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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be proud of my ds for being beautiful?

137 replies

louloutheshamed · 05/08/2012 19:05

This is troubling me. Two strangers have actually stopped me in the street recently to tell me how beautiful my 18 mo ds is. I think it is the first time I have known what it is like to 'burst with pride' but when I thought about it I think maybe this is wrong? There are things in my life, degree, successes at work etc, that actually have required effort that could be classed as achievements to be proud of, but the fact that average looking dh and I have managed to produce a heart stoppingly beautiful boy is just an accident really isn't it? So why do I feel prouder of this than stuff that requires effort? Disclaimer: I know all children are beautiful etc

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/08/2012 19:07

All children are beautiful (mostly! Grin) but not all children look beautiful.

To you he will always be beautiful because he's your child so YANBU.

Yama · 05/08/2012 19:08

It's very normal I believe to feel proud of one's children. Maybe 'proud' isn't the right word but it's the closest to describing what you feel. Maybe we need a new word.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 05/08/2012 19:10

Oh, come on, you're not doing it deliberately woman! Grin

You're only being out of order if you boast about it (in RL, MN is fine cos we don't know you!).

lisad123 · 05/08/2012 19:13

Wondering of OP has picture of ds on profile? Wink

DelGirl · 05/08/2012 19:22

My dd 7 is beautiful natch Wink and I get comments all the time, I like that she has somehow got a rogue good look gene but sometimes the inside doesn't match the outside Hmm.

A year or so ago I said to her that she is beautiful and she said i'm not so I said yes you are and she said maybe to you as you're my mum but not to everyone Smile

Pandemoniaa · 05/08/2012 19:36

dgd is beautiful. This is not just the deluded musings of a besotted grandmother either. However, I do take pleasure in people commenting on it and I don't over analyse my reaction. There are all sorts of other achievements in my life that I'm genuinely proud (and can take 100% of the credit for!) of but complete strangers know nothing of them and thus can't comment. So I thank them for their compliments and wander off all besotted. This state of affairs often lasts until we are round the next corner and The Beautiful One throws a tantrum...

GhostShip · 05/08/2012 19:47

You're not unreasonable, but don't put too much into it. Much more to being a good person than beauty :)

lovebunny · 05/08/2012 19:51

just enjoy. seeing your ds is making other people happy. enjoy.

Sassybeast · 05/08/2012 19:53

I would find it bizarre (and perhaps a little worrying) if a parent or grand parent did not consider their own child to be beautiful (in any sense of the word)

Downandoutnumbered · 05/08/2012 19:59

YANBU. DS is beautiful (not just to the eye of love - we routinely get stopped by random strangers and told how gorgeous he is), and I do feel irrationally proud that very average-looking DH and I have produced this lovely infant. And for his sake I hope it lasts: he'll have a much easier life if he's good-looking!

RawShark · 05/08/2012 20:04

will we have a lot of good looking people sayign how rubbish their life has been to date? I had a friend once who claiemd to be depressed because she was so good-looking so don;t count your chickens (this is true story, funnily enough we lost touch)

McHappyPants2012 · 05/08/2012 20:06

Yanbu, I have offers for modelling for my dd. she has blonde hair with ringlets and the brightest blue eyes. She is beautiful and i get very proud of her

Birdsgottafly · 05/08/2012 20:06

My DD's are very attractive, my middle DD would give any film star a run for their money and i do take pride in how she looks, when i am out with her.

We are proud of our children for lots of stuff that they have just been given naturally.

RawShark · 05/08/2012 20:09

Oh and my DS is beautiful when he smiles, otherwise he's just sweet. YANBU for being proud, and I am sure you are more sensible than to communicate this to him as he grows up

Viperidae · 05/08/2012 20:10

My DD is 21 and is stunningly good looking and, of course, I am proud of that but I am even prouder of the fact that she is a nice person with good values. She was at school with some girls who were very pretty but were unkind or selfish or obsessed with appearances, etc so it is the beauty combined with the other stuff that makes me proud.

RaisinDEritrea · 05/08/2012 20:15

YANBU

My DS2 is incredibly cute, with a big AWWWW factor; DS1 is jawdroppingly beautiful, folk turn heads as he ambles by

Tis weird because to be frank, DH and I were quite erm Far Back in the queue for Good Looks (he has an ENORMOUSLY huge head, I have irregular features, cor we sound LOVELY Grin)

MrsJohnMurphy · 05/08/2012 20:39

YANBU there is nothing wrong with being proud that your ds is good looking, as long as you don't make a big hoohaa out of it and give him an ego the size of a planet Grin. Tbh even beautiful children can go through awkward gawky teeth all wonky phases.

My 3 are gorgeous, natch, but I'm not so blind that I can't see that sometimes other children are very striking or unusually good looking.

Onlyhappywhenitrains · 05/08/2012 20:43

Im always a bit Envy of people with beautiful children as my ds is average at best (probably my fault as apparently he looks like me).
I think people are always proud when they have produced a beautiful child, it is the first thing people notice and if they don't know anything else about the child then that is what they will comment on.

discrete · 05/08/2012 20:44

That feeling is not just because he is beautiful, it is the normal parent feeling for anyone recognising that our DC are wonderful in whatever way.

Looking nice is just the most likely thing that an 18 mo will get commented on by strangers for, but as they get older it will be all sorts of random stuff that you wouldn't normally give a stuff about.

It's all part of the joy of parenthood. Our sophisticated, rational, educated self goes out the window and the primeval feelings take over.

Still nice, though.

catgirl2012 · 05/08/2012 20:46

YANBU

I think my DS is heart stoppingly beautiful (pictures on my profile)

But I think all parents feel like that - and I think that is a wonderful, lovely and marvellous thing and just the way it should be :) Not U at all. Just lovely.

Like someone else said, it would only be U if you boasted and gloated IRL.

On MN is fine though Grin

NagooingForGold · 05/08/2012 21:00

YANBU I had some nice old ladies coo over baby goo a couple of times, and I get the bursty pride feeling :)

DS is a good looking boy. I am not sure how much of this is objective fact and how much I am deluded, but I don't mind Grin

As he gets bigger all of the other things he can do will make you much prouder than how pretty he is. Wait for the first observation of profound philosphical importance Grin

kilmuir · 05/08/2012 21:04

Shame strangers just go by looks, i find beautiful personality more endearing than a cute look

PorkyandBess · 05/08/2012 21:09

Some people always coo over small kids.

I can't think many parents go through the early years without being stopped for cooing and fawning by strangers. Most kids are very cute!

Charliefox · 05/08/2012 21:09

Catgirl, your horse is heart stoppingly beautiful!

Onlyhappywhenitrains · 05/08/2012 21:10

See no one EVER cooed over my poor ds. Except relatives and they don't count!