I do not understand why people have kids when they can not afford them.

[sea74]

I know this topic will create lots of critics but i want to share my thoughts and see if anyone agrees or i am the odd one out.
I come from a european country where the fertility rate is 1.4 that is each woman/family has 1.4 child. Grandparents very often are the to help, but women (and men) are responsible enough not to have children if they can not afford them or look after them.
I grew up thinking that i want children not because i want them for me but because i have to donate life and their life must be a good life. Children are not mine but they are individuals.

Having said that, when i moved to the UK, i realised how things are different.
I feel that many people think children will not change their lives, they get pregnant easily, they do not really worry too much (and take contraception) in order to avoid pregnancies.
Then, when they have the child, you see that often these children live in broken families, or the single mothers do not have 50 pounds to buy them a decent meal, or they are left in front of the tv all summer because they had not planned childcare is expensive and grandparents live far.

Children should be planned carefully, i think and it is very selfish to have them without thinking of (and being ready for) the consequences.

And in my opinion, it's been there for so long that when it's questioned you get viewed as a sort of Child Catcher.

Yeah yeah yeah women need it. Well I need it, I have a cat. Oh, and a car. And I look after my Mum, who has dementia and I DON'T qualify for carer's allowance. And don't get me started on funding for dementia - or the lack of it.

I shall inform my DD that due to the fact she is highly likely to spend most of her life living on benefits that she should never have sex, not unless she can ensure that the man who marries her can guarantee that he will earn a high salary and have a job for life.

Yep, sounds OK to me.

The government keeps the little people where it needs them (the carers, food pickers) they are in low paid jobs and end up reliant on benefits. So there they stay. Too hard to better themselves. And the cycle goes on and on.

It wouldn't work if we was all well off, people wouldn't do the shitty jobs that need doing. It's sad and unfair. But that's life.

Thank You abody it's nice to know some people don't hold the view that it's disgusting we are having a child, it seems very very common.

Hahahaha at reporting posts.

Run to mummy did you when someone disagreed with you?

There's some pond life on here today

"Hahahaha at reporting posts.

Run to mummy did you when someone disagreed with you?"

NO. When someone told the OP to fuck off back to her own country.

Thats not the only post deleted.

trickle I don't think it's remotely disgusting.

But if it were me, I'd be hugely concerned about my family being reliant upon benefits that I simply couldn't be sure will continue. If this government pulls the rug out from under your feet, what will you do?

And you behave in decent respectful manner Lapis?

Telling someone to fuck off back to their own country is just a pile of racist shit. Posters are only defendiong it because they don't like what the OP is saying.

In other circumstances they'd be hopping up and down.

Thank fuck for tax credits, I'd possibly not have had 4 children if they didn't exist...

"Thats not the only post deleted*.

No, indeed. Unfortunately there were quite a few of them. All of them deleted. Oh, and the vicious, nasty oh-so-funny "poem" someone posted earlier. How disappointing for you, I know but do bear up, chin chin.

wah wah wah, someone on the internet is wrong.

Pathetic.

Loving your work as usual, usual

Except Ghostship I know some people who love caring, who don't want to move up the ladder because they find the job so rewarding working with the people themselves. DH spent a short period of time working for the local council in the gardening dept doing the grunt work and he's often wished he could go back to that as he enjoyed it so much, but at the time he had to move onto something better paid, if it had brought in a better wage he'd probably have stayed till retirement.

The jobs a lot of people see as crap don't have to be and often it's a combination of the way people are managed (disrespected, underappriciated and overworked) and paid that makes us think they are not good jobs. I think it's known as job snobbery? I really don't think we place enough value on certain things - like shelf stackers and cahiers, we'd be screwed if they all went on stirke but a lot of people think it would be terrible to end up there - only becasue the pay is crap and you are often micromanaged and treated badly.

No one for one minute thinks that the poor who can't afford children got pregnant from a one off accident of failed contraception. If that was the case then only around one to two percent of the feckless families would have children, equal to the failure rates of most forms of contraception.

Denise I was just interested to know how low you would go in paying your employees if there were no minimum wage. Could you in all conscious pay yourself more knowing people are living off a wage that cant even pay for basic rent.

No you reported the ones you didn't like.

Pathetic.

usualsuspect that's what happened with me in the ear piercing thread but you weren't too concerned then.....

trickle people like us just get stuck. I suppose it's a good thing otherwise the jobs just wouldn't get done. I hate how people think just because my wage is crap than I'm not skilled. I know a lot and can do a lot, my wage just doesn't reflect it unfortunately. But I'm not gunna bang on about it and feel sorry for myself because there's a lot of people in the same boat. I don't think people really understand unless they've done it or seen it for themselves.

I am lovely, poor but lovely.

You do know you would not even have a business if it weren't for your employees.