AIBU To be annoyed that a complete stranger picked up my child and tried to play with him!

[Sunny08]

Went to a beautiful wedding on saturday, on sunday we had a celebration bbq. ds didn't attend wedding but did come to bbq next day. Whilst he was playing he wandered over to this group of guys and girls, and one of the girls without warning just scooped him and started spinning him round trying to get him to play. He is only 18mths and shy at the best of times. She made a comment about him being mr grumpy as he was struggling to get away from her and as I was only a few feet behind her I walked up, took him off her and said 'I'm sorry he isn't great with complete strangers especially when they just randomly pick up!' I turned and left as didn't want to cause a scene at our friends celebration. She had been drinking and I was polite but obviously annoyed - I had never before seen or spoken to this girl in my life and it was quite obvious she was trying to use my son as a 'look aren't I good with children' infront of her friends'. Apparently she complained to the bride later that I was really rude to her - AIBU? Personally I thought I was bloomin polite given what i was thinking of saying!!!

No need for the sadface. Thankfully, there are plenty of other ways of interacting with small children other than twirling them over your head like a baton (just helping with the exaggeration a bit ;-)). I genuinely love kids, interact with them all over the place. But usually this involves smiling, chatting, playing. Everytime I take my 2 year old she gets chatted to, smiled at. It's lovely. Brits aren't actually that bad at interacting with small children IME.

YANBU, strangers engaging/playing/talking to your child is lovely. Seems she skipped this and cut straight to spinning round..This may have been at a wedding but she is still a stranger to you and your child. Can't believe she went and told the bride either - was that really necessary?

Very inconsiderate of her to have complained to the bride.

YANBU

It's not being 'nice' if the child ends up crying & distressed.

If my dd wandered over & showed an interest in (eg) some fairy lights and a stranger picked her up to give her a closer look then I would be very happy. However if she was going about her own toddler business and got frightened by someone grabbing her unexpectedly then I hope I would be half as polite as the OP was - especially if they were swinging her whilst being drunk and potentially endangering her.

I don't see why the OP is getting a hard time, she wasn't complaining about someone entertaining her child, she was cross because a stranger upset her child and then complained that it was the child's fault for being grumpy! And she wasnt even particularly rude!

Poor woman! I'd have been so upset if someone said that to me. I think picking him up was a tiny bit over the top but she was probably feeling the love with it being a wedding and all!

yabu. It is no big deal to offend a kid by picking him up in an effort to amuse him. Or even in a failed effort to show your friends you are good with children.

I picked up a little girl on the beach the other day. Her brothers jumpes down the sea wall with their ice creams and ran off.

She sat down and got stuck half on half off with a huge 99 in hand. Parents were halway down the beach. I didn't think anything of hoiking her down and I hope her parents were happy to see that someone stepped in before she got hurt or upset.

Well a massive polish man (I'm just saying that to explain that his English was limited, he didn't really say anything to me first and he was massively huge) I'd never seen before picked up my 10 month old baby at a toddler group, took her in his arms and smothered her in kisses and cuddled her for about half an hour. She loved it and I felt a bit redundant, later he told me he has four boys and really wants a daughter.

Maybe the girl was tipsy but she took a shine to your son so be pleased about that!

if a girl did that to my DS? i would go grab a coffee and be thankful for a few moments without him!

YABU.

Yes, I took the opportunity to go to the toilet and relax for a while.

Lol Pavlov!

oh i read that as you took the opportunity to take a crap?

teapots of course while keeping a watchful eye

YANBU, if a drunk stranger picked up my child I would certainly be rude to them.

It's really not the best thing to do. Children are not fair game, they are human beings who have their own sensitivities and preferences and personal space.

No, you know, just have a chat without holding the moving one back from the choking hazards thrown about by the older ones.

Except she wasn't a 'drunk' stranger until Op started to change the story to get more people to agree with her.

If she was a fellow guest then you do sound as if you were unnecessarily rude.

YANBU. And I wouldn't say you were rude tbh, you were factual and to the point.

Just because a child is playing happily in your (generic your) vicinity, that doesn't give you the right to pick him up and swing him about, nor to get arsey if he isn't delighted with being grabbed unexpectedly by a drunk stranger.

If I was in this woman's shoes - having upset and frightened a baby who'd previously been playing happily - then I'd have been full of apologies to the parent, not complaining about having to have an unhappy , unfamiliar baby taken off me.

Fwiw, being a sociable child is not the same as being happy to be grabbed by complete strangers. Lots of children are sociable once they feel comfortable with a situation ; I'm amazed so many think their toddlers would have been happy with this.

And just because it happens on the Med doesn't make it right - my children would have been distressed to have been taken from me and passed around a load of strangers.

She's a drunk stranger now is she?

If I leave for another half an hour she will be a prison escapee high on crystal meth.

Like Chinese whispers this!

i don't think she can have been that drunk at all...not if she registered your rudeness complaint and managed to relay that to the bride

get over yourself really.

A drunk stranger now, AND the child was terrified and crying.

New developments apparently

Hahaha it's lucky you don't live where I live!

drunk or not I still think it's an invasion of the personal space of the child.

It reminds me of those weirdos who try to pat pregnant people's bumps.

By all means be freindsly and play with the child but maybe start by talking to them first rather than picking them up and swinging them around

You were rude, you could have just taken him back.

This thread is funny though, thanks bups the orange I was drinking just came straight out my nose