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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Im thinking of setting up a petiton i think iding as gone too far what do you think?

143 replies

rushgirl28 · 05/08/2012 16:18

I think iding has gone far enough i got told to to leave a bookies was humiated and upset i didnt think bring my passport on holiday then i found out my expired passport no use cant be used.Which means if i want to b an adult i have to pay money out to get a id.its not fair and going to be 30 in two weeks anyone else feel the same?if do i going set up the petition?

OP posts:

GhostShip · 05/08/2012 19:07

Sometimes ID'ing makes people's day. My mums 38, got ID'd the other day in Asda and was very chuffed

BMW6 · 05/08/2012 19:10

OP nearer 8 than 28 and a troll to boot!! (or is simply Vicki Pollard, innit)

Original poster

rushgirl28 · 05/08/2012 19:14

you dont even know me im leaving goodbye

OP posts:

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 19:22

Shullbit

What do you mean?

Shullbit · 05/08/2012 19:37

I mean when someone who has got ID and is with someone who doesn't have ID. I gave my story a few posts ago, and TheQueen gave hers about being refused alcohol on the basis you might be buying it for who you are with. Where does it end? As I take my 14 year old sister shopping with me in the school holidays, would I also be refused then in case I am buying it for her? Or what about my 8 year old son?

I would like to know why it is refused on this basis and exactly when it is ok to sell alcohol to someone who is obviously with someone underage. Is it when they are 10 years old? 12? 16? Should I never go the shops with anyone under 18 or who doesn't have ID on them when wanting to buy alcohol for myself? Where exactly is the line drawn?

NagooingForGold · 05/08/2012 19:40

BMW6?

Pandemoniaa · 05/08/2012 19:44

Could you perhaps get a little less irate and a little more coherent?

I realise that it must be frustrating to be asked for ID when you are well over the minimum age for whatever purchase/activity you are embarked on but in most cases it is the interpretation that is at fault. Not the principle.

Pandemoniaa · 05/08/2012 19:45

you dont even know me im leaving goodbye

Possibly the most sensible thing you've said on this thread. Cheerio.

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 05/08/2012 19:50

I wondered where that aspect of it ends shullbit.
Her refusing to sell my mum the alcohol was pointless - Its not illegal to give your child alcohol at home for a start. So even if my mum had said "Well yes one of the lagers will be given to my 13 year old son with dinner later on" that's not illegal!

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 19:54

Shulbit

I haven't got a shop, but bars must not sell alcohol, for example, to someone who is drunk, or for someone who is buying alcohol for a person who is drunk; and the same for underragers.

So if you came to my bar with a youngster (there are other age rules) and bought a gin and tonic and a lemonade, I would presume, unless I had reason to think otherwise, that the gin was for you and the lemonade for the youngster. Sometimes I might mention it. If you asked for a gin and tonic plus a bacardi breezer, I would not sell it.

Perhaps your DD was looking thirstily at the gin, or perhaps the shop assistants have been given special instructions, as shop employee rules. My licence would include a alcohol shop if I wanted one, but I don't recall any legal rules about off sales to adults accompanied by youngsters.

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 05/08/2012 20:06

Piglet - I was talking about shops and I think shullbit was too.

A bar is different. I've only ever been asked I.D once though, ironically, the only time I have not been intending to drink at all! I had just been witness to a horrific assault and was looking for my OH who was out with a friend.

The woman on the door asked for I.D which was a bit of a ball ache, but all was resolved easily as I explained the situation and said I was only looking for my partner and would be happy for her to escort me if she was worried I was trying to pull a fast one.

She was perfectly pleasant. I've never had a problem tbh. I don't understand why people get so angry.

When I get asked in shops I just say "Oh, no sorry I don'tn nevermind!" And pay for other items or leave if I've not bought anything else. I have never felt the need to get irate, even in the situation above where I was already highly distressed.

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 20:12

I think it will be a rule by the shop managers then, rather than the law, or possibly the local licencing officer has advised that they will come down very hard on a shop that sells alcohol to an adult who is buying it on behalf of some horrible young urchin person.

In my area underage drinking is mostly in parks and side-roads using cheap supermarket lager, and a shop with a bad reputation lost its licence and went bust (hooray).

Shullbit · 05/08/2012 20:17

I doubt my partners 18 year old sister was looking thirstily at the gin, considering she had already bought hers (and only drinks alcopops) and only came with me to help me carry the bags as my Osteoarthritis was playing up and I was needing to use a crutch. Plus, she was 18 and could go out drinking at any time she wanted, so can't see why she would behave that way to be honest.

Up till now, I have never actually been refused alcohol when with my 14 year old sister. And she looks at least 16 and has been getting into 15 films for some time. She is taller than me, and she has (tmi, I know) quite a large bust. With some make up on, she could easily pass as 17, yet I'm never questioned when I'm with her (and trust me, she does drool at the sight of alcohol!!)

