AIBU to not want to split costs in three?

[ElizabethDarcy]

My DH and I go away with my single brother now and again - we try and get a family room, and split the cost in three.

A couple of times, when he has made the booking, I have paid what he has said is our share... and then realised afterwards that he had simply added the cost of the single room and the double room together, and split the cost in 3. So we ended up paying more for our double room = subsidizing his room.

We have an upcoming weekend away and he will have a twin room and us a double... and he's said 'let's just split it in 3'... and I really do not think it's fair. Have said we need a family room, or he pays (in full) for his own room.

AIBU?

He thinks I am... 'poor me, always paying so much as a single person...' The usual story. We cannot help it that he is single.

Or just book a double for yourself and tell him to cancel the booking he has made for you.

Tell him you are unwilling to pay for a room you are not using.

is this purely for hotel or are their flight costs involved?

and board?

Not Fair? He needs to take it up with the hotel then - you're just paying for what you're using!

Going against the grain I would split the costs 3 ways. It's not his fault that hotels charge a single persons supplement.

I think it's unfair that it costs him twice as much as you to go to the same place, he's your brother for gods sake, you should split things evenly.

I agree with mellen - ask him to cancel the booking because you can't be doing with the argument, and book your own room.

He is 40. He needs to have a word with himself, the big child.

Hotel rooms are paid per room so if you are sharing a room this time it is 2/3s your responsibility and 1/3 his. If you have seperate rooms he has to suck it up. It's not your fault he's single!

respond with 'that's a shame but if you don't feel you can afford it feel free not to come...we will miss you ' !

Reply why should we pay £21 more?

If you dislike your brother so much that you begrudge paying an extra £20 I'm surprised you want to go away with him

Why don't you simply stop taking holidays with your weirdo brother ?

pinkyredrose - why should we pay more than we need to??? We subsidize him in other ways... he often spends the weekend at ours etc. eg: lounges on the couch expecting maid service. I am an easy going and generous sister, but this, over the years, has been ongoing and we cannot help it he is single. This is always what it boils down to.

It's a hotel and breakfast, petrol will be split equally.

Reply 'not sure why you don't understand that we pay for our room that we will be using and you pay for your room that you will be using'

40 and behaves like this? YANBU

Sounds like he actually doesn't understand?

Explain to him:

Our double room costs x, we will pay for it, we are using it.
Your single room costs y, you will pay for it, you are using it.

The amounts x and y are up to the hotel - not your fault.

Ask his why you should pay for part of a room that you don't use!

I wouldn't go away with someone who was so entitled and arrogant tbh. If you must, insist on separate bookings.

I think we may know the reason he remains single

He is tighter than cramp!

I can see his point. If you were 3 friends going away for the weekend and although you usually shared a family room this time you could only get a double and a single would you really expect the person who had to have the single to pay extra? I wouldn't. And before you say that's different, that's probably how he sees it.

YANBU if he is choosing the hotel then he has plenty of options to choose a hotel with a single room at a price that he can afford.

A lot of hotels have a reduced rate for singles or single rooms. There are so many hotel choices these days that there is no need for this.

YABU to continue to put up with it. Book and pay for your own room, or book on Hotels.com and then you can clearly see the invoiced amount you owe. (plus you can get 1 night free for every 10 nights you book)

ENormaSnob

I was thinking the same .

But it is different Lee - I expect that 2/3 of a family room is less than 1 double room too - so they're both paying extra if they don't get a family room - the brother just wants them all to pay the same extra (whilst getting his own room - ie benefitting more) rather than each pay the extra that they're incurring.

Not sure what's weirder here - the people who think you should pay more than the market rate for a room so your poor brother doesn't have to pay the rate for his room OR your brother who thinks.........oh wait, same thing.
Total weird set up and YWBVVVVU to entertain it for even a nanosecond.

I know one thing for certain... were he in a relationship it would make my life easier.. as the closest family member to him... in various ways.

Love him loads... but why should an older brother expect his younger sister to pay toward his room that he has all to himself?

I have asked him to see if the hotel will give him a single supplement. Otherwise he will have to cancel and we find a family room/a venue that offers a single supplement.

The problem is... he cannot ever put himself in other people's shoes... he is so self involved.. and only thinks about how things affect him, not others.

I think that single person supplements are miserable but on the other hand your brother will be getting a room for his sole use and occupancy. Presuming that he isn't actually being put in a broom cupboard, why should you have to contribute to his luxury surroundings?

So you think he should be financially punished for daring to be single?

But you're ok with that because you're not single and it costs you less?

What happened to families helping each other out?!

How odd.

Just pay for your room.

He pays for his.

Unless the three of you share 1room.