay as well bring. AIBU to say please don't bring them? I think it'll start a big argument, but I really don't think I can cope with the canines coming too.

No dogs allowed in my house - if they dont like it they can lump it

YANBU - I don't let my mum bring her 2 enormous, slobbering dogs when she visits me and it is quite some time since I was pregnant. And I always take my nice, medium sized dog with me when I visit her

It might be worth considering whether the dogs will be welcome post baby too? Now might be the time to say, you would prefer if the dogs stayed home on ALL visits and deal with the huff just once. You can always recant when your kids are past the crawling stage.
Or offer a compromise with an outdoor kennel and a total indoor ban, subject to regular walking (so no barking), poop scooping and anything else that seems reasonable.
I don't have dogs but kennels are expensive and they are family. If putting the dog to sleep in the garden is unacceptable then short visits and kennels it is in my opinion.

YANBU

I visited a friend recently who had given birth a week earlier and offered to leave the dog in the car (I would not have taken her, but we were en route and only stopped off for a quick visit to bring her a present). She was fine, and my dog is a tiny wee thing and doesn't shed hair or bring muck into the house.

I certainly would not have taken 2 large smelly dogs into her house.

Be firm but polite. 'would you mind awfully not bringing the dogs, as I am really not keen on having them around when I am feeling so exhausted'.

Don't say anything about them being smelly or shedding hair. The former will get the owners backs up, cause we dog owners don't smell our pooches anymore, the latter gives them the option of saying that they will hoover daily for you.

I love my dogs and consider them family, but I appreciate not everyone feels the same way about them, and it's your house so your decision who to invite. I wouldn't be offended (I'm the first to admit they are big, smelly, hairy and get under your feet!).

However I'd stay home with them too.

And if I ever invited you to my house, I'd ask you not to bring your child

YADNBU

What breed are they?

Oh, NO! Don't start compromising. Just, 'I'm feeling unwell now the baby's nearly due. No dogs and in the future, no dogs.' They want to argue, don't engage. Just keep repeating NO, NO, NO. No is a complete sentence.

YANBU and I say that as a dog-owner who refers to her dog as "my first son". I wouldn't dream of bringing him to someone's house if I thought it would be a problem. Having said that, if you have allowed it in the past then perhaps they are just assuming it's still ok. Choose any of Hecate's sentences and stick to it... Good luck (with the in-law's and the baby!)

OP, say : because they're big and smelly and drop hairs and get under my feet

Seriously though - i wouldn't, in fact, blame it on the pregnancy, as tempting and true as it may be, because this wont end otherwise. Soon you'll have a new baby, then a toddler, and the dogs will still be big and smelly and hairy.

Your OH has to help out with this - just gently repeat - we're looking froward to seeing you, but not the doggies. We'd be grateful if you could make other arrangements for them.

Being pregnant is neither here nor there in this case! You are def not BU. Your potential guests mosts certainly are.

'I am heavily pregnant and then will have a newborn baby. I just don't want the dogs around right now'.

Repeat ad infinitum

You and your DH need a united front on this. Two options - big flat no to any visit with dog, or no but if just a day visit the dog can stay in the garden?
We use the second one with family - otherwise we would never see SIL! Even though we've asked her to clean up after dog tho we've found poo in the garden - so it may soon become a blanket no forever...
And important that it isn't blamed on pregnancy otherwise you'll have a never ending battle on this. Just say its gone too far and upset you too much in the past and you don't want it anymore.

YANBU.
I wouldn't want dogs visiting us either and I'm not pregnant. Your house, your rules.

Don't be defensive or apologetic. Just be honest.
Good luck!

you are completely within your rights to say no to the whole visit!

and it is your house so of course you can ban dogs

2 Weeks before due date and whilst recovering from birth getting to grips with a little one - . focus on you and your baby!

might a median position for future (thinking after post natal stuff is over) visits of, they can bring dogs but have to manage them? or have you tried this already? my dog comes with me on family visits but is managed with crate as appropriate for situation. no dog allowed would mean no overnight visits from me - would that bother you as an outcome from your ILs?

why are these people even imposing themselves at all with or without canines ?

That is a good point - I don't think I'd want anyone coming to stay 2 weeks before due date, with or without dogs!

the visitors are her parents in law - they are presumably coming to help around the time of the birth

just make them NOT bring the dogs

I don't get why anyone thinks it is reasonable to bring their pets to someone else's house. Dogs are a massive imposition and usually dog free households are dog free because the house owner doesn't want/like dogs.

I am happy to visit friends and family who have dogs - after all I grew up with dogs, but I wouldn't want anyone bringing a dog into my house. One couple brought a dog many years ago when they came round for an evening meal. As soon as OH opened the front door he was pretty blunt and said "you can't bring that dog in here". So it ended sitting in their car all evening.

How long do these visits take? If they live reasonably nearby can't they leave the dogs at home all afternoon?

Fuck no, no bloody way would anyone's dog get in my house, boak!

YANBU. Luckily it is part of my rental agreement that no pets are allowed in the house

I let sil take her dogs here once. They got so over excited the both puked on my new wooden floor. They don't come anymore. Well one is dead and the other one doesn't come.

YANBU at all and i feel your pain, i have this exact issue with some relatives who insist on bringing their dog to my home, despite the fact that i am ALLERGIC to dogs!!
each and every time i was preg and had a new baby they did this, until after dd and i just said NO. they have been coming for shorter visits now as they dont like leaving the dog (tho they do so frequently for weeks at a time to go on holiday)

its much better now but they still visit in the summer in their caravan and stay nearby, they bring the dog then but then get grumpy when i dont want it in my house, i have said it can stay in the garden, plenty of shade and will even provide a blanket for it to lie on and water of course! but nope they wont have the dog in the garden, oh the other suggestion was the conservatory but the dog HAS to be in the same room as them! they get really snotty about it and make out that i am being precious and making a fuss etc! drives me mental.

they havent come this summer, what a shame

I say let 'em huff!
As Bunbaker said, usually dog free households are that way for a reason.
If you can't accommodate kennels/babysitting or whatever, when you need to be somewhere other than home, don't get a dog.