To report my friend to the Social Services?

[BoxerShortShort]

My friend has booked to go and see a band in November. She asked me if I'd look after her kids and I said I couldn't as I was away that week - therefore she's planning on leaving them home alone from 5pm on Tuesday until 8am on the Wednesday. They're 12 and 14.
She always does leave them home alone so they are used to it but over night is different surely?

AIBU to inform the ss?

At 12 and 14 I'd have thought they could manage for one night.

Stay out of it.

I was left at this age. Butt out.

If the kids are sensible, happy to be left alone and capable of looking after themselves, I'm not sure SS would be interested.

Have you tried helping her find a sitter?

Or suggesting she encourages her kids to ask if they can stay at a friend's house that night?

I wouldn't leave a child overnight at that age, but tbh I don't think social services would think it was an issue.

i would think thats ok, as long as the 14 yr old is responsible. and it isnt your call to make that decision.

You don't like your friend very much either, do you?

I do like her but she's so selfish when it comes to the kids, she just buggers off and leaves them whenever she wants a night out or anything, she doesn't listen to anyone either. Of course the kids are happy to be left - no bedtime!

YABU.

I am a SW and i have left mine at that age, tbh, it does depend on the child, the area that they live in and whether there is family/friends close.

My 14 year old had a friend to stay, though.

You say that they are left? Then they have probably proven that they can cope.

I don't think they would be interested if you did.

I once had to look after my siblings (then 12, 10 and 8) on my own overnight while my mum and dad went to a gig. I was 14. Wasn't really a big deal tbh, and 14 is (I believe) legally old enough to "babysit" siblings without an adult present.

SS would probably just do this face if you called them about this, tbh. I know I would.

They are secondary school age!

Keep your nose out: they're not small children at risk.

I do like her but she's so selfish when it comes to the kids

You probably just have different expectations of child rearing. My DD's are very self reliant and independant, which i have helped to create.

My eldest at 27 and middle at 16, thanks me for it.

Both worked from the age of 12 and have careers paths to follow.

If one of them is 14 I would say it's fine.
I had to leave my ds over 2 years ago when my sister died in a city 200 miles away. He was 14 then too, I had no choice.
I had friends and neighbours checking up on him, I was worried but he was fine.

Yes but have you tried actually helping here or are you just adamant you want to report her?

I don't think they would be interested if you did

Unfortunately they would be duty bound to investigate, but i don't see why this would be something that you would do to a friend, who is doing nothing wrong.

you would be wasting their time and create an awfull lot of stress and upset to your friend if you did.

they would need to investigate and your friend will be left feeling betrayed by a friend and have no idea who it was.

i think you would be wicked and nasty and very irresponsible to waste social services time like that.

14 and 12 seems reasoanble to leave alone over night. If they are capable and they seem to have proven to be already.

Okay, let's say I can't imagine the investigation taking long!

But as others, say mean and totally unnecessary to report her for this. It's not abuse.

14 is plenty old enough to be left alone for one night, and the other child is old enough to be trusted under the 14 year old's care.

op,sounds like you have built up resentment .
This is not really an issue to contact ss about,as others have said.
Are you wishing you reported her for other times of neglect in the past?

YABU

I'd like to say more but I don't want to be deleted

Gosh I thought you were going to say they were young. I'm surprised she even looked for a sitter in the first place, given they are teens. The only thing that would worry me is its a school night. But ss? Are you quite bonkers?