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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I do not understand why people have kids when they can not afford them.

727 replies

sea74 · 07/08/2012 10:15

I know this topic will create lots of critics but i want to share my thoughts and see if anyone agrees or i am the odd one out.
I come from a european country where the fertility rate is 1.4 that is each woman/family has 1.4 child. Grandparents very often are the to help, but women (and men) are responsible enough not to have children if they can not afford them or look after them.
I grew up thinking that i want children not because i want them for me but because i have to donate life and their life must be a good life. Children are not mine but they are individuals.

Having said that, when i moved to the UK, i realised how things are different.
I feel that many people think children will not change their lives, they get pregnant easily, they do not really worry too much (and take contraception) in order to avoid pregnancies.
Then, when they have the child, you see that often these children live in broken families, or the single mothers do not have 50 pounds to buy them a decent meal, or they are left in front of the tv all summer because they had not planned childcare is expensive and grandparents live far.

Children should be planned carefully, i think and it is very selfish to have them without thinking of (and being ready for) the consequences.

OP posts:
NovackNGood · 07/08/2012 23:04

What is your point care. Are you another of the anti-immigrant bashers on.

Ghostship are you really so obtuse you think having a child costs no money.

Moominsarescary · 07/08/2012 23:05

ghost I also worked as a carer for 10 years. What you have put is all too familiar.

NovackNGood · 07/08/2012 23:06

Oh wondered how long before the guardian clap trat propaganda that even the socialist worker refuses to print was trotted out.

GhostShip · 07/08/2012 23:07

What the....? Where have I said I think a child costs no money?! I said earlier I haven't had a child yet I want some money behind my back first. Confused

moomins so it's not just the company I worked for :(

MaryHansack · 07/08/2012 23:09

where is the 'guardian clap trat'? what do you mean?

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/08/2012 23:09

Wow, there are some vile people on this thread tonight.
Usual I applaud you for staying so calm.
And that is the only comment I'll make on this thread, as quite frankly. there are some fucking scary people around.

Moominsarescary · 07/08/2012 23:12

I don't know, did you work for bupa? Fecking awful company. Actually Bupa used to bring people over from other countrys to work as hca's. Of course those with families claimed tax credits. They couldn't afford to live other wise. Those who were single tended to stay in empty rooms at the nursing homes until they could afford to rent somewhere togeather.

carernotasaint · 07/08/2012 23:14

Novack you just dont like the fact that Europeans are having to use the food banks now too because it blows your argument out of the water. Im just pointing out that many of the Europeans working here are as badly off as the British ppl who are on low wages.
You are only playing the race card or trying to because you think its a trump card. Show me in my posts where i said im anti immigrant.
Oh and by the way my mums Italian and came over here in the "60s. I posted the bit about the people from Romania to show that they are having to use the food banks too because they are struggling on low wages just as much as the British are.
DONT try to play the race card with no basis in fact just because you dont like being proved wrong.

GhostShip · 07/08/2012 23:14

No a much smaller company, but has homes all over the place.

Shocked at Bupa!

usualsuspect · 07/08/2012 23:16

I'm staying calm LBE, because they use the report button to get you deleted. Wink

Really I want to say don't be such a twat.

carernotasaint · 07/08/2012 23:17

I do LOVE the fact that im being called anti immigrant and racist just because ive pointed out that Europeans working over here are as badly off as we are AND i was able to back that point up.

achillea · 07/08/2012 23:18

Novack - These 'europeans' coming over doing the jobs our 'feckless' British workers won't do, don't see this a home, don't invest in their neighbourhoods and send as much out of the UK as possible. How is that good for the taxpayer?

GhostShip · 07/08/2012 23:19

I'm also anti immigrant apparently, because I said there were Nigerian agency workers that would readily take my place Hmm

Scrounginscum · 07/08/2012 23:22

I had savings once. In fact they were the reason I didn't claim JSA when made redundant even though I was entitled to contribution based payments after paying tax for 13 years. They were also the reason I survived as long as I did on low pay without CTC. All gone now though.

NovackNGood · 07/08/2012 23:22

You didn't prove me wrong at all dear. If you believe what you read in the guardian then more fool you.

And you do come across as anti-immigrant. Xenophobic is what that is. Not sure how you are about other races.

Scrounginscum · 07/08/2012 23:22

I had savings once. In fact they were the reason I didn't claim JSA when made redundant even though I was entitled to contribution based payments after paying tax for 13 years. They were also the reason I survived as long as I did on low pay without CTC. All gone now though.

LadyBeagleEyes · 07/08/2012 23:23

I bet you'd like to say more than 'twat'.Grin
But you're right, this could never be a debate because people will report as soon as you get a bit argumentative and MN will press their delete button.
Bloody shame, 'cos I'm raring to go with some well thought out insults Wink

Moominsarescary · 07/08/2012 23:23

I worked for a few smaller company's who had lots of homes but bupa were by far the worst. They used to employ people from over seas and tell them they'd pay for the adaptation so they could work as nurses over here. They would get here and it wouldn't happen so they were stuck working as hca's on nmw until their contact ran out, which was a year

It's a good job I re read that, my predictive text changed people from over seas to murderers from over seas, I don't think they did that

GhostShip · 07/08/2012 23:24

Novak you're just on a wind up and you know it.

sancerreity · 07/08/2012 23:24

..and i would like to know how cheap immigrant labour has helped the British economy when they are living 4 to a room and then sending every penny they can back home? before the Thatcher govt you werenot allowed to move money out of the country.

Scrounginscum · 07/08/2012 23:24

We deserve it though lady for being poor.

usualsuspect · 07/08/2012 23:24

Yep, its all about the delete on MN just lately.

GhostShip · 07/08/2012 23:25

Moomins that last bit made me laugh too much! My auto correct changed 'terrible pains' to 'terrible sheds' earlier on. God damn those terrible sheds...

Moominsarescary · 07/08/2012 23:25

Actually it should have said nurses, not people!

carernotasaint · 07/08/2012 23:26

How the FUCK am i anti immigrant just because i said that EVERY person working in Britain on poor low wages is EQUALLY badly off no matter what their nationality.

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