I just don't understand how it works, hence why I am asking.

missymoomoomee · 05/08/2012 20:18

I have had to refuse parents with a teenager in a shop because the teenager was choosing the alcohol and it was very apparent it was for them to drink even though the parent was buying it. I did feel a bit stupid but thats what we were told to do in the training we were given. A lot of shops now have a system where the bottles are marked so if the teen was drinking in the street it would be traced back to the shop.

Also a lady I was working with got a written warning as she served a 23 year old without asking for ID as we were told to ask anyone under the age of 25 (it was someone they had sent in to check that ID was being asked for)

I do think a petition to do something about ID is a ridiculous idea. Its much better now you have to look 25 to be served.

Shullbit · 05/08/2012 20:20

And BTW, I agree that if I am with someone underage in a bar, and order two alcoholic drinks, I should be pulled up on it and would expect to.

But I have never been stupid enough to try get away with that anyway

Shullbit · 05/08/2012 20:27

missy, again, in that situation, I would expect to be refused a sale.

But in my predicament, I simply walked in, went and picked up three bottles of wine, admittedly passing two to my partners sister to carry as I only had one free hand but there was no hesitation, she didn't help with choosing as she had already informed me what her mother liked to drink, and they could see perfectly well that I only had one hand free, so obviously couldn't carry the three myself.

In that instance, would you serve? Or would it be a refusal?

I am honestly curious as to how it works.

missymoomoomee · 05/08/2012 20:32

I was told to refuse if you suspect it isn't for the person who is buying it. Really it is down to the cashier, some of them do get on a bit of a power trip in all honesty. Personally in your instance I wouldn't have refused, I only refuse if I actually hear them discussing it or there is, for example, an 18 year old and a 15 year old and its the type of drink (ie cider, alchopops, half bottle of vodka and a 2ltr bottle of coke) they would be drinking outdoors.

SamanthaStormer · 05/08/2012 20:41

YABU. So what if you're 30? If you're a person who looks underage (which I'm assuming you are by your post) then how the blinkin' eck is the Cashier serving you going to know you are in fact a 30 year old?
The cashier would rather be safe than sorry, as she'd no doubt get a huge fine/slap on the wrist/lose her job or whatever.
How was it humiliating, though? I'm 35 and NEVER get Id'ed. I went out with my 27 year old sis the other day in a pub, and her mate. Both got ID'd. They both served me straight away, no questions asked. Even though they were making them both flash cards.
I obviously look every inch of my age and a right haggard old trout.
If I got asked for ID I'd most likely lean across the counter and give 'em a big smacker on the lips!

Shullbit · 05/08/2012 20:48

Ah, I see. So if they sort of show any signs that it possibly isn't for themselves.

Well, technically, two wasn't so I suppose she got it right . One was for the future MIL as a thank you for being our driver for the day, one was for the host and one was for myself. MIL and host both being nearly 50 so definitely wasn't for underage drinkers though to my defence

Least I know so to avoid in future. Usually it doesn't bother me, but that day I wasn't impressed as I was grumpy as I was in pain, sleep deprived because of the pain, and didn't fancy walking the extra to the next shop in pain but I sure as hell did not insult anyone or gob off after the face I pulled. Just tried to explain she was just helping me carry them but they didn't believe me so meh, one of those things.

I had wondered whether it was an age thing though, say an adult could by alcohol with a 14 year old but not older type thing, which is good that it isn't the case.

Shullbit · 05/08/2012 20:50

Adult could buy alcohol even.

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 21:15

In a prosecution, it would the licensee (DPS) of the shop (probably the senior store manager) who would be prosecuted, fined, and possibly lose his/her licence, even though they might be nowhere near the till where the sale was made, and the staff may have been quite inexperienced, so in a larger shop I expect they have quite restrictive internal rules. Legal responsibilty falls very firmly on the DPS.

In a supermarket chain, the company would doubtless be anxious to replace the old licensee with a new one, to deflect blame.

A pub, bar, hotel, club, off-licence etc would be out of business until a new licensee was appointed.

TheQueenOfDiamonds · 05/08/2012 21:55

" have had to refuse parents with a teenager in a shop because the teenager was choosing the alcohol and it was very apparent it was for them to drink even though the parent was buying it."

Hmmm. They're still not doing anything wrong though? As it is perfectly legal to give your child alcohol in your own home. If you were going to do this it would make sense to ask what drink they would like.

I don't know, I can see why its done, but I think it is a bit contradictory to the law there.

PigletJohn · 05/08/2012 22:01

? how can you tell the difference between that, and the lad who says "Oy, mum, buy me 12 cans of strongbow to drink in the park with me mates"

missymoomoomee · 05/08/2012 22:16

You just have to make a judgement call on it. I know its legal for a 13 year old to drink at home and its the parents right as far as my personal opinion goes but the rules in my shop were clear, if we knew the alcohol was for someone underage we weren't allowed to sell it. At that time we were getting management sending people in all the time to test us on if we were sticking to their rules as well. To be honest I would rather be over cautious, piss a few people off and not get a massive fine and lose my job. Its a really hard one though as we have guidelines but not many actual definative rules.

SchrodingersMew · 05/08/2012 23:05

In Blackpool it's think 30! That is taking it too far.

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