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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel I have just witnessed child abuse?

209 replies

mrsrosieb · 14/08/2012 13:15

Please note I have only used medical terms in this post and nothing I am writing is meant to be insulting towards obese people.

I have just witnessed a morbidly obese woman pushing a pram with 2 older children-one about 9 and one about 14. These children are dangerously obese from a medical point of view.

I felt so sorry for them. If mum wants to eat a diet that makes her obese that is her choice and I have no problem with that. What I have a real issue with is raising children that may go on to suffer heart disease and diabetes-plus getting a ragging from the school bullies.

I know the SS have removed children like this. Am I right in thinking this is child abuse?

OP posts:
butisthismyname · 14/08/2012 13:15

Sounds very sad for sure :(

usualsuspect · 14/08/2012 13:16

The children were in the pram?

usualsuspect · 14/08/2012 13:16

So you think they should be taken into care for being overweight?

HecateHarshPants · 14/08/2012 13:17

It is neglecting the health of the children, certainly. I don't think anyone could argue that it wasn't.

Original poster
mrsrosieb · 14/08/2012 13:17

No the children were not in the pram! Child number 3 was in the pram-looked like a newborn.

OP posts:
MamaMary · 14/08/2012 13:17

Hang on, was there a baby too?

MamaMary · 14/08/2012 13:18

Oh, x-post.

Original poster
mrsrosieb · 14/08/2012 13:18

I never said they should be placed in care-that is a bit extreme. I do think the SS should be involved though-to give help and advice to mum about what to feed her kids.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 14/08/2012 13:18

It's not ideal no, but I don't think it's abuse.

catus · 14/08/2012 13:19

I think you should think for a bit before posting a thread like this. Do you think this is going to end well and help anyone?

fluffyanimal · 14/08/2012 13:20

You witnessed 3 fat people. That is all. You know nothing about the mother's parenting, or her health, or the health of the children, or what help she might already be receiving.. For all you know, they might all suffer from an inherited medical issue.

Bumblebee333 · 14/08/2012 13:21

well if she has a baby then she will have a health visitor who will probably have something to say if its that much of a problem. They will give her leaflets on healthy eating and exercise and suggest she goes to the drs. I doubt she has managed to get through a pregnancy without someone saying something about it.

The fact that she is out walking is good though right?

Debeez · 14/08/2012 13:22

Previously, I would have disagreed. I recently ran into my best friend from primary school. He was a bit bigger than the other boys, lovely bloke. He is now so big he cannot walk more than a few metres. On the verge of being housebound. I could cry for that lovely boy I knew in primary. He's a good man, he doesn't deserve it.

But. He's married. Two children. And the children are bigger than he ever was in school. They go to get the takeaways from the shop as Dad can't and Mam can't be bothered. Taken into care, no. But I do hope SS get involved and help him before his kids end up like he has.

MiggleMoo · 14/08/2012 13:23

I can see mrsrosieb point - a parent controls their child's diet and intake of food. If the children are morbidly obese their physical and emotional wellbeing is at a huge risk - why isn't this considered abusive behaviour?

spongebrainfatpants · 14/08/2012 13:24

So fat people with fat children should have their kids taken into care?

Really.

Now maybe some education on cooking healthier and also to do more exercise but my god. Taken into care. FFs.

The care system is full to bursting as it is. Without taking kids that are being cared for by their parents.

VoldemortsOlympicNippleRings · 14/08/2012 13:25

It's support and help from the health services that this family need, which to all your knowledge, they may be getting.

Under the circumstances you mention, I fail to see how it is the concern of social services.

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/08/2012 13:25

I thought you meant that the older children were in the pushchair. I think you should keep it out tbh. Incidentally what is the point of this thread. Do you want everyone to agree and say oooh how awful aren't fat people rubbish etc?

usualsuspect · 14/08/2012 13:26

Bit of an odd thread,I expect it will turn into a low fat bun fight

numbertaker · 14/08/2012 13:27

LOL you preamble with a think about not insulting fat people, then call fat people child abusers...logic.

numbertaker · 14/08/2012 13:27

*thing

WorraLiberty · 14/08/2012 13:27

If (and it's a big if) she's denying her children healthy food and the chance to exercise, then yes I'm afraid it is abuse in my eyes.

She's possibly setting them up for a whole host of health problems

If she were blowing cigarette smoke into their faces on a daily basis or giving them unecessary medicines every day, she'd also be setting them up for a whole host of health problems.

I don't really see much difference here.

FunnysInLaJardin · 14/08/2012 13:28

then allow me to be the first to sling a Special K breakfast bar (only 71cals)

NCForNow · 14/08/2012 13:30

If a parent was hugely underweight...by a lot...and so were her children then people would be shocked as they were being starved. Why not so when the opposite is true?

The health problems from being overweight are surely as serious? Heart disease and more...

Debeez · 14/08/2012 13:30

FunnysInLaJardin Fuck that for a game of cards. I'll have Malteasers for an extra 30cals TYVM! If special K bars were a decent size they'd be the same cals and fat as any other snack bar. (Should really grumble about this eleswhere but hey)

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 14/08/2012 13:30

I don't know. If she kept the children dangerously underweight there would be SS involvement.. But then I don't like to assume its her doing. My friends children are naturally skinny and he's always getting crap off school for it, but its just them - I've seen myself the ammmount those children eat, he is in no way to blame, so I'd hate for a woman such as in the OP to be accused in the same manner when its not necessarily her fault.

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