to say no to people bringing their dogs when they come to stay?

[Poachedeggsandchocolate]

I am 2 weeks from due date. Cannot cope with the extra mayhem and mess large dogs coming to stay as well bring. AIBU to say please don't bring them? I think it'll start a big argument, but I really don't think I can cope with the canines coming too.

My house is a dog free zone. Thankfully no close relatives have dogs. If they wouldn't put their dog in a kennel to visit then they don't visit or can stay in a dog friendly b&b or caravan. Their problem, not mine.

I don't do dogs full stop, so have sympathy with you.

I think you should just tell them you are very pregnant and finding things hard so really cannot cope at the moment. Give them the option of coming without the dogs or postponing until hell freezes over

Make sure your DH will back you up.

If they are that awful why would it be so terrible if they are frosty for a while and don't see much of you? Surely you and your husband will be too busy with your baby to notice whether they are huffing or not? They have more to lose than you by making a scene about a couple of dogs.
I'm thick skinned and fairly busy though so if someone doesn't want to see me over something trivial I'm happy not to see them and to just get on with other stuff. Some people seem unable to cope with not being loved by everyone, even manipulative selfish people and will become doormats to remain universally loved.

This is hilarious. I love an AIBU where the OP is so obviously not being unreasonable. No way to having the dogs. Bringing a pet to someone else's house is rude. They'll have to get someone to dogsit in their house if they want to visit you.

can i ask jimjams when you say the dog was always going to be going with you, when you arranged the visit had you asked if it was ok to bring the dog or did they give an invite that specifically included the dog? or was it just assumed that you could take the dog?

if you are a dog owner and you are invited somewhere but the hosts dont mention the dog would you assume you can take tje dog? do you check?

my relatives unfortunately think that a 'yes it would be nice for you to visit' includes their dog!

i am sure most dog owners are not as rude as my relatives! but is the onus on the host to explicitely say mo dogs when issuing invite or should a dog owner always check that its ok to bring the dog?

saintly, tbh, that serves you right for assuming it was ok to bring your dog

Aww, Great Danes are lovely. It can come and stay with me :)

Seriously though I can understand you not wanting a huge dog rampaging around your house, just tell them politely but firmly, and stand your ground.

5madthings - I would not assume my dogs were invited to someone's home unless specifically mentioned, I don't think it's usual to assume that (unless maybe it's a regular thing and the dogs have always come along before, though it's always worth checking if in doubt).

YANBU. Your house, your rules, no dogs.

You do not have to justify it or apologize.

The reason I need to check I'm not BU is because you would seriously think I'd grown another head they way they looked at me last time!

And on the whole other than this one issue our relationship is good, which is why I don't want to rock the boat.

But I admit I have issues with assertiveness over things like this, and do want them to like me, which makes it hard to express my opinions sometimes.

they are BU, not you

We had checked we could take the dog. Think one part of the couple changed their mind - just too late to do much about it.

if you had checked, then fair enough, saintly

however if one partner changed their mind, that is their prerogative

I have a very kind but rather over-accomodating DH. A lovely trait to have....sometimes. He would quite readily agree to all sorts of stuff if I don't sometimes put the brakes on. Perhaps that is what happened there.

and that would be your prerogative

tbh, if I have ever vetoed something, I would not wait until 3 days before to do it

Anyhow in future even if people say it's fine to bring the dog I will assume it isn't. And however much they insist they need us to come on the one week my parents are always away we won't!

I'm always amazed at the assumption that your dogs will automatically be welcome. To assume that you can bring a Great Dane is just astonishing. Let alone bring it (with collie canine companion) to a house where the host has just had a baby. I have a dog and love dogs but I never think that an invitation to the humans has been extended to the dogs in the family. So YANBU.

I know that tackling the problem won't be easy but it would be better to be firm about it now so that the message is well and truly understood. Otherwise you'll have this stress every time they plan to visit.

for all possible reasons you are not Bu. I would never inflict my dogs on other people, i may love them for all they're worth but they are bouncy, stinky and not always totally respectful of people's property, ie shoes or pens. And i would be mortified to see what they could do to someone else's garden in 2 weeks. Obvious only exception is staying with one's parents, for some reason I would do that.

Why would you staying at home cause marital breakdown? Surely the dog problem is as much your husband's problem as yours? It's his dog too and if the dog is unwanted at the last minute it's also his problem to sort something out.

YANBU! I would die before letting a dog into my house. I hate dogs.

It's not too late to change taking the dog if the dog is unwanted though. Taking the dog is then no longer an option.