To report my friend to the Social Services?

[BoxerShortShort]

My friend has booked to go and see a band in November. She asked me if I'd look after her kids and I said I couldn't as I was away that week - therefore she's planning on leaving them home alone from 5pm on Tuesday until 8am on the Wednesday. They're 12 and 14.
She always does leave them home alone so they are used to it but over night is different surely?

AIBU to inform the ss?

I'd leave my 14y, but not my 11y, but in a years time when she's done a year of senior school?

Yes I probably would. Y7 is a real learning curve.

I think it's okay to be left at home overnight at that age.

There is no law about age to leave DC alone, it's left to parental judgement.

I was left regularly on my own at that age with my much younger sibling overnight whilst my mother was in hospital with my stepdad who was dying. I had the neighbours who I could go to if needed, and no harm came to us. Even the police who turned up once didn't bat an eyelid.

YABU. If it was a 12 and 10 year old or younger, you may have a point, and definitely would if younger, but a 14 year old is more than capable IMO.

Some friend.

I don't think I actually would as I'd be looking at other options such as a couple of sleep-overs for them, But I think there's a lot of wisdom in those who're able to say "It's not what I'd do ... but it's probably OK/ no harm will be done"

What the NSPCC says and the .GOV is guidance, but over 14 parents can use discretion. They shouldn't be left overnight with a child under 10, ideally, though.

Some children are very confident and mature and everyone's circumstances are different.

When we had lots of shootings in my area, i didn't ever leave them in the house alone at all.

I think it is too young to be left all night. I wouldnt report to SS about it though. I do understand your concern.

i'd be more worried about the state of the house - and my choice in friends tbh

I was looking after my 6 yo brother overnight whilst my mum worked at 13, so I don't see a problem with what she's doing tbh. Social services probably wouldn't be interested. A week maybe, but one night?
You don't seem to like her much. Who needs enemies...

She's not doing anything wrong. At 14 it is legal to leave them at home minding another child. I'm glad you're not my friend tbh.

actually there is no such law that says that a 14 year old can be responsible, it seems to be a common myth. one can be 'done' for neglect until your children are about 17. If anything happened the 14 year old could/would not be held responsible, the parent would.
still think calling SS on this one would be spiteful not caring.

Do people really think that leaving a 12 yo without a responsible adult is ok?
A 14 yo is not a responsible adult and in anycase is too young to be left alone overnight themselves.
Shame on the social workers who have done this to their children.Talk about the blind leading the blind!

Some teens grow up a lot faster than others, my dd was working in a nursery one day a week and regulary babysitting, at 14, at 16 she is doing volunatry work in a MW department, as she knows that she wants to be a MW.

My DD supervised at MH unit at 24, after working in care from 17.

Behaviour has never been an issue with my girls.

Hmm, I've left our 13 yr old, but he had 17 yr old brother with him.

Wouldn't have done it otherwise, but if they are mature and happy to be left, sure they'll be fine.

Mary - Then its a myth that is spread by social services also, because I had a social worker try to bring up my mum leaving me a home with my 12 year old brother foir an hour an evening (she was working) and her manager told me that.

wow really? that is interesting, cos i did read that in an SS leaflet on neglect, which they kindly sent me after i left two 11 year olds alone for an hour.

advice from nspcc.

Depends on the kids as to whether it's actually a good idea!

But definitely not a SS issue.

I'd certainly expect any of my dc, by age 12, to be able to make a simple meal & get themselves to bed without disaster. I'd want there to be a neighbour or relative they could contact in an emergency, but a sensible learning experience towards independence IMO.

Mary you are correct in essence as you could be charged with neglect if leaving them alone would be likely to place them in harms way or if it would be dangerouse to do so. I doubt very much though that unless they where exceptionaly vulnerable that would be the case at 16 or 17, but the nspcc does state to leave a 16 year old alone for a week is unacceptable. Im a trainee social worker and I personaly do not agree with that and so Im pretty sure during investigation my judgement would have to come into this, if the children where not in imediate danger.

I think is hse leaving them every weekend to go out on the town thats not right but i think for a one off

It would ultimatly be down to the police wether or not to bring charges against parents.

I wouldn't leave them at this age. Depends on the 14 year old i suppose but not all of them are very responsible or sensible. Its putting a lot of responsibility on their shoulders. What if they decide they've had enough responsibility and bugger off out with their mates and leave the younger one alone?

Not sure about reporting though, but i don't know what the laws are regarding it.