I do not understand why people have kids when they can not afford them.

[sea74]

I know this topic will create lots of critics but i want to share my thoughts and see if anyone agrees or i am the odd one out.
I come from a european country where the fertility rate is 1.4 that is each woman/family has 1.4 child. Grandparents very often are the to help, but women (and men) are responsible enough not to have children if they can not afford them or look after them.
I grew up thinking that i want children not because i want them for me but because i have to donate life and their life must be a good life. Children are not mine but they are individuals.

Having said that, when i moved to the UK, i realised how things are different.
I feel that many people think children will not change their lives, they get pregnant easily, they do not really worry too much (and take contraception) in order to avoid pregnancies.
Then, when they have the child, you see that often these children live in broken families, or the single mothers do not have 50 pounds to buy them a decent meal, or they are left in front of the tv all summer because they had not planned childcare is expensive and grandparents live far.

Children should be planned carefully, i think and it is very selfish to have them without thinking of (and being ready for) the consequences.

Absolutely Orwellian! More child poverty! That'll larn the workshy layabouts!

All the in the world.

Oh yes ofc I'm aware it's not fool proof. But it would help, particularily women have more control over their own bodies. I don't give a damn if people are in benefits, they are bloody struggling. But on a personal level hsving more control of when you have children is a positive thing.

MN seems increasingly populated by screeching harpies...

Quite a Daily Mail point of view this "if you don't like it here go home".
(Doubt there are many "Guardianistas" here, if only!)

OP, don't you know that you are not allowed to criticise or question any choices the British make...because it is their right to choose to do whatever they like...and then moan when things don't go their way (and expect others to pick up the pieces).

CherryBrandy makes excellent points.

And loads of people are careless with contraception.

I was a single mum for 3 years, drained the benefit system lived the lavish lifestyle of second hand tv, clothes and bathing once a week, DD is all grown up now, she has now become a drain, DLA and a disabled access extension partially funded by your taxes.
If only I had known what a drain she would have become, I could have terminated her, but then again I am entitled.

Accidents happen and circumstances change and its good we support families who find themselves needing it but i do think it's socially and morally irresponsible when people try for babies they can't finacially afford to support.

These threads sure help me to update my MN shitlist.

Me too usual

::makes new column::

Actually I'd say that the OP reeks of the Daily Mail. Not the responses.

If only people who could 'afford' dcs had them the human race would die out.

bytheway people like your sister are very very few and far between

"bytheway people like your sister are very very few and far between"

icecold unfortunaley I dont believe this is true as I live and work close to areas where this is the norm!

most people rely on benefits short term
most people aspire to work

yeah,yeah people always live near or work near the feckless fuckers.

Has op gone?

So she is Italian. Hmm. I don't know, I kind of loosely agree with some thongs she has said. Loosely.

Thongs!??? 'things' bloody phone!

Margerykemp

If only people with money could afford to have babies, we might finish up with fewer poor people (many of whom are thickos determined to be dependent on our tax money). Because more affluent people have values and 'standards' we might have fewer teenage mothers.

Disclaimer: I absolve widows and divorcees because I have been there.

Another one to add to the list usual

{wink] usual

holiday unless you know all of these people, you cant possibly know what they have done in the past, what they want to do in the future or what there attitude to work is....

Have you deduced that all the inhabitants of an area, have the same attitude to benefits and live and having kids, based on obsevations/snapshots?

So only poor people have children who end up as teenage mothers.

So Naice teenagers from affluent families never have sex?

WTF? poor people are thickos and have no values and standards?

So are people seriously suggesting it's a good idea to have more DC whe you can't cope financially/time-wise etc with the ones you've got? Really?

In Italy, one of the main problems that they seem to face with children is that once adult, the majority appear to continue to live in the family home. For a decade or more.
So that might change my mindset about having half a dozen, you can stack them in bunkbeds when small, but DS is now 6' and takes up a lot of space. I can't imagine what I'd do with 4 more of him.

usualsuspect I said '... poor people many of whom are thickos'. I did not say that they all were. Certainly some are not and I've met some well, one or two.

You are already on my shitlist, I just need an ignore poster option now.

What level of Disposable income is acceptable before you start having kids?
How much do you have to earn before DC2 or DC3?
Or should we just stop anyone on benefits from having children?