To think WTAF at my mothers helpful hints

[KPT083]

So here goes, phone call from my DM (who I love dearly btw), saying I've been thinking.......When little baby arrives, when it's sleeping you should be getting DH's dinner ready and tidying up the house!!

I know I might try and do a few bits (if I feel upto it) but DH says to sleep when lo does, he and I are realists, even tho my well meaning DM is making me feel like I failed already. Obviously I smiled, nodded and said yes mum. I suppose I'm just god smacked.....

I agree with Euphemia, every mother and baby are different, you will soon be into a routine that will suit yourselves, so don't worry, go with the flow

Mums eh always trying to be helpful

Well, to me she sounds reasonable ? I mean if you take out the "for dh" part which is probably just a generation thing. After the first few weeks you probably wont need to sleep all the time in the day so doing the housework etc during the time the baby is sleeping seems reasonable?. Thats what i have done for the last 8 years anyway with mine!. Yabu i dont see why you are gobsmacked?

PMSL!
And make sure you have a bow in your hair and your best clothes on for when he gets back from work.
Next time she makes a comment like that I think you just need to laugh and say Oh is that what it was like in the olden days?!

5dcs, why do you think the mother felt the need to tell the OP that.
And tbh, as with everyone else, what the OP does with her time is up to her, and to some extent her DH

Is she of the generation when babies were left to cry as housework was more important? :(

Is she of the generation when babies were left to cry as housework was more important? :(

Lol I'm sure she means well

Nod and smile, ignore and do it your own way - whatever suits you best.
Sleep when the baby sleeps if you need to; and if you don't need to, I'm sure you, as an intelligent adult woman, can work out what you do want/need to do while you have the opportunity!

Can't believe your mum actually felt the need to tell you she'd "been thinking" about it

Lol, ridiculous. I don't know how you could nod along and not challenge her. Dh should be doing 50% of the housework so when's his prescribed time to do it?

My MIL told me to get the vacuuming done while DCs sleep as it will get them used to the noise and then they'll sleep through anything.

I just nodded and smiled while thinking - yeah right, I've got twins here, and you didn't do night feeds with one baby, I'll be eating or snoozing when they sleep, Ta very much.

Oh love her!

Stealth - of course what she does is up to her but unless there is a massive back story it seems like a throw away comment made by someone who is trying to help. I dont see how that can get the OP to feel she has failed. Its not awful advice and it wasnt phrased a a criticism.

Ok i clearly need to work on my "being offended". I woukdnt have even registered that but clearly im not normal...

eating, snoozing or simply sitting there spacing out or reading a book!
Even removing the entire feminist argument, I simply cannot see why the OP's mum felt the need to think about this and then ring and tell her!
Some people advise to sleep when the baby does because that is something that actually might not occur to a tired new mum who is desperately trying to keep it together. I don't think anyone isn't aware that there's a week's worth of washing up in the sink and an ironing pile containing the very important work shirts of the very important man in the house :o

"Dh should be doing 50% of the housework so when's his prescribed time to do it?"

As well as go out to work?

OP - let me just get it in before your thread is hijacked completely - everyone gives you advice whether you want it or not - just smile happily at everyone and ignore 99% of them

5dcs, don't you have housework you could be doing instead of MNing?

Yes ignore all advice unless you actually want to take it :o (and mine, of course - follow that to the letter)

Stealth dont worry ill have my army of children do it for me

Sorry to harp on about this, but how did this go frmo the OP's mum's point of view

DD having a baby...DD will have the odd hour here and there when the baby sleeps....what can she do with that time? Stamp collecting, no, dangerous fumes, fell walking, well no, who would look after the baby...sudoku....no, she'll get newsprint all over her hand, I've got it! Housework

send them round here with their feather dusters when they start wingeing about being bored :)

Old Wives Tales - often have a factual basis.

I'm thinking cabbage leaves, am I right ladies?

Yes squeaky. Being a stay at home PARENT means looking after children not being a maid. Looking after a child is as hard as work. So they should be sharing chores equally and sharing childcare equally when he's in.
Most women who work full time do about 90% of housework and childcare and no one questions that! Ofc he should be equally participating.

But but babies sleep alot and just sit there doing nothing, at least once the are last newborn they just dont take up much time - do they?. I mean she will have time to sudoku , collect stamps and housework unless she has a very large house OR a very large stamp collection to administer.