to be annoyed at the snarly/growly woman?

[mumnosGOLDisbest]

Standing in a busy queue with dd 4yrs (who is small/average) she accidently stepped on the lady' toe. I saw so i immediately said "sorry" and said to dd she should be careful and stand still. The woman turned and looked at dd then growled said in a nice voice "ouch that was my toe". Shw paid for her things then made a point of limping away. Now if that qas you and you already had a broken toe/foot/poorly foot then i'm sorry but it wwas truly just an accident otherwise aibu to think that was a massive overreaction and the woman was a complete cow a bit harsh and really upset my dd?

ilove (biting my tongue and remembering why i dont often post on ai u) dd and myself are both happy and confident thanks. I was a bit surprised and with hindsight wish id been less polite and said something. Also show me a small child who doesnt get a bit upset when after an accident, no chance for an apology gets told off/growled at by a stranger.

You told her she needed to apologise and apologised yourself - so how was there "no chance for an apology"?

You originally said she spoke nicely. Now you're saying she growled and told your dd off. Are you not getting the answer you want? Your dd was careless and caused someone else pain. It was a perfect moment to teach your dd about consequences and insist she said sorry.

Oh and princess dd was actually being really good today. mrsr dont know who you are but calling me a complete cow is definately bu and a bit personal, also irrelevant so kindly p* off and leave me to my
goodnight

and with hindsight wish id been less polite and said something.

Seriously? You wish you'd been less polite, and said something? Fuck me, I hope you're talking about your DD, although I'm 100% certain you're not.

The only thing you should have said is "behave, and apologise to the lady", to your DD.

lookbehind sorry my sarcasm was roo discreet i also said growled in the same sentence.

So not roo (phone)

Bloody phone too!

My MIL would be in agony if that happened as she has gout, so her reaction may seem nasty but it would be in a reaction to pain and knowing that, that pain would be there all day.

People are not understanding enough of health conditions and the needs of the elderly.

I had my first arguement on the bus today over the folding of a pram, today, so a disabled man didn't have to stand, two parents and the child wasn't even sitting in the buggy. I shut the woman up who went to make a comment, as well.

I don't understand why you think it is her fault that your DD was upset, she had the right to react. She didn't swear or shout.

When I am an old lady, I shall wear a big purple hat, and have a shopping trolley kitted out like one of Boudicca's chariots. I'm quite looking forward to getting old. I shall be exceptionally rude to ignorant people and their badly behaved offspring.

Has anyone mentioned gout, yet? (CBA to check.)
She could have had gout.

Ooh, Birds just mentioned gout!
and thoughts are with Birds MIL. Must really hurt.

For goodness sake, my dd was being well behaved, she was a bit careless, was told off and asked to apologise. I gave woman the benefit of doubt (although being there i think she was just annoyed more than hurt). What more could i have done? I told dd to apologise but she was genuinely upset so i apologised instead. Is it really U to think this was enough?

As was suggested earlier maybe she was pulling your leg, albeit a bit clumsily.

If she was in pain she wouldn't have been able to not limp so why are you going on about it. Did she tell you it wasn't enough for you to say sorry?

I do think your DD was being well behaved

I do understand her being too shy to apologise - hence you doing it for her

But I don't understand why the woman's hurt reaction annoyed you

Really it was something and nothing...best forgotten now.

My XFIL gets gout, if you saw how much pain he's in from knocking his foot, you wouldn't be so uppity.

Your DD is 4. That is plenty old enough to be perfectly capable of standing still and not 'fidgeting' enough to be stampeding all over other peoples' toes.

Well behaved AND a "bit careless"........?

Look, she hurt/injured/shocked someone, and then got told off. No biggie. Life goes on.

Yabvu, and the more you post, the more you sound like a horrible person that thinks your child being a little bit upset is more important than anything else in the world ever.

Do you really think this woman limped just for show to upset your child on purpose? YOU were in the wrong here, and you could have been a million times more apologetic but this woman's pain would have still been the same.

You should be thanking her, your child might learn to stand still in future, or you might learn that you need to prevent your child from fidgeting so much that they cause pain for someone else.

Thanks peoples i think you just showed me what i felt annoyed about. It wasnt her place to tell my child off or upset her. Yes if you're hurt, say ouch, even say to the child "ow that was my toe" so they are aware but you cant upset and tell another persons chilf off when they are clearlu aware and dealing with it

Did she tell your child off as well as saying "ouch that was my toe"?

I think this is obviously a case of totally apt user name.

The body language and direct staring and growly voice were imo th 'telling off'.it wasnt just a reaction or a statement but more a 'this is what youve done now what are you going to do about it?'
we all know words can sound threatening depending how theyre said and this felt like a telling off.

OP don't worry. I would not have apologised. It was your daughter that stepped on her, so why should you apologies? A 4 year old does not weigh a lot unless the kid is fat.

But she did say 'ow, that was my toe'

And if she was the one that was hurt, she has every right to tell off your child.

I reserve the right to tell off anyone to hurts me or mine, or who damages my stuff, or who messes up my house. If you don't want me to tell your child off, then don't let her hurt me/break my stuff/ etc.