To report my friend to the Social Services?

[BoxerShortShort]

My friend has booked to go and see a band in November. She asked me if I'd look after her kids and I said I couldn't as I was away that week - therefore she's planning on leaving them home alone from 5pm on Tuesday until 8am on the Wednesday. They're 12 and 14.
She always does leave them home alone so they are used to it but over night is different surely?

AIBU to inform the ss?

For me its not about them misbehaving its more about others taking advatnage it onlt takes you child to tell one friend on facee book their is a free house

And before you know it you have 100 kids at your house

TheEnthusiasticTroll sorry but nsspc is weong about leaving a 16 year old alone social services rountily do this

I am a foster carer young people of 16 are often sadly placed in b&b to fend for themselfs or in hostles wehave one in my la for 16-25 year olds

PooPooInMyToes and i do feel due the closeness in age it will be very diffuclt for the older child to have any athourty

I can just see it now 14 year old go to bed
12 year old no
14 do it now
12 year old bite me
14 year old i will tell mum
12 year old go on then

Also you have know way of knowing the 14 is giving the right type of care

I have a 14 and 12 yr old, plus a 9yr old.

Personally i'd not leave them overnight, even if it was just the 14 and 12 yr old, however, i also would not report to SS, thats just being OTT.

Depends upon the children entirely.

FWIW I would leave my now 16yo from possibly 10/11 - there is no way on this earth I would leave my now 17 and 12 yo until either of them are 46 (yes 46).

Its only about now I can actually leave them together without any sort of fight occurring. This time last year they would have murdered each other every time i went to the loo.

I still don't trust my 17yo - I would however be quite able to give my 16yo complete and utter trust.

precisely bojangles

tiggytape speaks sense

I have 2 very sensible DDs. I would not have left either of them alone, overnight, under the age of 16. It just wouldn't feel right to me.

Or the older one could take advantage of the authority in horrendous ways. Unlikely i know, but its what pops to my mind due to what I've learnt of friends experiences with sibling abuse. Having been abused myself Im probably hyper-aware!

Im sure its unlikely but from my experiences and what I've learnt from others, giving an older child responsibility over a younger can contribute to that. Obviously along with a lot of other factors.

well actually some children are vulnerable and become adults who can never take reasonable care for themselfs and are unable to be left alone, so not speaking that much sence.

At 14 I was looking after someone elses kids overnight!

DD1 is now 19, and awaiting her A level results. For her last year at school I rented her a flat nearby (to the school, not me, the school is in a different town). She is more than capable of looking after herself at uni, or on a gap year. Both of my DDs are very capable, and sensible. I've been told on here that I expect too much of them!

I still wouldn't have left them at 14. There is a massive difference in maturity between a 14, and a 16 year old.

Not something I would do - but not something I would call CS over unless there were other concerns.

Ss sent you a leaflet for leaving 11 yr olds alone for an hour?

What do you do when you work and they go to high school and childminders wont take them?

I'm nost sure leaving children that young is ok. I certainly wouldn't do it. You sound horrible though. Why would you even think of reporting your friend to Social Services.

*Ss sent you a leaflet for leaving 11 yr olds alone for an hour?

What do you do when you work and they go to high school and childminders wont take them?*
yes they did, and I got a very unpleasant man on the phone as well. I was lucky they did not open a case at that time.
As you say, high school is a problem.

And you call yourself a friend?

I have a 14 and a 12 year old they are both sensible girls who can be left alone for periods. I would not chose to leave them alone over night but nor if I had friends who did choose to do so with their of similar age would I be up in arms over it.

OP I wonder how old are your own children. As if they are say 8 and 6 it will be very hard to think in a few years this might be ok.

Mady its something I am worrying about. DD1 Is almost ten. When they go to secondary they finish at two here (start early as school is huge and bigger kids start and finish later)

No childminder will take them, I can't quit work and family not near enough for her to travel. No idea what I'm going to do.

BoxerShortShort - you don't sound like much of a friend. SS?? If you are that worried, can you not talk to your friend?
Like Frikadelien, I wonder how old your kids are. DD1 is a few years off 14, but while I don't believe I would choose to leave her alone overnight at 14, I would not freak out if I had friends who choose to do so with children of this age.

No idea what I'm going to do
greenwichgroove - if anything things get trickier as kids get older, as you say, no childminders, no after school clubs and the SS lurking.....
I have no suggestions other than changing your work hours and I know that may not be possible.
you do have some time to work things out, I suppose.

greenwichgroove - my GS started Yr 7 last year. I've got a DD in junior.
DS is not the most level headed or organised of children TBH .
I work 3 days a week.
He walks home ,gets in about 4pm.
He has a mobile phone, a key to the porch door and there's a key to the front door in a keysafe inside the porch. He set the number for the safe,He is responsible for the key being put back.

WRT to leaving children of 14 and 12. If anything happened to them, the parent could be charged with neglect.

My DC know they may not answer the phone (unless it's our agreed,preplanned ring), answer the door, cook anything or have anyone in the house.