DH wants me to apologise for washing his wallet which was in his trousers. I think it shouldn't have been in the washing basket. Who's right?

[IHeartKingThistle]

I have said that I should have checked the pockets (I usually do) but I'm not apologising because he left his trousers and wallet in the wash basket.
This is the most pointless pathetic crappy fight ever. He's pretty much ignoring me now. I am more than happy to agree to disagree but he seems to think only an apology from me will stop it. I'm quite upset now. We were having a lovely weekend too.

Fuck that, you are not his mother and he is not a toddler so you don't need to check his pockets. He should do that. Do not apologise. Get yourself out for the afternoon and leave him to be a twat.

He is mainly wrong, but I suppose you should've checked.

I hesistated writing that though, as I don't really want to endorse such a daft argument!

His fault. I never check the pockets of stuff in the wash.

"I'm sorry I washed your wallet after you were stupid enough to leave it in the pocket of your trousers when you put them in the washing basket"

"I

He is BVU.
I wash what is in the laundry basket. I check DD's pockets as she tends to collect rocks and tissues but I don't check my DH's or older DCs' pockets because I am not their maid and I think they are capable of doing it themselves!
SOLUTION - he can do his own bloody washing!

"I'm sorry I washed your wallet after you were stupid enough to leave it in the pocket of your trousers when you put them in the washing basket.

In future I will avoid making the same mistake by leaving your clothes for you to wash yourself."

Agree with Soupy.

If you always, always, always without fail check pockets etc then you're a lot more conscientious than I am I suppose it would be reasonable for him to think you do your usual. However, if it's something you do sometimes, or even usually, but not always then he's an idiot for leaving his wallet in the pocket. He's annoyed with himself but can't accept it's his fault so he's taking it out on you.

I cannot possibly judge until I know whether he has a proper wallet or one of those misers wallets with a zip up pouch for coins!

My rule is that whatever is in the washing basket gets washed - although I did make an exception for the remote control...
The extension to this is of course that whatever is not in the washing basket (cricket kit still in cricket bag, socks under the coffee table) does not get washed...
Was there any money in the wallet? Pinch it quick and go out for coffee and cake

How about saying:

'I'm sorry I washed your wallet. I don't want it to happen again so I wont' wash any of your clothes anymore.'

I mean, seriously? You're nice enough to do his laundry, he's the silly man who left his wallet in there, and he's angry with you?

YANBU

he is being a nob. i completely agree that not washing his clothes in future will avoid you making such a 'mistake' again.

What Zachary said.

Yes, you could have checked, but as you were essentially doing him a favour he needs to grow the hell up.

"I'm sorry it went through the wash. How can I help you remember to check you pockets?"

or

"I'm sorry it went through the wash. Maybe you'd better do the laundry (and all pocket checking) from now on."

I have a policy that if it's in the wash basket then I don't check, I assume that everything is taken out of pockets before it's put in, I've made this clear to dh, if he's unhappy with this then he is welcome to wash his own stuff.

His fault. If he's old enough to have a wallet, he is old enough to be responsible for it.

I wouldn´t apologise.

I don´t check pockets & would only notice if an item of clothing felt too heavy-then I might check.

First thing my husband does when he gets in is put his wallet on the mantel piece, though.

What's his beef? I've washed paper money before and it survives pretty well, unless he has a load of receipts that he wanted to claim back and have been ruined...

"I'm sorry I married you" ?

His fault
Not your job to check pockets of items other people put into the laundry basket
Very childish of him to transfer blame

Also agree with SoupDragon

What a knob. Go out for the day and leave him to sulk.

why on earth does it have to be anybodies fault? It was just something annoying that happened. He is being childish and petulant and I would most certainly not offer an apology

My policy is anything in pockets which shouldn't go through the wash is mine. At the end of the month it can be a handy source of extra cash.

I always check pockets, but if I ever miss anything, then it's not my problem and I'm certainly not going to apologise.

It sounds like your dh feels a bit stupid really and an apology will make him feel less stupid.

Can you do the ' I'm sorry your wallet got washed' thing, instead of 'I'm sorry I washed your wallet'?

It might be worth it to resume peace, but there is no way this is your fault.